Don't Leave (Naughty Version)
by woodster93
Summary: Elliot always told her they would be partners till the end and he would be there to protect her. Bit sometimes promises have to be broken, no matter how many people get hurt. Story also posted under normal rating but I wanted to spice it up so I have posted it here aswell. Chapters the same up till Chapter 9
1. Chapter 1

**Story contains some adult themes and bad language. The first few chapters will be jumping back and forwards in time in a series of flashbacks I hope it isn't to hard to follow. Let me know what you think and weather its worth carrying on.**

Chapter 1

**12****th**** June 2008, New York**

Don Cragen replaced the phone receiver into its cradle his hands trembling. He sat back in his chair and felt the tears falling down his face. He wiped them away and took a deep breath trying to control sick feeling in his stomach. He heard talking and laughter coming from the squad room and stood up from his chair, and looked out through the window and sighed he had to tell them now, before the news got out. He walked slowly to the door and pulled it open. He stood looking at his Detectives they looked happy and he was about to put an end to it.

"Guys…." He called out, they all looked towards him, "Can you come in here, I need to tell you all something." He turned around and walked back into the office and sat on the edge of his desk.

"Close the door and take a seat," he told them as they came in.

"Cap you okay, you don't look too good?" they all sat in the chairs in front of his desk and looked at him.

"I err… I just had a call," he heard his voice breaking; he cleared his throat as he looked at them. They all sat looking knowing whatever he had to tell them wasn't good. "Jesus…." He said rubbing his face. "It's not good…. I ….Its Elliot." He said looking at them all his eyes stopping on Olivia. She looked at her Captain and seen the tears forming in his eyes. "There is no easy way to say this…" he said his voice breaking,

Olivia started to shake her head.

"God No…please no" she whispered. "Please don't say it..."

"I'm so sorry….. He was killed early this morning…" said Cragen a tear escaping from his eye as he looked at the three Detectives sat in front of him. Fin and Munch just looked at him not knowing what to say.

Olivia didn't hear anything else past he was killed this morning, her body began to shake, and she couldn't control it. "He can't be … I only spoke to him last night, he called me… he's not dead, he is visiting the kids, he can't be… He is only on vacation for the week"

She took her phone out and called Elliot's cell phone, it went straight to answer phone. "Damn it Stabler, quit fucking about and answer your phone!" she yelled.

Munch and Fin looked at her Munch wiping at his eyes, while Fin just sat. Cragen dropped down in front of her and took her phone from her hands.

"He's gone Honey," he said taking hold of her hands. "I'm so sorry."

She shook her head "No he wouldn't do this, he wouldn't just leave me, he wouldn't do that….. He promised me, he said he would always be here." The tears started to fall. "He wouldn't leave me…. He is my Partner, he can't do this," she sobbed. Cragen pulled her into his arms and held her as her body shook. She pulled away quickly and vomited as Cragen rubbed her back.

"I will get some tissues" said Fin needing to do something.

"It's okay Olivia," said Cragen.

"No its not!" she yelled. "He broke his fucking promise, he told me he would always be here, and he lied!" she jumped up and ran from the office. Cragen looked at Munch.

"Go with her, stay with her no matter what she says or does." Munch nodded and ran out after Liv passing Fin who was coming back into the office.

"What happened Cap?" he asked the older man as they both sat down.

"Car accident. He went off the road and down the embankment the car rolled and burst into flames, he didn't stand a chance."

"Was there anyone else involved?"

"No it looks like he just lost control, the car is being checked over now. It just looks like a bad accident."

"Have Kathy and the kids been informed?"

"Yeah… they are being told now, Kathy lives with her parents in Florida since the divorce so local police are handling it, Elliot was heading to the airport when It happened."

"Cap…. Olivia….."

"We just need to be strong for her; we need to be here for here."

**07****th**** Nov 2010, Afghanistan.**

"Can somebody please pin point these Fuckers and take them out!" Gunnery Sgt Mick Shaw yelled, over the noise of machine gun fire.

"Fuck!" yelled the Marine to his left as a round whipped past him.

"Keep your Fucking head down."

"Gunny I got them, 3 O'clock 600 meters."

"Well what you waiting for get tracer's rounds down there" he yelled grinning at the young Marine. The young man grinned back trying to hide his nerves as he took up his position and opened fire sending tracer rounds to the enemy's position. No sooner had the rounds been fired at the location than the rest of the Section opened fire, taking out the enemy position.

Shaw stood up slowly and surveyed the now quiet area. He motioned with his hands for everyone to stand up.

"Everyone Okay" he shouted down the line. He was answered with several "Yeah's and fine's". "Okay let's move." His section carried on their Patrol slowly towards the small village in the distance. They were out on a reconn patrol after intelligence had come back saying there was a Taliban arms hide out in the village. They were to observe the place and take photos ready for a future take down of the place. They stopped half a mile from the village.

"Sgt take Miles, Banks, Burns and Walker with you and check out the left side of the village. Do not move any further forward than this point. We will move out at 0400 hours that gives us ten hours to collect as much info as possible."

"Got it Gunny," he said moving down the line and touching each of the men on their shoulders to follow him.

Shaw signalled to the other four Men in his section. "Get dug in along the ditch, get as much info as you can before the sun sets, keep alert as we know from earlier we have hostiles in the area."

The men spread out keeping low and moving slow. Shaw looked down on the village, it looked quiet, but looks can be deceiving. As the sun set they took out night vision goggles and carried out their surveillance. Nothing had happened and they hadn't seen any movement for the last 6 hours.

"Gunny," said a voice from behind him. "You sure the Intel on the place was right, the place is like a ghost town."

He shrugged his shoulders "We go with what we are told Harvey that's why we are here. Why you got somewhere else and something better you could be doin." He went back to watching the village.

"Gunny look at nine o'clock." Shaw looked were he told him.

"What the hell…" he looked and watched as three men dragged a young girl towards a building on the outskirts of the village. They were waving weapons around and laughing. The girl who looked no older than ten fell to the floor. One of the men laughed and kicked her in the stomach; he bent down and ripped her clothes off, before dragging her by the hair into the small building. One of the men sat outside the building and starting smoking.

"The fucking Bastards are gonna rape her," snarled Shaw. He took off the radio he had attached to his back.

"Gunny what you doin?" asked Harvey.

"Getting her out of there" he told him.

"You can't…. You can't just leave your post and go in there, you said yourself we have a job to do."

"Yeah and I can't just sit here while a young girl gets brutally raped by three men. We are supposed to be here to help the local people," He told him. "Stay here and keep watch, I will be as quick as possible."

"Damn it Gunny" he said as he got on the radio and warned the others what was going on.

Shaw made his way as quickly as possible towards the building, keeping hid in the shadows. As he got close to the building he crawled the last few meters and got behind the building. He could hear the young girl screaming from inside the building. He moved silently up behind the man outside the building and grabbed him round the neck and put him in a sleeper hold until he passed out, and dropped him to the floor. He gently cocked his weapon and made his way towards where the girl was screaming.

He looked in the building and seen one of them lying on top of the naked young girl, whilst the other one stood watching and laughing. He silently walked up behind the man watching and put his pistol to his head.

"Drop your fucking weapon," he warned him. The man turned and went to raise his weapon; Shaw smashed him in the face with his elbow knocking him to the floor. He turned his pistol on the other man who was still on top of the girl but had turned to see what was happening.

"Get off her!" he told him, the man slowly pushed away from the girl, who curled up into a small ball on the floor crying. Shaw took his rifle and hit the man in the side of his head with the rifle butt, the man dropped to the floor. "Stay there you fuckin prick," he cursed as he kicked him in the stomach as he went to the girl and crouched down beside.

"Hey sweetheart," he said in a soothing voice. "You're gonna be okay, your safe," he told her, not knowing if she could even understand him. He looked around and see a dirty blanket on the floor and picked it up and wrapped the girl in it. "Come on let's get you out of here." He reached towards her and picked her up in his arms, holding her close to him. She was still crying and he wiped her tears away. "Its okay, you're safe now," he said as he carried her out the building. He had a quick glance around and didn't see anyone, staying in the shadows he quickly made his way back to his section.

He felt a sharp pain in his lower back as he fell to the floor still holding the girl in his arms. He heard the sound of gunshots and yelling before everything went black.

He heard voices shouting "Stay with us Gunny… we got you" he tried to open his eyes but couldn't. "We need to stop the fuckin bleeding….. He is gonna bleed to death…" it was the last thing he heard as he lost consciousness.

**12th June 2008, New York**

John followed Olivia to the roof, he found her slumped to the floor hugging her knees. He walked over to her and sat on the floor next to her, without speaking, he knew she would talk when she wanted to. Despite the warm weather he felt her shaking next to him, he took off his jacket and put it round her shoulders and pulled her to him putting his arm around her.

"How could he do this," she sniffed. "How could he just leave me without saying goodbye?" Munch never spoke he just held her, what was he supposed to say to her. Her Partner and best friend was gone. The one person she could always count on to be there had gone.

"I can't do this without him John, we tried, we always come back to each other…. How can I do this without him?"

John pulled her to him and held her tightly "Your strong Olivia and I know it doesn't seem like it but you will survive losing him, we all will…. We will all miss him."

"He wasn't supposed to go like this," she sniffed. "We used to joke about how when we went it would be in a blaze of glory, in some big gun fight, saving someone. He wasn't supposed to go in some stupid accident or something….. I don't even know how he ….died." she cried. She pulled John close to her and cried her body shaking. "I loved him and I didn't even tell him, I never had the guts to open up to him and tell him, and now it's too late he will never know."

"He knew Olivia, deep down he knew just like you know he loved you. You guys didn't have to say it to each other, to know."

John sat on the roof and held her until it grew dark. "Come on Olivia we should go back in Cragen and Fin will be worried." He pulled away from her and stood up. He reached down and took her hands helping her to stand and they walked together off the roof.

Cragen, Fin, Casey and Melinda all looked towards them as they walked back into the squad room, Fin stood up and went to her and put his arms around her and held her tight.

"We are all here for you Baby girl," he whispered to her as he held. Olivia nodded and looked at Casey who was stood off to one side her eyes red from crying. Munch was holding Melinda.

"We came as soon as Cragen called," said Casey. "We all need to be together at a time like this."

Olivia looked over to his desk. Pens were thrown across it just left, a half drunk cup of coffee. She went over and sat in his chair and picked up a photo of him and his kids, "I love you El," she whispered as the tears fell again.

**Well what do you think worth carrying on or not? Let me know.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the positive feed back. This chapter in the same format with the flashbacks, things will start to fall into place after this chapter. please keep the reviews coming.**

Chapter 2

**09****th**** Nov 2010- Camp Bastion, Afghanistan.**

Shaw slowly opened his eyes the lights were bright and hurt so he closed them again quickly.

"Welcome back marine," he heard someone say. "I will dim the lights a little….. Okay how's that?"

He opened his eyes and nodded slightly "Yeah better," his voice was rough and his throat sore.

"I will get you a drink of water, you had us worried there for a while, and you have been out of it for thirty hours." The young woman in a military uniform stood over him and gently placed her hand under his head and lifted him slightly and held the cup to his lips whilst he took a drink. "That better?" she asked dropping his head back to the pillow. He nodded, and watched her as she took his blood and temperature, she kept smiling at him.

"What….. What happened?" he asked her.

"Why don't I get the doctor to come in and speak to you?"

"Please just tell me….. Please, I … I can't feel my legs." He said. She could hear the panic in his voice and he grabbed her wrist.

"Just try and stay calm, I will get the Doctor," she told him pulling away from his grip.

Shaw lay on the bed looking at the ceiling. The last thing he remembered was grabbing the girl ad running from the building, what the hell had happened. Suddenly another reason to panic set in, he looked around frantically for someone, anyone, as the Doctor and the woman walked in.

"They girl! What happened to the girl?" he asked.

The Doctor just looked at him, "I'm sorry I don't know what you're on about, just try and stay calm."

"Don't tell me to stay calm!" he yelled. "I just woke up, I don't know what the hell happened, I can't feel my legs, I just want to know that she is safe, please don't tell me, I didn't save her…..please, I need to know."

"Corporal," the doctor said to the woman in uniform. "Can you go make some enquiries whilst I talk to Gunnery Sergeant Shaw?"

She nodded and left the room.

"Okay…. I need you to calm down, alright. We will find out what happened to the girl for you."

Shaw nodded and tried to control his breathing. "Why can't I feel my legs Doc, what happened?"

The Doctor held his wrist checking his pulse. "You were airlifted in here 36 hours ago. I don't know the full details of what mission you were on but you were shot four times in the back." Shaw looked at him as he spoke. "Two of the rounds passed straight through, the other two we had to remove… however….."

Shaw looked at the Doctor, "Just tell me, how bad is it?"

"One of the rounds hit your lower spine…. We won't know how sever it is till you start to heal, it just could be all the swelling that is causing the loss of feeling. If that's the case with help the feeling should start to come back."

"And if it not just the swelling?" he asked. "Will I be like this the rest of my life?"

"I'm sorry, but I really can't say…. All we can do now is wait and see what happens." Shaw nodded at him. "On a brighter note, you are being flown back home tomorrow to San Antonio Military Hospital for further treatment, so at least you will be closer to your family and loved ones," The Doc said smiling.

Shaw nodded to him.

"I will send Corporal Brennan back in as soon as she finds out any info for you until then try and rest," he told him. "We will take you for some further tests later on today."

Shaw lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling, he tried wiggling his toes, tried to move any part of his legs, but nothing. He slammed his hands down by his side, and closed his eyes, sleep taking over him.

**19****th**** June 2008- New York.**

Olivia stood in the cribs and finished buttoning up her dress uniform; she leant forward and rested her head on her locker.

"You okay Olivia?" she lifted her head and turned to see Cragen stood in the doorway.

She shook her head, "I don't know if I can do this," she told him her voice breaking again, and the tears falling. "I can't stand there and say goodbye to him." Cragen walked to her and held her in his arms as she cried.

Over the last week since they had gotten the news about Elliot's death, Olivia had been given time off. Casey and Fin both asked her to go and stay with them but she refused saying she needed time alone. After three days and no word from her, ignoring phone calls and visits to her apartment by her friends Cragen had gone to her. He had found her spare key in Elliot's possessions when they were delivered to the station. After knocking on the door and calling her, he used the key to enter. The apartment was in darkness and the curtains closed_._

**_"Olivia," he called out, "Are you here, Honey?"_**

**_"Leave me alone," he heard her say, her voice just above a whisper. Cragen let out a relieved breath, now he knew she was Okay. "I'm sorry but I can't do that, we were all worried about you." He walked in and closed the door, he looked around as his eyes got used to the darkness, he saw her sat on the floor in front of her couch. He walked round towards her and his feet crunched on something. He looked down and saw broken glass and a smashed photo frame with a photo of her and Elliot. He bent down and picked it up before sitting on the couch next to her. She was holding a half drunk bottle of whiskey and another empty bottle lay on the floor in front of her. He sighed as she raised the bottle to her mouth and took a drink._**

**_"How long you been sat here like this?" he asked her noticing she was wearing the same clothes she had left the station in._**

**_She shrugged her shoulders "I don't know, I went to a bar when I left work, then came home, not left or done much since, except pee, throw up and drink," she said raising the bottle in the air before taking another drink._**

**_"Drink isn't the answer, you know that Olivia."_**

**_She snorted "Maybe not but it numbs the pain and helps make things disappear…. At least I know why my mam drank now," she laughed. She went to stand up and staggered slightly. "I need to pee," she told him staggering to her bathroom._**

**_Cragen pulled his phone out and called Casey. _**

**_"I need you now at Olivia's she is in a bad way," he told._**

**_"Sure I'm on my way; I will grab Fin on the way." Cragen hung up and looked at the photo. It was taken the day they got promotion, they were both in their dress uniforms and smiling, flashing their badges, it had been a good day. He smiled and put the photo down on the small table and started to pick up the broken glass, and prayed he hadn't lost Olivia as well as Elliot._**

Olivia sniffed and pulled back, "I'm sorry, your jacket is soaking."

He smiled down at her and wiped her tears away. "You will get through this today; we will all get through this together. She nodded and pulled away heading to the bathroom. She turned around and faced him.

"I will see you downstairs."

He sighed and rubbed his face not knowing whether to leave her alone or not.

**_"She is in the bathroom, she has been in there for about half an hour, she answers me but won't come out," he told Fin and Casey._**

**_"Why don't you guys tidy up here, I will go and talk to her," said Fin heading to the bathroom._**

**_"Hey baby girl, can I come in," he heard her sniffing behind the door and slowly pushed it open._**

**_"Leave me the Fuck alone, Fin" she warned him as he came in._**

**_"Sorry, but I can't do that." She was slumped on the floor by the bath, he sat down beside her._**

**_"Why can't people just leave me alone?" she asked him as he put his arm around her._**

**_"Because we all care about you, and we know how much you are hurting, we just want to be there for you."_**

**_"But that's just it Fin, the one person who is supposed to be here with me, when I'm feeling like this, is the person who has caused it. How could he do that how could he just leave me? I loved him and he just left me… I never told him," she sobbed. "I was too scared of ruining our partnership that I never told him I loved him…..instead I just ran from the truth and now it's to fucking late." She threw the bottle of whiskey across the bathroom hitting the door as it shattered. Fin held her as she sobbed. The bathroom door opened and Cragen and Casey looked down at them._**

**_"Its okay baby girl, I got you," said Fin holding her tight. He nodded to Cragen and Casey that everything was alright and they closed the door._**

**_"How do I do this without him?" she asked him between the sobs._**

**_"One day at a time Baby, one day at a time."_**

Olivia came out the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes were red and puffy from crying, she took a deep breath and closed her locker door. She looked slightly to the right t Elliot's locker. She ran her fingers over his name.

"God I'm going to miss you," she whispered.

"Olivia."

She pulled her hand away and turned around. There stood in the doorway was Kathy. Olivia looked at her not knowing what to say to her. She walked closer to her.

"Don told me you were up here." As Olivia got closer she saw Kathy's eyes were just as red and puffy as hers.

"Don't we both look a mess," said Olivia. Kathy smiled.

"I'm gonna miss him as well," she said pulling Olivia into a hug. Olivia put her arms around Kathy and held her tight, as both women cried for the man they both loved. Olivia pulled back and they both wiped their eyes, sniffing. Olivia opened her locker and took out some hankies handing one to Kathy.

"When did you get back from Florida?" Olivia asked her.

"Four days ago, I was going to come and see you but I didn't want to leave the kids."

"How are they?" Olivia asked.

"As good as can be expected. They were angry at first, then upset, now they just seem calm. I'm just taking it one day at a time with them. They asked if they could spend some time with you before we head back to Florida?"

"That would be nice," said Olivia smiling. They both stood in silence.

"I received a box with some of Elliot's stuff in this morning," said Kathy going into her bag and I was wondering if you would like this…" she said.

Olivia looked down at what Kathy had put into her hand. "The kids and myself agree this should be yours," smiled Kathy. Olivia nodded and ran her fingers over the shield her fingers tracing over the 6313.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Kathy nodded. "You do know that he loved you, don't you."

Olivia just looked at her. "Kathy…. I …nothing….."

"It's okay Olivia, I know nothing happened, but I'm not stupid, I know he loved you and I'm fine with that. I know he loved me as well just not in the same way."

Olivia went to speak but Kathy shook her head.

"Come on, we should be going, the kids are waiting downstairs with everyone."

Olivia put the badge in her pocket and followed Kathy out the cribs and downstairs. As they reached the bottom Fin came over to her as Kathy went to the kids.

"You Okay?" he asked her. She nodded and forced a small smile. He turned and walked away just as Elliot's kids came over to her.

"Hey Livvy," said Maureen tears filling her eyes.

"Hey guys, how you all holding up?" she asked looking at the all.

"We ….. We…." Dickie tried to say before he burst into tears. Olivia opened her arms and they went to her as they hugged each other. Kathy looked over smiling at them. Cragen stood next to her.

"It's time to go," he told everyone in the room.

** 09th Nov 2010- Camp Bastion, Afghanistan.**

Shaw felt a hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes. Corporal Brennan was stood by his side.

"Sorry to wake you but I thought you would like to know what I found out." She said to him.

"Erm yeah…. Can you help me sit up?"

"I'm sorry but I can't you need to remain lying flat for now."

Shaw grunted, "I fucking hate lying down."

Brennan smiled at him, "Could be worse you could be lying in a coffin."

Shaw looked at her in disbelieve at first then started to laugh "Yeah I suppose your right. So what did you find out for me?"

"Well you were shot in the back by one of the guys you knocked out when rescuing the young girl. One of your section seen you go down and took the man out before going to your aid. They managed to stop the bleeding the best they could and called for evacuation. I think you could be in the shit slightly for going against orders…"

"What about the girl?"

"She was hit by one of the rounds that went through you."

"Fuck!" he cursed. "Please tell me she is okay and I haven't gone through all this for nothing."

"I can do better than tell you," smiled Brennan. She walked to the door and waved, a small girl came into the room with a bandage on her arm and a big smile on her face. Shaw looked over and matched her big smile.

"Hi" he said to her. "Your safe." She walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome Sweetheart." She stood next to his bed and held his hand.

"She doesn't speak any English but asked how to say a few things to you. Her name is Afia" said Brennan. She stood at the end of Shaw's bed and took out her camera phone. "Hey Guys look this way and smile," she said.

"Look Afia" said Shaw pointing to the camera. Afia turned towards the camera and smiled as Brennan took the photo.

"I will make sure you get a copy," she told him.

"What will happen to her now?" he asked.

"She will be kept here until she is recovered then she will found a new family, her family were all killed from what we can gather."

"Can I ask you a favour, will you let me know how she gets on. I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Yeah sure…. I best get her back." Shaw nodded.

"Bye Aria, be good," he said tapping her nose with his finger.

"Bye Gunny," she giggled as she left the room.

Shaw smiled and dropped his head back to his pillow. At least he can go home knowing he did one good thing out here.

**19th June 2008- New York.**

Olivia stood between Kathy and Cragen at the graveside. She held Kathy's hand as the priest talked, but she never heard a thing he said as she stared at the coffin draped in the flag. She let the tears fall and didn't even try to stop them. Cragen looked at her and put his arm around her shoulders, she lay her head on his shoulder, she didn't care how it looked in front of everyone, her Captain comforting her, she was just glad he was there. She jumped as the first shots went off for the gun salute and she felt Kathy leave loose of her hand as she hugged Lizzy. Olivia looked down the line and saw Maureen and Kathleen hugging. Dickie was stood alone crying. Olivia pulled away and walked to Dickie.

"Hey" she whispered, putting her arm around him and pulling him into a hug as they lowered the coffin into the ground. Suddenly she had a strange feeling as though something was wrong. She lifted her head and looked around at everyone and across the cemetery at the line of parked cars, but nothing seemed to be wrong. She kissed Dickies head as they continued to lower his father into the ground.

He watched through the blacked out windows of the car and his tears as the coffin was lowered into the ground. He saw her look around and shrunk back from the window afraid she would see him through the glass. She turned her head back round and watched the coffin as it was lowered.

"Let's go" he said, as he watched Olivia kiss his sons head and wrap her arms around him to give him comfort, he couldn't watch anymore as the car pulled away.

**Oooooh I'm really lovin writing this story. Even I got a little bit upset writing that chapter. how do you all think its going. Could be looking at another Chapter today, unless of course I go to pub. lol**


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow quite surprised I managed to get another Chapter out so quickly but this story is just so easy to write at the moment, please enjoy.**

Chapter 3

**23 Dec 2010- New York**

Olivia threw her pen down on the desk and sighed, she had been stuck doing paperwork for the last few days after punching a perp in interrogation.

"You okay Liv?" asked Fin looking up from the computer.

"Yeah just pissed off with paperwork," she grumbled, kicking out at her bin.

Munch grinned and looked over at Fin, "You still think I'm wrong."

Fin smiled, "The more it happens, the more I wonder."

"What the hell are you two on about?" she asked getting up and pouring a coffee. She spat it back in the cup and threw the cup into the bin, pulling a face.

"Munch has been saying how much you're getting like Stabler, the short fuse, beating up perps, throwing and kicking things."

"Yeah it's like his spirit is inside you."

Olivia looked at the pair of them and shook her head, sitting back at her desk and picking up her pen and carried on the paper work. The thought that Elliot was still with her somehow made her warm inside and happy. She looked at the photo on her desk of the two of them together and the one with him and his kids, she still missed him every day. The pain of losing him was still there but she was coping a lot better.

She had taken time off after his funeral, Kathy had invited her to go and stay with them in Florida for a while. She was reluctant at first but the kids had begged her to. They had hired a RV and drove there instead giving them time to relax and come to terms with losing him. She stayed with them for six weeks before coming back to New York and work.

Since then she had been suspended three times for using too much force arresting suspects and forced to take un paid leave a number of times.

The results from Elliot's accident came back after eight weeks, accidental death, he just lost control on the bend and couldn't take control back of the car, he broke his neck and died instantly. It made everyone feel better knowing he wasn't alive when the fire took hold, at least he didn't suffer.

Olivia's thoughts were interrupted when the Commissioner walked into the squad room, ignored everyone and walked straight into Cragen's office.

"What the hell you do now?" Fin asked Olivia.

"Very funny," she smiled throwing her pen at him.

Two minutes later two men in suites walked through and entered the office as well.

"What the hell the FEDS doin here?" asked Munch. They all turned and looked towards Cragen office, where they were all stood talking.

Thirty Minutes later the door opened and the Commissioner and the FEDS left. Ten minutes after that Cragen came out.

"You okay Cap, you don't look too good?" asked Fin.

"Yeah I'm fine….. Erm Munch you're in charge for a while." he told him.

"What? Why?"

"Cause you're the bloody Sergeant that's why, just try and to screw up!" he yelled heading back into office. The three Detectives looked at each other.

"What the hell was that all about?" asked fin. Olivia stood up and walked to Cragen's office tapping on the door and walking in.

"You okay Cap?" she asked him, as she watched him tidy his desk.

"I'm fine…. I have just been asked to help out at another unit for a while. I will be back after Christmas."

Olivia nodded "Okay, no problem. As long as you're Okay."

"I am…..Olivia I'm sorry I know you were going to come to me for Christmas."

"It's okay," she smiled. "Don't worry about it. I will spend it in a bar with Casey instead."

"Have a good time; I will see you in the New Year." He told her. Olivia went to her Captain and hugged him.

"Take care, with whatever it is your doin," she told him.

**23 Dec 2010 – San Antonio Military Medical Centre.**

"God Dammit" yelled Shaw throwing his book across his room and it bounced off the wall. He looked down at the bar of chocolate he had dropped on the floor. It had just taken him twenty minutes to get himself out of his bed and into his wheel chair. So he could go the 50 yards down the corridor to the vending machine. Only to come back struggle back onto the bed and then drop it.

"Hey you okay?" asked a guy in his door way in a wheel chair.

"Yeah Mickey I'm fine, just dropped my chocolate bar," he mumbled.

"Do you want me to grab it for you?"

"Sure" grinned Shaw. He watched mickey as he climbed down from his chair and shuffled along on his hands and two stumps where his legs used to be. He picked up the bar and handed it up to Shaw.

"Thanks, Man," said Shaw.

"No problem, no give me a pull up." Shaw reached down and grabbed Mickeys hand and helped pull him up onto the bed next to him. "How did Physio go this morning?" he asked Shaw.

"Not too bad I suppose, I actually held myself up for about 2 seconds."

"Nice man," smiled mickey. "You know I look at you, and I sometimes think I was better off losing both my legs from just above my knee, at least I just got to wait to get my new ones."

Shaw shook his head, "You're crazy, do you know that."

"Hey at least if mine get on my nerves I can take them off. You stuck with yours just hanging there if you can't get them to work." He laughed and Shaw laughed with him.

"Tell you what, this time next year how about we meet up and go ice skating see who has better control of their lower limbs then," challenged Shaw.

"You got yourself a deal. You staying in here over Christmas?" he asked him.

"Yeah… you?"

"Yep, I got my brother bringing in some drink tomorrow so we can celebrate I will give you a shout and you can come and join me for a few."

"Sure sounds good." He helped mickey down from the bed and watched him climb back into his chair.

"See ya later Gunny," he said leaving the room.

**Christmas Day 2010 – New York.**

Olivia opened her eyes and groaned as she looked around her living room. She had fallen asleep on her couch again. She remembers getting home, but that's about it. She looked at the clock, just after ten. She had three hours to sort herself out before she met Casey. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She reached down to the table and picked up the bottle of headache tablets and threw two in her mouth and washed it down with glass of water she must of got last night. Finally she stood up and headed to the kitchen and put a pot of coffee on, before heading into the bathroom for a shower. She found her mobile on her bed and read the messages from Fin, Munch and Cragen all wishing her a merry Christmas. She read the one from Casey reminding her of the time and place they were meeting as though she would forget. She then saw the messages from Maureen and Kathy. She read them then looked at the clock.

"FUCK!" she yelled. She quickly replied to the message then quickly stripped and ran into the bathroom and showered. Thirty minutes later she was in a cab.

Twenty minutes later she climbed out the cab and walked towards the Stabler family.

"Hey," she said smiling. "I'm so sorry I only just seen your messages, and missed calls this morning, I didn't even know you guys were in New York," she said hugging all the kids one by one and then Kathy.

"Yeah, they wanted to come and visit Elliot's Mom for Christmas, so we thought it would be nice to drive down to the city this morning."

"Thanks for getting in touch with me to join you." she said as they walked down the pathways. "Did Bernie not want to come?"

"No she still feels guilty cause she never really mended the rift with him before he died. I keep telling her she needs to forgive herself but she won't." Said Kathy.

They all stopped by Elliot's head stone in a small semi-circle.

"Merry Christmas, Dad," said Maureen. "We all miss you so much." She said bending down and laying a white rose. Kathleen and Lizzy followed their sister laying their roses, before the girls stepped back and Dickie stepped forward.

"Hey Dad….listen I got something to tell you, and I don't want you to get mad okay, cause I have really thought about this long and hard and I'm joining the Military."

Olivia looked at Kathy who shrugged. "I'm hoping it's a phase," she whispered smiling. The kids stepped back.

"We will wait at the car for you guys," said Dickie wiping his eyes. Kathy nodded and stepped forward.

"We all miss you Elliot, but the kids are doing well at school and college. I'm hoping to get your Mom to come down here before we head back to Florida but she is a stubborn as you, so I won't hold my breath. I love you," she said laying a rose on top of the headstone. She turned to Olivia and smiled. "I will wait with the kids."

Olivia dropped down onto her knees the cold frosty ground coming through her trousers. "Hey El" she wiped her eyes as a lone tear fell. "Sorry I don't mean to cry every time I come here to see you, it's just I miss you so much. I got into trouble again at work last week got put on desk duty for two weeks, Munch has this big conspiracy that your spirit has possessed my body somehow." She sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I wish I had told you how I felt, maybe then things would have been so different." She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. "That will be Casey we are going to spend Christmas day in a bar, so expect to hear from me later on when I'm drunk. I love you and miss you," she said kissing the top of the headstone. She lay her rose next to Kathy's on the top and stood up. "See ya later." She turned and walked back to Kathy and the kids wiping her eyes.

"You okay," asked Dickie. Olivia nodded.

"Yeah I'm fine," she smiled. Her and Dickie had become really close ever since the funeral, he would often call her just so they could talk about Elliot and Olivia could tell him some daft stories about his time on the force.

"Liv we got you a small present," said Lizzy handing Olivia a small box.

"You didn't have to do that." She said touched that they thought of her. She opened the box and looked inside picking up necklace and looking at it.

"It's Dads Marine medal, we had it made into a necklace for you," said Kathleen. Olivia felt the tears falling.

"But …. But this should stay with you guys," said Olivia looking at them all and Kathy.

"Liv we have stuff all over belonging to Dad, we thought it would be nice for you to have something, we found it a few months ago as we went through a load of his old boxes, it was Moms idea," said Kathleen. Maureen reached forward and took the necklace from Olivia and put it round her neck fastening it.

"Dad would want you to have this Livvy," said Dickie smiling. Olivia touched the necklace and opened her arms hugging them all. She looked at Kathy.

"Thank you," she said to her.

"You're welcome," she smiled.

They all broke apart and the kids climbed in the car.

"Do you need a lift back?" asked Kathy.

"No I'm fine I already booked a cab to pick me back up, you get back and enjoy your day." she hugged Kathy and her partners ex-wife climbed in to the car. She waved at the kids as the car pulled away.

**Christmas Day 2010-San Antonio Military Medical Centre.**

Shaw pushed the wheels on his chair and entered his room. Despite it being Christmas Day he had insisted on doing his two rounds of Physio, after each session he spent and hours working out on his upper body, he was determined to keep as fit as possible.

As he got close to his bed he notices a small package wrapped in Christmas paper on his bed with a card on top, and a note.

_Sorry it took so long, I had to wait till I got home to print it off, keep working hard Gunny, Cpl Brennan. _

He smiled and opened the present it was the photo of him and Aria in the hospital. He smiled at the big smile on her face. He put the photo next to his bed and opened the card; it wasn't a Christmas card but a thank you one. He opened and read the few words scribbled inside.

_Thank you for helping me, you saved me, I am happy now, with a new family. Love Aria xxx_

He wiped the tears away as he read the card again and placed it next to the photo. Everything that had happened out there, losing the feeling in his legs, the hard work to try and walk again, was all worth it knowing she was safe and happy.

"Hey you coming for a game of cards?" shouted mickey from his doorway.

"Sure," he nodded following him.

They had been playing cards for about an hour when they were disturbed.

"Gunny," said the Sgt in front of him. "You have a visitor."

Shaw looked up from his cards "What do you mean, I have a visitor." The Sgt stepped to the side revealing his visitor. He dropped his cards to the table and his body began to shake.

"Hey Shaw you okay, who is this guy?" asked mickey worried about his friend, but Shaw didn't answer he just looked at the man, his mouth opening and closing. mickey looked at the man and seen a tear on his cheek.

"Its….. It's time to come home Elliot," said Cragen looking down at the man who up until two days ago was dead.

**Yeah, of course Gunny Shaw was Elliot, more flashbacks in the next chapter as we find out why his death was faked.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the great feed back on this story. It seems a few people are a little confused. If people are still confused after this chapter I will do a quick summery. Please enjoy.**

Chapter 4

**Christmas Day 2010-San Antonio Military Medical Centre.**

Elliot glared at Cragen who was still just stood in front of him looking down at him.

"What the fuck are you doin here?"

Cragen looked at him trying to hold back the tears that were building, seeing his former Detective who he thought was dead, sitting in front of him, alive.

"I have come to take you home, it's over Elliot."

Elliot looked round the table at everyone looking at him confused by what was going on. He pushed his wheel chair away from the table without a word and left the room. Cragen sighed and followed out and down to his room. Elliot spun his chair around looked up at him.

"What the hell is goin on, who else knows I'm still alive."

"Out of all the people who know you personally….. Just me. I was told everything by the Commissioner and the FEDS 2 days ago. They were going to send an Agent to bring you home but I told them I would."

"Why now, what's changed?" he yelled.

Cragen just stood looking at him "Elliot…"

"Just tell me!" he yelled.

"The FBI fucked up….."

"What? What do you mean they fucked up? Fucked up how? I let everyone I loved…. My kids, Olivia…Kathy think I was dead, and now you tell me they fucked up and I can come home. How can I do that, how can I just suddenly turn up and say Hey kids Daddy's home, it's okay it was just one big fucking joke."

"I'm sorry Elliot…"

"You're sorry…..look at me, do you know what I have been through the last 2 years, and I'm having to learn to walk again." Cragen just looked at him he didn't know what to say, he didn't know how to make it better.

"Just leave me alone," said Elliot dropping his head and spinning his wheelchair away from him. "Just leave me alone."

Cragen walked over to a chair in the corner of the room. "I'm not going anywhere son, I know your angry, you have a right to be. This has been hard on everyone. I can't even imagine how it has been for you, so I won't lie and say I know how you feel."

Elliot sat with his back to Cragen so he couldn't see the tears. "The FEDS came to me; they said a hit had been put out on me. They had an agent in Rikers who had infiltrated the Aryan Brotherhood he told them. Apparently it was some guy I put away years ago, for child porn and murder by the name of Paul Conner, he was made a member of the brotherhood. He decided it was time for pay back, he had been moved to death row and decided he had nothing to lose by having me killed. He started bragging saying he had someone on the outside ready to kill me, and if they didn't get me they were to go for my kids or Olivia. Apparently it was another member of the brotherhood. I laughed it off at first, thought they were crazy until I started getting calls and threats through the post. At first they were going to put me into protective custody for a while till it blew over, but it got more serious when the Aryans found out about the Agent on the inside and killed him. They also killed his Mother, Father and Sister. I realised then how dangerous it was for my family and friends."

"Why didn't you come to me? Tell me what was going on?"

Elliot shrugged his shoulders. "I just guessed the least people knew, the less danger they were in. The Feds had agents watching my family but they couldn't protect them for ever, the best way would be for me to die and word to get back to the Aryans I was out of the picture." He turned his wheel chair round to finally face Cragen. "I had to save my kids, Olivia and everyone else from getting hurt. I knew my death would cause them pain but at least they would be able to move on and be happy, I didn't have a choice."

Elliot wiped his eyes and looked at Cragen "How are my kids and Liv?"

Cragen smiled at him, "I wondered how long it would be before you finally asked," he reached into his Jacket pocket and pulled out some photos handing them to Elliot. "They're all doing great."

Elliot looked at the photos of his kids at some sort of party in a restaurant. He flipped through the photos and stopped at one of Liv; he ran his thumb over the photo and smiled. He stopped at the next one it was of all his kids, Olivia and Kathy all stood with their arms around each other. He looked at Cragen who was smiling.

"It may come as shock to you but Olivia and Kathy get on great. They helped each other and the kids after your death. After your funeral they all took a road trip for 6 weeks in an RV back to Florida."

"Really," he said the first smile appearing on his face since Cragen had turned up.

"Yeah, really," he smiled back at him. He sat in silence as Elliot looked at the photos again, before he spoke again.

"Elliot why out of all the lives you could of chosen when you went into witness protection did you choose to go back to the Marines?"

"It was something I could slip back into easily; I knew about it, I could basically be myself. I kept my head down worked hard it helped me to take my mind off what I had left behind. I was actually happy to go to Afghan."

"I guess I can understand that," he looked at Elliot and nodded to his legs. "So what happened there is it permanent?"

Elliot reached over and showed him the photo of Aria. "We were out doin surveillance. I saw her being raped, I couldn't just leave her. I got her away and was shot in the back as I ran with her in my arms. But she is safe now and that's all that matters. As for this being permanent….. I hope not. I'm having physio which is going well, I actually stood up by myself for a few seconds the other day. It may take a while but I will get there."

"That's good Son, really good." They both went silent for a while.

"Cap….. You said the Feds fucked up…. What did you mean by that? And why have you come here? I can't go home, not after all this time."

"Well from what I was told the guy who took the hit out on you was killed in prison 7 days after your supposed death. The Feds didn't bother investigating any more as they thought it was the Aryans who were after you. It seems the leader of the Aryans never actually knew much about Conner and what he was actually in for. They recruited him because he was white and crazy and they needed the muscle, they knew he was in for a sex offences and porn, but they didn't know it was against kids. So when he asked them for help to take out the Cop who had put him inside they said yes, they didn't care, you would have been just another dead cop….. Elliot do you remember the Hannah Wethers case?"

Elliot sat thinking for a while, "The 8 yr. old who was kidnapped, raped over and over. Me and Liv arrested a guy for it. Casey said without my testimony they would have a tough time putting him away for it because of the lack of evidence. It was only because I actually caught him on top of her when I charged into the room, that they had me as an eye witness. I never got the chance to go to court though cause I had disappeared by this time."

"Yeah that's the one, it turns out the little girl was the niece of Arnold Wethers, the leader of the Aryans who had the hit out on you. His sister came to see him three weeks before the court date and two weeks before your death. She explained how everything depended on your testimony to get him put away for her daughter's rape. Apparently she mentioned you by name and how good you had been with Hannah. It was then he realised he had ordered a hit on you and cancelled it. However the Feds never heard the hit was cancelled and put you into witness protection. You couldn't testify, the guy walked and Conner's was found dead the day after."

Elliot sat looking at him in disbelieve. "So your telling me, there was no hit out on me, it had been called off…. And the Feds did Fuck all about it…. what about all the hate mail and threats I was getting up to the point of me leaving."

"It turns out it was all the work of Conner's girlfriend, nothing to do with the Aryans. The Feds didn't have anyone in the prison, they never heard the hit had been cancelled, and as you were still getting the threats they thought the hit was still on."

"I don't believe this, my kids, Olivia everyone thinks I'm dead, and for what, I didn't need to leave….. How did the they finally realise."

"Wethers was in a group therapy session in prison, 2 months ago, which an undercover agent was also in. He talked about his Niece and how he was to blame for all the problems she had because he screwed up. How he tried to stop everything but couldn't and her rapist had walked free. He had felt the guilt ever since even leaving the brotherhood. The agent mentioned it in his report and the Feds investigated. After a series of interviews they realised the truth and what had happened. I'm so sorry Elliot."

Elliot looked at his former Captain, "Why it's not your fault you knew nothing about It." he sighed and dropped his head. "So now what?" he asked.

"You come home."

"And what? What the hell do I say to me kids, Olivia and Kathy. Hi there has been a slight Fuck up I'm not dead, who wants pizza," he snapped.

"I'm not saying it will be easy, but I will be there with you. I will go and tell your kids and I will take George with me. The same as Olivia and the guys, I will explain everything to them."

"So when do I leave?"

"Whenever you're ready. The Feds just need to know where you want to settle so they can sort out a house for you. Believe me after what they have put you through, they owe you."

I don't know if I can do this Cap, what if my kids can't accept what happened, the fact I lied to them, what if they hate me?"

"Elliot they may be hurt, shocked angry at first but I think the fact you are still alive will override all of that."

"And Olivia?" he asked.

"Well I think Afghanistan might be safer," he smiled at him. Elliot smiled back.

"I have thought about her every day since I have been away….. I love her Don, and I should of told her before all this happened, that was my one of my biggest regrets. "

"Well now you will have all the time in the world to let her know how you feel."

"What's the point, look at me? What good am I to her, I'm useless."

"Hey! Fucking stop that!" yelled Cragen. "If you think she would turn her back on you cause you're in that fucking chair, then you don't know her at all. You're in that chair cause you done what you always do. You put a kid before your own safety, so I don't want to hear how useless you are, do you hear me?"

Elliot looked up at Cragen who was stood over him his face red from yelling, but he could see the tears in his eyes.

"Nothing that has happened or what is going to happen is your fault in anyway Elliot. You done what you had to do at the time to save you family and those you care about. Now all these people love and miss you so much, and they won't care that your legs don't work right now, they will just be glad your home and alive….. Do you hear me Stabler?"

Elliot smiled "Yeah Cap, I hear you. Do you know how good it is to hear you call me Stabler, I hated that name Shaw?" Cragen smiled at him and sat back in the chair.

"So I guess I should start packing." Said Elliot. "Not that I have much anyway."

"The Feds are sorting all the paperwork out for me and getting in touch with whoever they need to. I will come back in the morning and let you know what is happening and when I can get you out of here."

Thanks Cap," said Elliot holding his hand out for Cragen. Cragen ignored his hand and bent slightly giving Elliot a hug.

"You don't know how good it felt when they told me you were still alive Elliot, and its Don not Captain, well not just yet anyhow."

They broke apart and Cragen headed to the door "Merry Christmas Elliot," he said as he left.

Elliot picked up the photos and looked at them again; he couldn't believe he was going to see his Kids and Olivia very soon. He never thought he would see them again, and he couldn't quite get his head around it.

"Knock, Knock." He looked up and saw Mickey in the doorway. "Just thought I would come and check on you."

"Hey, I'm good thanks, really good," smiled Elliot. Mickey rolled over to him.

"What you got there?" he asked looking at the photos.

"You still got some of that drink left?" Mickey nodded. "Well go and grab it you may need it when I tell you what's happened.

Half an hour later Mickey just sat and stared at Elliot.

"Fuck me," he laughed downing his drink. "That is one total fucked up story Man."

"Yeah, but I'm going home and that's all I care about, I get to see my kids and loved ones."

"You nervous about that?"

"Scared as hell," he laughed. "But my Captain will be there, so I'm sure everything will be okay."

"I'm gonna miss you around here."

"Yeah well once I'm settled you will have to come and visit, plus we still have that bet for one year from now."

"Well here's to you Elliot Stabler," he said raising his mug. "Good Luck, man."

**Christmas day 2010 – New York.**

Olivia fell onto her couch and laughed as she heard Casey throwing up in her bathroom. She closed her eyes to stop the room spinning. She heard her phone beep and fished it out her bag squinting her eyes to read the message from Cragen.

_Hope you had a good day, sorry I let you down and wasn't there, Don._

Olivia smiled and text back.

_Day was good, Casey being sick in my toilet, I missed you though_

"God I feel like shit," groaned Casey as she came out the bathroom and slumped next to Olivia. "You okay?"

Olivia nodded and looked at the photo of her and Elliot on the table in front of her. Her hands went to the necklace the kids had gave her. "I miss him so much Casey."

"I know you do," she said putting her arm around her. "We all miss the hot headed, grumpy ass." Olivia laughed a little between the sobs.

"I loved him so much, I just want him back." She sobbed.

"I know you do sweetheart, but that isn't going to happen, I know it's hard but you need to try and let him go."

Olivia looked over at her "That's just it I cant. I have tried."

"Then you need to try harder, I know you loved him but he isn't coming back, it's not like he got transferred to another unit…" Olivia stood up. "He is dead Olivia, dead, he can't come back."

Olivia glared at her through the tears, "I think it's time you left."

"Liv don't do this."

"Don't. Liv me, just leave. Now!" Casey stood up and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry Olivia I just hate seeing you like this…."

"Just leave….please." Casey left leaving Olivia alone looking out the window. She looked up to the sky and wiped her tears away.

"I love El…..Always" she cried.

**Aaah poor Olivia never mind she will see him soon. I'm enjoying this story it seems so easy to write. I haven't forgot my other story I will be completing that hopefully this week. Keep the reviews coming.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the great feed back glad your liking the story.**

Chapter 5

**New Year's Eve 2010 – New York.**

Elliot pulled himself out of his wheelchair and onto the couch, and picked up his beer. It was New Year's Eve and he was stuck alone in the new apartment the FBI had set him up in. He couldn't complain it was modern and had plenty of space for his wheelchair they even put a gym in for him, and his physiotherapist came twice a day. It was only temporary until everyone close to him had been told about him. He had asked Cragen not to inform his kids, Olivia and Kathy until after the Christmas and New Year celebrations which Cragen had agreed to. His kids and Kathy were still staying with his mother until the tenth of January, so he had plenty of time to go and see them. His thoughts went to Olivia and how she would react to the news. He picked up the TV remote and flicked through the channels hoping to find a good film at least to watch to take away the boredom.

Cragen sat in his office and looked at the clock 7 hours till midnight. He looked into the squad room, his whole squad still there including Amero and Rollins the newest detectives to join his team. He climbed from his chair and opened the door.

"What are you lot still doin here, get yourselves out of here, enjoy the night, you aren't on call tonight."

"Don't need to tell me twice," said Rollins jumping up and grabbing her coat, Nick you want a lift home?"

"Sure" said Amero. "Olivia you need a ride?"

"No I'm good thanks, just need to finish up here then Casey and Melinda are picking me up."

"Okay, have a good night everyone," the called leaving the room.

"Erm John, Fin can I have a word please?" asked Cragen.

"Sure," the both said following there Captain into his office. The both stopped by Olivia who was packing up to go.

"Have a good night Baby Girl," said Fin kissing her cheek.

"Yeah try and behave," grinned Munch hugging her.

"I always do boys unless I'm with you two," she laughed.

She watched them go into Cragen's office and close the door and take a seat, she wondered what was so important he needed to speak to them before they left. She looked down at her phone that had just beeped and seen the text from Casey telling her to hurry up they were downstairs. She stayed at her desk and looked aver at Cragens office.

"Hey, what's up Cap?" asked Fin as the entered office. Cragen closed the door behind them.

"Take a seat," he told them and sat on the edge of the desk in front of them. "How has Olivia been lately?" he asked them.

The men looked at each before Munch spoke. "She has been pretty good Cap. She has good days and bad, but there have been more good than bad lately." Cragen nodded his head, and looked out the window and saw Olivia looking in the office.

"That's good, real good," he said. Munch looked at his Boss, as he got up from the desk and closed the blinds blocking out Olivia's view.

_"What the hell"_ thought Olivia as she saw Cragen look at her then close the blinds to his office, to stop her from seeing in. _"What is he talking about she thought."_ She sat for a while longer to see if Fin and Munch came out so she could find out what was going on. After half an hour and numerous text message form Casey, she finally left. But was determined to find out what was going on.

After Cragen closed the blinds he went back to sitting on the desk.

"Cap has something happened?" asked Fin.

"Yeah you could say that, and I don't know how Olivia will handle it, hell I don't know how any of you and going to handle it. Trust me it was hard for me."

"What is it Cap you're getting me worried now?" asked Fin.

Cragen took a deep breath and walked round to his draw and took out the bottle of vodka and poured two glasses hand them both a glass.

"You might want these when I tell you. I want you to know what I do tell you doesn't leave this office until I say so. The only reason I am telling the both of you is because Olivia is going to need you when I tell her." He looked at the both of them and saw their worried faces.

"How bad can it be Cap?" asked Munch?

"Oh it's not bad, not really….."

"Jesus Cap just say it," said Munch.

Cragen took a deep breath, "Elliot Stabler is alive." He looked at both men who just sat staring at him.

"Have you been drinking this vodka?" asked Fin. "What the hell you talking about, Stabler is dead he has been for years."

Cragen shook his head "he was put under protection by the FBI after a hit was taken out on him and his family."

"Fuck Me," said Fin drinking his drink in one go.

"I will second that," said Munch drinking his.

Cragen filled their glasses.

"What the hell happened Cap?" asked Fin.

Cragen went on to tell his two Detectives what had happened with Elliot over the last 2 and half years. Both men just sat in silence as the Captain told them the full story, shaking their heads at times.

"Where is he now, Don?" asked Munch.

"The FBI has put him up in an apartment until he decides where he wants to live. He wants to wait until I tell his Family and Olivia."

"So he is by himself on New Year's Eve?" asked Fin. Cragen nodded.

"I was going to try and get over to see him but I am stuck here." Munch and Fin looked at each and smiled both standing up. "That's what I was hoping," said Cragen giving them a piece of paper with his address on.

Elliot's head shot up when he heard the knock at the door, Cragen had rang him earlier to say he was stuck at the station tonight. He climbed into his chair and went to the door. He opened the door and looked up at the two men stood in front of him holding beer and tequila. They both looked at him with huge grins on their faces.

"You just gonna sit the stare or get the glasses?" asked Munch pushing past him.

"Yeah and you can get the pizzas ordered, I'm starving. I cancelled dinner with a gorgeous woman tonight, to come and spend New Year's Eve with your sorry ass." Smiled Fin walking in and putting the drinks on the counter. Elliot closed the door and turned his chair around and looked at the tow of them. He pushed his chair over to them.

"wha…..what…. I told…."

"Jesus Stabler you lose the use of your mouth as well as your legs," laughed Munch. He took the beer from Fin, who opened another bottle and handed it to Elliot.

"Cragen told us, Man," said Fin. "And we couldn't let you spend tonight alone, so here we are."

"Did he …. He hasn't told Liv has he?"

"No not yet, do you really think we would have got here first if he had told Olivia," laughed Munch. He walked over to Elliot and bent over hugging him, "It's so good to see you," he told Elliot.

"Yeah Man," said Fin hugging him after Munch moved, "Your looking pretty good for a dead dude."

Elliot looked at them and smiled wiping the tears in his eyes, "It's good to see you two as well," he told them, as he took a long drink from the bottle. They moved over to the table and Munch and Fin sat down and Fin poured them all tequila.

"Welcome back Stabler," said Munch and they knocked the drink back. "So come on tell us everything," he said as he poured another drink for them all.

An hour later Elliot had told them everything that had happened from when he left.

"Jesus El that's rough, I hope the hell you're going after the pricks at the FBI that fucked up. You haven't seen your Family and friends for nearly three years, you in a wheel chair, all because of them."

"I haven't really thought about it, all I want to do now is see my family and hope they don't hate."

"How can they hate you, they all love and miss you. I'm sure once they are told everything, things will be fine."

Elliot looked down at his drink, "How was Olivia, when she was told."

They both looked at each other then Elliot.

"She wasn't good at first, she took it really hard," said Munch. "But we were all there for her and her and Kathy really helped each and the kids."

Elliot smiled "Yeah so I heard."

"Elliot I don't know if Cragen told you but Kathy found someone else and remarried."

"I'm glad, she deserves to be happy. Our marriage was over well before I …"

"Died," grinned Fin.

"Yeah," laughed Elliot. "What about Liv?"

Munch grinned at Fin. "Told you," he said holding his hand out. Fin sighed and handed over $20.

"What was that for?" asked Elliot.

"I told Fin we would be here less than two hours before you asked about Olivia's love life and if she had met anyone."

"What? ….. No….I just want to know she is happy and she has met someone that makes her happy."

"Yeah whatever," laughed Munch. "Well to answer your question, no she isn't married and No she isn't seeing anyone. She hasn't since you …. You know, died or didn't die. All she has done is work and go out with Casey and Melinda."

"So now that's cleared up who's for pizza before the countdown to midnight?" asked Fin waving a menu.

**Jan 1****st**** 2011 – New York.**

"Jesus I feel like death," mumbled Fin his head resting on his desk. "What the hell did we drink last night?"

"What didn't we drink, I feel like a have brass band playing in my head." Moaned Munch taking some pain killers.

"Morning boys, looks like someone had a good night last night, what did you get up to?" asked Olivia.

Fin and Munch both looked at each other. "We, err just caught up with an old friend." Said Fin. "Had a bit too much to drink."

"Yeah I can tell that. If we get a call make sure neither of you two drive. Did you even get any sleep last night?" They both shook their heads and dropped them to the table as Cragen walked in.

"You two my office," he said to them. They both groaned and followed him in. Olivia sat at her desk watching them.

"So I take it you had a good night last night."

"Yeah, we think." Said Fin.

"How was he holding up?" Cragen asked looking out the window.

"Not too bad considering what has happened to him." Munch replied.

"Good…. That's good." Cragen looked out the window at Olivia who was looking into the office.

"You're going to have to tell her Cap," said Fin.

"Yeah I know, but how. How do I tell her the man she has mourned for 2 and half years is alive and well….."

"Beats me, but she needs to know." Said Fin following his stare.

"Listen why don't you guys go and keep Elliot company. Your no good to me in the state you're in and I'm sure Elliot is feeling just as bad and could use some help."

"I'm good with that." Said Munch.

They left the office and started to pack up their desks and get ready to go.

"Where you two going, is there something going on I should know about? First the Cap drags the two of you into his office last night, for a quiet word. Then today, we don't have any cases. Something is going on." said Olivia, leaning back on her chair.

"Erm no…. No, nothing is going on the Cap…. He just asked us to look into something." Said Fin.

"Yeah…..what?" Olivia smiled. She knew something was going and she wanted to know what.

"What? What?" asked Munch.

"What are you looking into?" she could tell they were starting to panic and she knew they were up to something.

"It's nothing much, he just asked us to look into….." said Fin looking at Munch for help.

"…..into an old case he worked on years ago. You know just when we are quiet." Filled in Munch. "Anyway we best go."

They grabbed their coats and left. Olivia looked round the office the place was quiet. She grabbed her coat and stuck her head into Cragen's office.

"Cap its quiet out here, I'm gonna pop out and get something to eat to try and soak up all the drink from last night."

Cragen smiled at her, "Sure no problem, just make sure your phone is on in case I need you." She nodded and quickly left the office and ran down the stairs to the parking lot. She looked round and saw Munch and Fin climbing into their car. She smiled to herself and jumped into hers. She knew they were up to something, and she was going to find out what. She followed their car for over 45 minutes until the finally pulled over in front of an expensive looking apartment block. She watched them climb out and walk up to one of the doors. They looked around quickly before they knocked and waited, and a few seconds later they walked in and the door closed.

"What the hell are you guys up," she asked herself. She sat in her car for over an hour, and nothing happened. Just then a car pulled up and a delivery guy got out with what looked like Chinese. He knocked on the door and Munch answered paying him. _"You gotta be kidding me; they are pulling a fast one and hiding away at a friend's house to get over a hangover."_ She thought to herself. She sat for a bit longer watching the door.

"Ah to hell with this," she said and climbed out the car and walked up to the door. She couldn't wait till the realised she had caught them out. They would be doing her paperwork for weeks to make sure she kept this from Cragen. She banged on the door and heard Fin say he would get it.

The door flung open and Fin just stood there opened mouthed. "L…Liv what… what the hell you doin here?" he asked. Pulling the door closed slightly as he stepped outside to meet her.

"Never mind what am I doin here. You really think Cragen isn't goin to realise you two just disappearing, can't believe you even told me you were doin a job for him."

"We are, and you need to leave now," he told her.

"Give it up Fin, you and Munch have come out here to get over your hangovers I seen the delivery guy."

Fin ran his hand over his head "Yeah….. Yeah, ok your right," he smiled. "You caught us, so why don't you head back to work, before you get in the shit with Cragen as well," he said taking her arm and trying to walk her away.

She looked at him "_That was way too easy,"_ she thought. _"They are definitely up to something,"_ She spun round and loosened his grip on her and barged into the door.

"Liv No!" he yelled trying to grab her arm, but it was too late and they both fell through the door together.

Olivia regained her balance and looked round the room. She looked at the man sat in a wheelchair at the table with Munch. Suddenly she went dizzy and felt sick.

"El," she whispered as she blacked out and fell to the floor.

**Next up Elliot and Olivia finally come face to face. Keep the reviews coming. This might be my last update for a couple of weeks. I am going away for two weeks with the Kids I volunteer with for their Annual camp and I don't know if I will have any internet there or anytime to write. So I apologise now for the delay in the next chapter. I will get it up as soon as I can.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the slight delay but as I said I am away with the Army Cadets and looking after a load of kids aged between 12 and 18 yrs. takes a lot of time. However I am on Guard Duty tonight so I am able to get some writing done and get this chapter finished. Going to stop with the jumping back and forwards for now as they are in the same time now. Hope you all enjoy**

Chapter 6

"Olivia come on baby girl open your eyes," said Fin gently tapping her cheek.

Olivia felt herself slowly coming around she opened her eyes and looked directly at Fin.

"What happened?" she asked him.

"You fainted, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she said rubbing her head. Fin watched her as she came around waiting for her to remember what she had seen. She looked at him straight in the eyes without looking round the room. "Was it real?" she asked. Fin nodded. She nodded back to him and slowly turned her head.

Elliot was still sat behind the table, Munch stood beside him. They stared straight at each other.

Elliot just sat in his chair, he didn't know what to say, she wasn't supposed to find out like this. Fin stood up and looked between Olivia, Elliot and Munch. Munch shrugged his shoulders as he watched Olivia and Elliot just staring at each other.

Olivia stood up, "You two" she said to Munch and Fin. "Get out," she ordered them.

"Olivia look…." Said Fin.

"I SAID GET OUT!" she yelled making them all jump.

Munch Looked at Elliot who nodded. Munch walked away and past Olivia, whose eyes had still never left Elliot. He and Fin looked back as they walked out the door. Once outside Fin took out his phone and called Cragen.

"Hey Cap we have a problem….." he went on to explain to Cragen what had happened.

"Where the hell are you two now?" he asked as he grabbed his jacket and car keys.

"Stood outside in the freezing cold," Fin told him.

"Well don't go anywhere, I'm on my way, if you hear anything too bad from in there go in, I don't want to have to go to Elliot's funeral again." He told them.

"You left me," she said. "You let me; your kids and Kathy think you were dead. I held your kids as they cried for you, for weeks…."

"Liv I'm sor…"

"Don't," she said interrupting him. "Don't you dare try and say fucking sorry, don't dare." She glared at him. She had never felt an emotion like this. She was angry, happy and shocked all at once. She wanted to run away, hit him and hold him.

"I…. I …. Don't know what I'm supposed to say." He was still sat at the table; Olivia was unable to see the wheel chair from where she was. "Don was going to tell you, he was going to explain everything before we seen each other."

She shook her head and walked away from him towards the window, she looked out and saw Munch and Fin waiting by the car.

"How could you just leave me, we were partners for 8 years didn't that mean anything to you."

"Liv…." She held up her hand to stop him.

"You let me think you were dead, you let us all think you were dead, for two and a half years I have visited your fucking grave every week Stabler." She kept her back to him as she talked. "How could you do that to all of us, you promised me we would always be partners and you broke that promise."

"Liv I done what I had to do. I done what I thought was for the best, you got to believe me the last thing I wanted to do was leave you and my kids."

She turned to face him tears running down her face. "But you did, you left us, you died, WE FUCKING BURIED YOU!" She picked up the lamp and threw it across the room towards him. He ducked and it flew over his head.

"Jesus fucking Chris!" he said as he sat up straight.

"You have no idea what it was like for us," she sobbed. Elliot felt his anger rising.

"You think I have no idea what it felt like. I had to leave because there was a hit out on me, and if they couldn't get me they were going for my kids and anyone else I loved. I had to fake my own death to stop you and my kids getting killed. I had to leave you all behind knowing you all thought I was dead. When I left I never thought I would ever come home again. I couldn't take any photos or anything with me, so don't tell me I have no idea what it was like. I lost five people I loved the day I had to leave."

Olivia glared at him, "I can't do this" she said. "I need to leave."

"Liv please, please don't go, we need to talk."

She shook her head "I can't ….I need time to think, I can't think straight…." She said dropping onto the couch and covering her face with her hands. "It's like a dream, this can't be happening. You must be a dream, your dead….your dead…..your dead," she repeated over and over.

Elliot wanted nothing more than to walk over and take her into his arms and hold her. He had thought about seeing her again since he left, thinking it would never happen. He would wake up during the night crying after dreaming about her and the kids. But he couldn't walk over to her, how could he tell her on top of everything else, that he couldn't walk.

"Please Liv just let me explain everything properly to you."

She stood up and looked at him, she saw the tears running down his face, it was the first time she had ever seen him cry. She wanted to hold him, to tell him how she felt, but she couldn't. She couldn't let herself believe it was real because she couldn't lose him again if he had to leave again.

"I'm sorry," she said turning to the door and walking out. She closed the door and leant back against it. She wiped her tears away and listened for his footsteps running after her. She waited for the door to open, for him to grab hold of her and tell her she wasn't going anywhere. She needed him to stop her from leaving. When she heard nothing she ran down the steps to her car. She saw Fin and munch jump out of theirs.

"Olivia stop!" shouted Munch. "What happened?"

"Just leave me alone" she cried as she jumped into her car and locked the doors, and pulled away speeding off down the street.

"Munch, follow her I will wait for Cragen and check on Elliot, don't let her out of your sight." Munch didn't need to be told twice and jumped back in his car and chased after her.

He followed her across town and watched her get out the car and go to the rear taking something out of the trunk before walking into the cemetery where Elliot's grave was. He followed her from a distance so she couldn't see him. she stood by Elliot's grave for a while looking down at it, before she swung her arm back with a tyre iron in it and smashed it against the headstone over and over. Munch ran forward to her.

"Olivia …stop!" he yelled. He grabbed hold of her arm as she raised it back again and took the tyre iron from her hands. "Olivia sweetheart, stop please."

"How could he John, how could he do that to me, to his kids?"

Munch spun her round and pulled her into his arms, "he had no choice Olivia. You need to listen to him, let him explain. He has been through hell the last 2 and half years especially the last few months."

Olivia sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I missed him so much, and I hated him for leaving me."

"I know you did, and I also know how much he hated going and leaving everyone behind. You're bound to be shocked, we were when Cragen told us, but he told us everything so it was less of a shock when we seen him."

"So tell me, tell me the full story of what happened, so I can understand it cause right now I feel like I'm dreaming."

"Okay but why don't we go somewhere warm and I will call Cragen to meet us."

Olivia nodded and they walked back to the car leaving the smashed up headstone behind.

"Elliot, what the hell happened?" asked Cragen when he arrived. Elliot shrugged and picked up a beer.

"El, man is that a good idea after the meds you have taken?" Elliot glared at him, warning him to back off.

"I guess walking into a room and seeing her dead partner was a bit too much for her to handle…. She hates me."

"No she doesn't, she's upset and confused, she needs time." Said Cragen.

"She doesn't even know I'm in this chair."

Cragen's phone rang. "Okay….. Yeah…..okay good, I will meet you there." he hung up and looked at Elliot. "It's Olivia she wants me to meet her to explain everything."

"Is she okay?" asked Elliot.

"She is upset, took it out on your headstone with a tyre iron. Munch managed to calm her down."

Elliot smiled "Could have been worse could have been my head."

"Fin you coming to?" asked Cragen.

"Nah I will stay with Elliot."

"It's fine Fin, what with the meds and beer I will be asleep soon. Go look after Liv."

Both men nodded, "I will see you tomorrow," Fin told him.

When they left Elliot finished his beer and took out the bottle whisky, he poured a large glass and downed it in one go, before pouring another. He was gonna need to get drunk to sleep tonight.

"He went back in the Marines? Why the hell would he do that?" asked Olivia.

"He needed to do something to help take his mind of everything not give him too much time to think, plus it was something he knew." Said Cragen. He looked at the Munch and Fin.

"What, what is it?" she asked, seeing the worried look on their faces. Cragen took a deep breath.

"Olivia …..Elliot was sent to Afghanistan. When he was there he stopped a young girl being raped by some men. As he was carrying her away from safety he was shot in the back."

Olivia looked at him confused. "But he is okay, I mean I saw him, he is fine."

"Liv," said Fin. "Elliot is in a wheel chair, he can't walk."

Olivia looked a Fin "but I just seen him he…..he…"

"He was sat in his chair you just couldn't see it." Olivia shook her head from side to side.

"He looked fine."

"He is apart from his legs, but he is getting physio, hopefully he will walk again. He isn't giving up." Said Fin.

"We all know how stubborn he is, he won't let this beat him." said Munch.

"Yeah, he even told me he managed to stand by himself so he is getting movement and strength back."

Olivia thought back to the room, how she had threw the lamp and he hadn't jumped up. When she left he hadn't followed now it all made sense. She stood up from the table.

"I need to go," she said grabbing her things.

"Liv…." Said Fin grabbing her hand.

"I'm fine, I will see you all tomorrow." She turned and left the Diner and jumped in her car, there was only one place she wanted, needed to be.

She knocked gently on the door to the apartment, after getting no answer she checked the door, it opened. She pushed it open and looked inside, all the lights were on and an empty bottle of beer lay on the floor.

"Elliot!" she called but got no answer. She closed the door and walked around the couch towards the other rooms. She pushed open the first door. Elliot was lying on the bed on his stomach and empty glass lay on the floor beside the wheelchair. She walked over to the bed and looked down at him and smiled as she heard him snoring gently. He was holding her photo in his hand. She turned off the bedroom light and kicked off her shoes and lay down on the bed beside him. She turned to face him and put her arm over his back and kissed his shoulder through his t-shirt.

"You're not alone now El, I'm here with you, we will do this together," she told him. He grunted in his sleep and moved slightly at her touch.

"Liv," he whispered and slightly slurred due to the alcohol.

"Yeah it's me El," she said.

"I missed you."

"I missed you to."

He moved onto his side and Olivia moved curling against his back and wrapping her arm around him. Feeling his hard musceled body under her arm. Elliot took hold of her hand and held it tight against his chest as he fell back asleep. Olivia listened to his steady breathing before falling asleep herself.

Elliot opened his eyes and just lay, he looked down and seen an arm around him, "Liv" he whispered to himself. It hadn't been a dream she had come back. He tried to turn over to face her gently but it was hard when he couldn't move his legs. Finally he was facing her; her eyes were closed, still asleep. He gently pushed her hair away from her face and dropped his head back to the pillow. He lay watching her sleeping. He couldn't believe she had come back and stayed with him. He ha dreamt of waking up next to her so many times.

"Quit staring Stabler," she said opening her eyes slowly. "How long you been awake?"

"Sorry and about 20 minutes….Liv why, when did you come back?"

"Ssshh," she said placing a finger to his lips. "Just know that I did. I don't want to talk, not right now; we have plenty of time for that."

"Okay"

"Go back to sleep its far too early to be up yet." She closed her eyes and ran her fingers down his cheek. "I still can't believe your actually alive and here."

"Well I am and I'm not going anywhere, ever again, I promise you."

"Don't El, don't make promises you may not be able to keep."

They looked into each other's eyes. "Go to sleep El." She said closing her eyes. Elliot watched her for a few more minutes before he drifted off to sleep.

They woke a few hours later their faces only inches apart, the tips of their noses touching.

"Morning," said Elliot his lips so close to Olivia's.

"Morning," she replied feeling his lips slightly brush hers. "We should get up."

"Yeah we should," he said his breathing getting heavy at how close they were without actually kissing. He pulled her body closer to him. "But I don't want to." His lips brushed hers again.

"Me either," she whispered goose pimples covering her body from the touch of his lips.

"Liv?"

"Mmmmm," she asked as her heart began to race.

"I….L…" they both jumped as Olivia's phone range and Olivia jumped up off the bed and grabbed her phone.

"Benson," she snapped. "What? No…..I'm fine I promise…no…. Munch stop. I'm with him now…what no you don't need to get him a new head stone, he is fine…." She looked down at Elliot on the bed and smiled. He smiled back it was a long time since he had seen her smile. "Okay see you guys in a bit and bring breakfast." She said hanging up. She looked down at Elliot. "Guess we do need to get up now."

"Yeah," he looked at Olivia and knew how close he had been to telling her he loved her. He was actually glad Munch had phoned and stopped him; he didn't want to scare her off so soon after getting her back. He knew something had nearly happened that morning they were so close to kissing.

"So?" said Olivia disrupting his thoughts. "How do we do this do you need a hand into the chair?"

"Nah I got it," he said pushing his way to the edge of the bed and lifting himself with ease into the chair. He looked up at her watching him and saw the sadness on her face.

"Hey, I will get out of this chair that is one promise I am going to make."

Olivia nodded finding it hard to hold back the tears. "It's just seeing you like that, it's hard."

"I know, but I wouldn't change anything that happened. I saved that little girl she has a new family and is happy, so me like this, is worth everything as long as she is okay. Now stop crying Benson and get the coffee made before Munch gets here. His coffee is the one thing I haven't missed."

"Okay…..but El, we need to talk about telling your kids and Kathy. They need to know as soon as possible before they go to visit your grave and find it smashed up."

"Okay we will, now I have you I feel like I can do anything."

"Benson and Stabler back together huh? God it sounds good to be able to say that." She smiled.

**I will try to update again as soon as possible but I can't promise anything. Don't forget to write a small review.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the delay, got back from Volunteer work at the weekend and had to go straight back to work. Hope you all enjoy the next chapter, don't forget to let me know what you all think.**

Chapter 7

Olivia made the coffee and sat next to Elliot at the table.

"I'm sorry about the way I went on yesterday," she said to him, looking down into her cup.

"Don't be Liv, I can't even imagine what you must have thought when you walked in and seen me sitting here."

"Yeah it was a bit much to take in. I have prayed every day to see you again." She said not looking up at him. "Once Don explained everything to me, including what happened in Afghan, I kinda calmed down. I know you only done what you had to do to keep your family safe," she looked at him and smiled slightly. "I guess you couldn't help yourself when you rescued that young girl."

"Yeah I guess the cop in me will always be there. But Liv I didn't only disappear to keep my kids and Kathy safe, I done it for you as well. I couldn't let anything happen to you cause of me." He reached across the table towards her and touched the necklace she was wearing. "Is that mine?" he asked her touching the medal on the chain.

"Yeah the kids found it and made it into a necklace for me, they gave it to me for Christmas….you don't mind do you?"

Elliot shook his head "No I don't mind, I don't mind at all. It's kinda nice that the kids thought about you…. I hear you and Kathy got quite close over the years."

"Yeah, we sort of stuck together to help the kids with your death. It was good for me as well it helped me stay close to you." she looked over to him. "You have no idea how hard it hit me El, losing you like that." He reached over and took her hand as he saw the tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I had to put you through all that Liv, but I honestly thought at the time I had no other choice. All I knew was I had to protect you and my kids I couldn't let any harm come to you."

"I know El….. It's just I never got the chance to tell you things and then you were gone, taken from me. I was hurt, angry and upset all at once….. I fell apart for a while. Then at your funeral I realised the kids needed me and it gave me something to focus on."

"I know…" he told her. "I saw you holding Dickie at the graveside."

"You…You were there?"

"Yeah, it was my final chance to see you all before I left, at one point you turned and looked straight at the car, I thought you had actually seen me."

Olivia smiled slightly "I had a strange feeling someone was watching us, I can't explain it I just knew something wasn't right."

Elliot grabbed her hand harder "It was so hard to drive away and leave you all, leave you Liv, like you I had so much I wanted to say, that I never got round to saying."

"Like what?" she asked him.

Elliot shook his head as they heard the knock on the door "That can wait for another time," he smiled pushing himself away from the table and heading to the door. He opened it and Munch, Fin and Cragen walked in.

"Breakfast is here," grinned Munch lifting up a bag.

They all ate, talked and laughed as they caught up on the last two and a half years before Fin and Munch headed off to the precinct. Olivia excused herself after asking Elliot if it was okay if she took a shower. Once they were left alone Cragen turned to Elliot.

"So, how are you holding up?" he asked.

"I'm good… especially now Liv knows, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted having her by my side."

Cragen smiled "That's good Elliot; I must admit I have never seen her looking that happy for a long time."

"Yeah, well we have a lot to talk about, but we don't need to rush things, I'm not planning on going anywhere."

"I just don't want her hurt anymore Elliot."

"I Won't Don I promise, the last thing I want to do is cause her anymore hurt." Elliot looked down at his hands resting on the table, "Munch and Fin told me she didn't have anyone in her life?" he said not looking up.

Cragen smiled "They were right she hasn't dated or seen anyone since your death."

Elliot nodded "Do you know why?"

"That's a question you need to ask her," he told him.

Elliot looked towards the bathroom and heard the shower still running "Don, I ….I loved her, I still love her. Before I left I tried so many times to tell her how I felt. But something always got in the way. I mean I always cared for her, but something changed over the years, and I fell in love with her, but I couldn't tell her cause I was married. Then me and Kathy got divorced and I was going to tell her then, but I know Liv she would have blamed herself for me and Kathy splitting, so I kept my feelings to myself, I was just waiting for the right time, I guess I waited a little too long."

Cragen stood up and poured them both another coffee. "You have time now, just don't muck things up, her heart was broken when she thought she had lost you, I don't want her hurt again."

They heard the door to the bathroom open and Olivia came out dressed and drying her hair, "I'm gonna have to go home and grab some clothes sometime today, I can't live in these ones if I'm staying here with you." she told them, looking at Elliot. Elliot looked at her, a look of shock on his face. "What you think I'm just goin to go home and leave you here alone."

"I don't know, I just thought, you know….."

"Like I said El we are in this together now and I am here for you, to help in any way I can, your still my partner and best friend, I aint going anywhere."

Cragen handed her a coffee and they both sat at the table Olivia sitting as close as she could to Elliot.

"We need to decide how we are going to tell Kathy and the Kids," said Cragen.

"Well they are still at your mams," Olivia told Elliot, "They aren't going back to Florida till next week." Olivia looked at Elliot. "El, Kathy remarried last year…."

"Yeah I know the guys told me, I'm glad she deserves to be happy, do the kids like him?"

"Yeah they do, he treats them well, and he has never tried to take your place. The kids talk about you all the time to him, he is really good with them, and he encourages them to talk about you."

"That's good," he smiled but Olivia could tell he was upset. She reached up and turned his head towards her cupping his cheek.

"Hey, he may be good with them, but you're their dad, it's you they miss every night and morning." She wiped the tear from his cheek.

"Liv they think I'm dead… they think I died, what if they hate me for leaving them, for lying. What if they want nothing to do with me? I don't know if I could handle that."

Cragen stood up and moved into the other room to give them some time alone. Neither of them realised he had gone they were so focused on each other.

"El, I'm not gonna lie, and say everything will be okay, it's going to be hard on them. Look how I reacted. But they will accept what happened and they will calm down, they love you and miss you, and to know their Dad isn't dead….. I will be there with you the full time by your side, I won't leave you, I promise."

Elliot sniffed and felt Olivia wipe the tears away "You promise you will stay with me."

"I promise, I'm not going anywhere," she told him as the space between them got smaller.

"Good, cause I don't think I can do this alone," he said as their foreheads touched. "I have been alone the last two and half years, I can't go through that again."

"I lost you once, I'm not letting you out my sight again," Olivia whispered, her mouth centimetres away from Elliot's.

"God I missed you," he said as his lips brushed against hers.

"I missed you to," she replied as their lips met and they kissed softly and gently. Olivia pulled back a smile on her lips. "Wow," she said, her gaze never leaving Elliot.

"Yeah…. My thoughts exactly," he smiled back. "Punch me," he told her.

"What?" she asked him.

"Punch me, I need to know that wasn't a dream that we really did kiss. I have dreamt of kissing you for years, but every time it happened…."

"You woke from the dream." She finished for him.

"Yeah."

"Me too I have had that same sort of dream since the night Cragen told us you had gone."

"I think we should do it again," he grinned. "You know just to make sure it actually happened."

"Sounds good to me," she sighed into his mouth as their lips met again, parting slightly as Elliot ran his tongue over her lower lip tasting her, before slipping his tongue in to meet hers. They pulled apart slightly. "You don't know how many years I have been waiting to do that, to feel your lips on mine."

"I know I have wanted to do it since the day I met you," he smiled leaning forward and capturing her lips again, now he had finally tasted her he didn't want to stop.

"Ahem!" said Cragen. They both pulled apart and looked at their Captain the smiles still on their faces. "As much as I hate to interrupt, we need to decide how we are going to tell Kathy and the kids."

Olivia looked at Elliot "I will do it," she told him. "I mean with you Cap, we will do it together. Kathy and I have got quite close, I think we should tell her and Elliot's mam first and then all of us tell the kids."

Elliot nodded "I think that would be best."

Cragen nodded "Make the call, the sooner everyone knows the easier it will be, asked her to meet you at your apartment." Olivia nodded and took out her phone and found Kathy's number.

"Hey Kathy," she said standing up from the table and walking to the window. "Yeah everything is good….. No I just went out for a few drinks…sound good….. Listen, I need to talk to you and Bernie, alone…. I can't explain over the phone….. No nothing is wrong with me, why don't you meet me at my apartment about six this evening and I will explain everything then….. Okay will see you then, bye Kathy." Olivia hung up and put her phone on the table. "Now we just wait," she said smiling at Elliot, who just nodded.

Cragen left and told Olivia he would meet her at her apartment later that day.

"So what we going to do now?" asked Elliot. "It's not like we can go out, I can't risk anyone seeing me until the kids are told."

"I don't know, what do you fancy doin?" she asked her eyes lighting up and walking towards him. "I could think of a few things we could do to pass the time." She bent over and kissed him again hard and passionately.

"Oh you can, can you?" he grinned back. "Maybe we should get more comfy then." He said as he wheeled himself to the couch and pushed himself out of his chair. Olivia smiled and followed him and straddled his legs keeping her weight off his legs.

"Is this okay?" she asked him, scared in case she hurt him.

"Its fine Baby," he told her as he placed his hands on her hips and pulled her to him. She dipped her head and kissed him, slowly first then turning harder and more passionate. Elliot ran his hands softly up and down her back over the top of her thin shirt. He heard her moaning into his mouth. Olivia began running her hand down his chest, feeling his hard chest and abs under his t-shirt. She lifted the bottom of his t-shirt and moved her hands underneath.

"God you feel so good," she mumbled as she gently sucked and licked and his neck. She moved back slightly and moved her hand to the waistline of his sweats and was about to move her hand inside when She felt Elliot's hand grip her wrist.

"Liv, wait" he gasped.

"We have waited over ten years; I don't want to wait any longer."

"LIV STOP!" he yelled and pushed her off him. She fell to the side and rolled off the couch landing on the floor. Elliot reached forward and grabbed his wheelchair pulling it to him and climbed in.

Olivia stood up right and looked at him, shocked, hurt and angry at the way he pushed her away.

"What the hell is wrong?" she asked him. "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No….. No you did….. Everything is, you did nothing wrong." He stammered.

"So why did you stop me, why did you push me away?"

Elliot turned his chair away unable to look at her "Maybe we should slow things down a bit, take our time."

"El we have been waiting for this for years, it's not like we have just met and don't know each other. I want you so much, are you saying you don't feel the same"

"Yeah I know that, and I do feel the same, but…"

"But what? What is it…...?"

"Liv look at me," he said spinning round in his chair. "I'm stuck in this fucking chair…."

"So…. You think that bothers me, I love you El no matter what, and I want to be with you. I don't care that you're in that chair. I fell in love with for the person you are in here" she said tapping her chest.

Elliot looked at her holding back the tears, "and I love you to."

"So what is the problem?" she asked him closing the gap.

"I… I don't know if I can," he said not looking at her. "I don't know if I'm able to have sex, I don't know if everything works, alright!" he told her, starting to get angry. "Since I was shot I have never you know… had an erection."

"El ….." she said reaching for his hand.

"Don't!" he snapped. "Don't pity me… look, maybe we should just forget everything, the kiss everything, I'm sorry but I can't do this… just leave." He spun his chair around and left Olivia stood alone as he went into his room and slammed the door. Olivia just stood staring at the closed door.

_"What the hell"_ she thought. _"What just happened."_ she shook her head as if it would help her understand everything. She felt the tears stinging her eyes and walked over to the closed door. She tapped gently and waited for him to answer.

"El…" she called through the door. "I know you can hear me….. Please let me in." She waited for a reply and was met with silence. "El open the fucking door and stop being stupid!" she yelled kicking the door.

"Liv please, just leave, I can't do this." he told her. Olivia could hear he was crying.

"El please…. I love you, and I know you love me, just open the door so we can talk…please don't do this." She listened but heard nothing. "El I understand you're worried and scared, I am as well. But I told you I wasn't going anywhere and I mean that, we are in this together, no matter how much you try and push me away. I thought I lost you two and a half years for ever, there is no way I am letting you go and losing you again. If there is something wrong then we will work through it." She placed her hand on the door and dropped her head against it. "I fell in love with you Stabler years ago, I fell in love with you before I even touched, held or kissed you. I fell in love with you when you were someone else's and I had to watch you going home to her every night. I don't need sex to know I want to spend the rest of my life with you." she stepped back from the door. "I will give you some time as I have to go and meet Kathy, but I will be back and we will talk about this….. I love you El." She said walking away from the door and wiping her tears away.

She pulled her phone out her pocket and found Haungs number as she walked out the front door.

"Hey George it's Liv, I need you to talk to El… No he doesn't know I have asked you, but he needs your help….. I will be away most the day, he will be alone, so if you could…..Okay thank you." she said hanging up. She knew El would be angry at her but she had to try and do something she couldn't lose him again.

**How will Kathy and Bernie take the news, and what will happen when Liv gets home after Elliot has been visited by Haung.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay I'm not a doctor and don't pretend to be, so if I'm talking rubbish about Elliot's injuries I apologise now. But this is only fiction and my story so I write how I would like it lol. Please enjoy.**

Chapter 8

Olivia got into her car and slammed the door shut.

"God Dammit El!" she yelled to herself, slamming her hands on the steering wheel. Her body was shaking in anger, how could he do this to them, how could he not even give them a chance. She rested her head back against the seat and sighed. She understood he was scared and worried, but to just tell her to go and lock himself in his room. Did he not realise how much she loved him. She didn't care he was in a wheelchair she had him back and that's all she cared about…. He was alive. The longer she sat in the car the angrier she go at the way he had reacted, he hadn't even gave them a chance.

"Fuck you Elliot Stabler," she cursed getting out the car and heading back to the apartment.

Elliot had listened as she left the apartment. He knew he should have gone after her, but he just let her leave. He sat quietly as he realised he may have just ruined any chance of a life with her, but what type of life could he give her. What if he never walked again, he couldn't expect her to put up with him in this chair for the rest of his life. And what about sex if he couldn't do that, she would go to someone else who could in the end, no he was best to end it. He should never have kissed her in the first place. She deserved more, someone better than him. He pulled open his bedroom door and wheeled himself out into the living room just as the front door swung open and Olivia stormed in.

"Liv…." He said, shocked she was back. "I told you to leave."

Olivia never spoke as she walked up to him. The look she had on her face Elliot thought he was about to get punched by her, and if she did, he deserved it. She stood in front of him and stared at him.

"You don't get to tell me what to do anymore," she told him as she started to unbutton her shirt.

"Liv….." he said as he threw the shirt on the floor. Elliot watched her as she reached back and undone her bra and threw it down next to her shirt. Elliot swallowed hard as he looked at a half-naked Olivia Benson stood in front of him, he had never seen anything so beautiful. Before he could say anything else she bent over and grabbed his face kissing him hard. Elliot tried to push her away but she stood her ground her lips never leaving his, finally he gave in and kissed her back, he ran his fingers through her hair pulling her towards him, she moved so she was straddling his legs. As much as he knew he should stop her he couldn't, he loved her too much, the feel of her lips on his, her almost naked body so close to him. Olivia took hold of his hand and moved it up to her breast. Elliot tried to resist but couldn't and he cupped it and felt her hard nipple push against the palm of his hand, as he began to gently massage her. Olivia moaned into his mouth at his touch. He felt Olivia's hand moving to his groin and grab hold of him, he grabbed her wrist to try and stop her as she massaged him through his trousers. He felt his heart rate begin to rise at her touch. The hours he had lay alone thinking about this moment especially in Afghanistan. But he couldn't, he couldn't do this, he would only hurt her in the end. As much as he loved her she deserved more.

"Liv please…." He begged her breaking the kiss and looking into her eyes. "Don't do this, I can't…."

Olivia stood up and looked down at him grinning at him as she licked her lips. Elliot looked at her confused by her reaction, as she picked up her shirt and began putting it on, she picked up her Bra and put it in her pocket.

"Now tell me you don't want this and can't feel anything," she said looking down at his groin. "I will be back later after I speak to Kathy to finish what we started." She blew him a kiss and walked out the door slamming it behind her.

Elliot looked down and saw the bulge in his trousers "What the hell," he thought. He hadn't even realised he was getting hard. He shook his head and took a deep, shaky breath, going through what just happened. He hadn't been able to get an erection since he was shot, no matter how much he tried, he was sure he couldn't, but looking down he realised just how wrong he was.

Olivia sat on couch and looked of the photo she had of Elliot and smiled. She had him back and he loved her, no matter how much he tried to push her away. She knew it was hard on him after everything that had happened, but she would be there for him no matter what. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, she looked at her watch it was too early for Kathy and Bernie. She opened the door.

"Don, what you doin here so early?"

"We need to talk." He said walking into her apartment. She followed him back in.

"What's happened?"

"Hannah Wethers rapist has been re-arrested he is due in court next week. They want Elliot to testify against him, they hope this time he will get sent down with Elliot's testimony."

"What, they can't expect Elliot to stand up in court after everything that has happened, he has only just got back, and he isn't in the right frame of mind."

"Well we need to make sure he is ready, that little girl has been through hell the last two years, she tried to kill herself twice Olivia, no child should go through that…. That isn't all Arnold Wethers wants a meeting with Elliot."

"They guy who put out a hit on him, who made him leave me and his family wants to meet him, no way…. It aint going to happen." She told him.

"Olivia he knows what he done was wrong, look what has happened to his niece because of that. The guy left the Brotherhood after what happened, apparently he has changed. We can't force Elliot but we need to let him know, then it's his choice if he goes to the meeting."

"Don it could all be too much for him."

"We have to give him the choice. However he has no choice for the court case, I will arrange to get the old case files to him so he can start going over them."

Olivia nodded knowing she didn't have much choice. She went into the kitchen and put some coffee on for them.

"I was going to order some pizza, you want some?" she asked him. "Before Kathy and Bernie get here."

"Yeah sure, that would be good. How was Elliot when you left him, how was he feeling."

"Oh he felt pretty good," she smiled handing her boss a pizza menu.

Elliot grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge after his work out, he was heading for a shower when he heard a knock at the door. He looked at the clock it couldn't be Liv, it was too early.

He pulled open the door and just looked at the man who was stood there.

"Elliot, how are you?"

"Liv," said Elliot sighing, and shaking his head.

"I'm sorry…."

"Liv, she called you didn't she?"

"Does it matter who called me, I would have come over soon anyway, you know that." Said Haung.

"You better come in then," said Elliot pushing himself away from the door. "Can I get you a drink?"

"No I'm good thank you," said Haung following Elliot to the kitchen. "So why do you think it was Olivia who called me and asked me to come over."

"Just a hunch."

"Something must have happened for you to think it was Olivia straight away, why not Don, Fin or Munch, they have all spent time with you?"

Elliot looked up at Huang " Maybe because I never kissed any of them, declared my undying love and then threw them out the apartment when they got to close to me cause I was scared."

"You were scared of Olivia?"

"What no!... I'm not scared of Olivia." Elliot glared at him he hated shrinks and Haung knew this. "Look I have my own shrink that I see, so thanks for coming but I don't need you."

Haung smiled at him "Actually I am you're …..Shrink. The Marines past all your details onto me, as your no longer with them. Plus you never actually kept any of your appointments with him did you."

"Great that's all I need on top of everything else" he sighed. "You back inside my head."

"Elliot, I read through all the notes I was sent, about you since you were shot, it tells me everything about the treatment you have been given, all your operations, the physiotherapy you have been getting and all your interviews with your physiatrists."

"Yeah and…..?"

"Elliot….. Why are you still sat in that chair."

Elliot looked at him and laughed "You are joking right, I was shot in the fucking back, and I can't move my legs."

"They repaired the damage that was done to you, the swelling has reduced, your notes said you should be more mobile now, at least standing up and walking with crutches."

Elliot glared at him "What the fuck, you think I want to be in this chair, don't you think I want to get out of it, walk again."

"You tell me. According to your medical file, they can find any reason why you're not doing a lot better."

"Look I… I try, I'm doing everything I should be doing, it's not my fault I can't get them to fucking work," he said looking down at his legs. George sat down facing Elliot.

"Do you want know what I think?" he asked him.

"Do I have a choice," sighed Elliot not looking at him.

"I think you gave up. After you were shot you had nothing to live for anymore. You were injured and alone, no family, no friends… no partner to help you through it. So you gave up. Then you got moved to the Rehab Hospital and you had a family again, you made friends, and you didn't want to leave. You have convinced yourself your legs didn't work so you could stay there, but there is nothing medically wrong with you. Your legs maybe weak and you do need the physio to help strengthen them, but all your problems are here…" he said tapping his head. "You say you're doing everything to walk again, yet you never done any real physio work on your legs only your upper body. Every time you had your sessions you found a reason as to why you couldn't do anything, or you done your exercises but without any effort. "

Elliot didn't look at him, he couldn't. "I… I'm scared, alright" he admitted. "I'm scared I won't be able to go back to how I was before the accident, nobody expects anything from me."

"So you thought staying in the chair would be easier?"

Elliot shrugged "I don't know, all right, I'm a coward, what do you want me to say. Don't you think I hate myself right now. Do you think I want my kids to see me like this. Liv wanted to make love this morning and I freaked out, I don't know what to do. I never thought I would see them again, so I didn't care."

"Let people help you Elliot, let me and your doctor's help you, there is nothing stopping you from walking again. Sure you may not be chasing Perps across roofs as fast as you used to," he smiled. "But we can get you walking."

Elliot nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"So when do we start?" he asked.

"We already have and I must admit it was a lot easier than I thought it would have been." Elliot looked at him confused. "You admitting your scared was your first step, the rest will be easy."

"Huh you think so," said Elliot.

"Yeah I do, can I ask one more thing, and then I will leave you for the day."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Why did you freak out with Olivia and throw her out this morning?"

"We were….we kissed and Olivia went to take things further and I freaked out. I panicked I wouldn't be able to … to you know, get an erection. I haven't been able to you know get hard since before I was shot. So I yelled at her to get out and forget everything."

"And that's when she called me."

"I guess, but she came back not long after she left."

"And what happened? Did you fight again?"

"Erm not exactly….she….. God she will kill me if she finds out I told you."

"Elliot you know whatever you say is between just us."

Elliot took a deep breath "She stripped off, kissed me, made me touch her, the grabbed me and rubbed me. She didn't give me time to think, everything happened so fast."

"And what happened?"

"She walked out leaving me hard and frustrated." He smiled. "I guess she was still pissed at me."

Haung smiled and stood up "See all you need to do is stop thinking so much." He started walking towards the door. "If you need me just call, however I will be back in a couple of days to see you again, and I have arranged for a new physiotherapist. He starts first thing in the morning. He is one of the best I know and is doing me a favour by helping you, he will have you up and walking in no time."

"Thanks Doc," said Elliot as he got to the door. Haung nodded and left. Elliot looked down and looked at his legs. He tried to move them but couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, he sighed and headed off into the bathroom for his shower.

Cragen looked at Olivia as she paced back and forwards. "Olivia you need to calm down," he told her.

"I'm sorry, I'm just worried about how this is going to go."

"At least they are getting told and not just bursting into a room and seeing him sitting there." he smiled.

"True," she smiled back. Before she could speak again the buzzer went. "Hey Kathy come on up," she said into the speaker. "You want to get the whisky ready we may need it." A few moments later there was a knock at the door. Olivia opened it and smiled.

"Hey Kathy, Bernie come on in, thanks for coming."

"It's okay," said Kathy. "What is so important?" she asked.

"Why don't we take a seat, can I get you both a drink?"

"Sure a wine if you have it," said Kathy.

"Same here Dear," said Bernie as they took a seat. Kathy looked round and seen Cragen for the first time.

"Captain Cragen, I didn't see you there," said Kathy.

"Please its Don, how many times do I need to tell you," he smiled.

"What's going on?" asked Kathy, she wasn't daft, and she knew something was up. Olivia handed them their drinks then sat on the coffee table in front of them and took a deep breath.

"I…. we have something we need to tell you," she said looking up at Cragen. "Its….. It's about Elliot and his accident…. It Erm it….."

"It wasn't an accident was it," said Kathy. "You have new evidence that proves he wasn't to blame don't you… I knew it, I knew he wouldn't of been driving dangerously, I knew he wasn't to blame." Kathy looked at Bernie as she spoke and Bernie nodded.

"He was always a safe driver, I always thought there was something not right with the accident report." Said Bernie.

Olivia looked at Cragen for help. "There is a little more to it…." said Cragen.

"What do you mean, please don't tell me he was murdered, it wasn't done on purpose, who would do that."

"No, he wasn't murdered, he…. He is…..look I don't how else to say this so I will just come out with it…."

"He isn't dead," said Bernie. Kathy turned her head and looked at her, and saw Bernie smiling.

"Bernie? Of course he's dead…. We went to his funeral." Kathy looked back at Olivia. "Tell her Liv, Elliot is dead…."

Olivia shook her head "No, no he isn't Kathy, he is still alive…. He was in witness protection."

"I always had a feeling my boy was alive, something never sat quite right with me the way he was supposed to have died, and maybe that's why I never visited his grave."

"He's alive," said Kathy looking at Olivia.

Olivia nodded "Yes he's alive, I…."

Olivia didn't even see Kathy move until she felt her hand connect with the side of her face, snapping her head to the side. "You bitch!" she screamed. "How could you let us all think he was dead all this time, the kids were in pieces after his funeral, they cried themselves to sleep for months. You cried with them and all this time you knew he was alive, we invited you into our family."

Olivia sat there shocked unable to speak.

"Kathy," said Don trying to get her attention. "Kathy, Olivia didn't know until yesterday, I didn't know until just before Christmas."

"You expect me to believe that none of you knew about this," she yelled as she got up and paced the room.

"The FBI put him into witness protection, we knew nothing about it, we couldn't. I got the call to tell me he was dead just as you did. I swear none of us knew."

Kathy looked at Olivia "You didn't know?" she asked her.

"No, I swear. I followed Munch and Fin yesterday and burst into the room and seen him. I passed out from the shock," she told her. "If I had known he was alive I would never have kept that from you and the kids."

Kathy nodded "I'm sorry," she said touching the red mark on Olivia's face.

"It's okay, why don't you sit down so we can explain everything," Kathy nodded and sat down again next to Bernie, who was still smiling. "You okay Bernie?" asked Olivia.

"Never better, how is he?"

Cragen came over with three whiskies and handed them to the three women "It's a long story," he said before sitting next to Olivia.

"We want to know everything," said Kathy.

Elliot looked at his phone it was ten thirty and he still hadn't heard a thing from Olivia or Cragen. He wanted to call but knew it would be best to just wait from them. He got a beer from the fridge and took a drink and heard the door open. He spun round and saw Olivia walk in.

"How, how did it go?" he asked putting his beer down. Olivia smiled at him and moved out the way of the door as Kathy walked in behind her.

"Elliot…." She sobbed as she ran towards him.

"Hey," he said not able to think of anything else to say as she flung her arms around him and held him tight.

"I can't believe it's really you, your alive." Elliot put his arms around her and hugged her back.

"I'm sorry for everything," he said holding her tight. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," she sniffed. "Don and Olivia told us everything, you have nothing to be sorry for." She pulled back and looked down at him stroking his face. "There is someone else here to see you," she said standing to one side.

Elliot looked past her and seen his Mom stood in the doorway.

"Mom," he said his voice cracking slightly as he pushed the chair towards her. She walked to meet him and put her hands either side of his face and kissed him softly.

"I knew you couldn't be dead, son. Deep down I knew there was something not right."

"I missed you Mom, I'm so sorry for everything that happened before I went away.."

Bernie shook her head and out a finger to his lips. "Everything is forgotten," she said hugging him. "I have my baby boy back and that's all I care about," she said hugging him tightly as Elliot cried holding her tight.

Olivia and Kathy looked at each and smiled as they watched Elliot and his Mom.

"Guess it's just the kids to tell now," said Kathy.

"Yeah, do you want me there when you do it?"

"Olivia your family, of course I want you there, I need you there. I have a feeling they are going to take this news a lot different than we did."

"Yeah, you could be right. You want a drink?" she asked her walking to the kitchen leaving Elliot and his Mom alone.

"Sure anything alcoholic will be fine." Olivia poured out two glasses of wine and handed one to Kathy. "So, you and Elliot have you told him how you feel about him yet?"

Olivia's ace went a slight shade of red as she took a drink. "Yeah we kind of talked about it this morning."

"And does he feel the same?"

Olivia nodded "I hope this doesn't change things between us now, our friendship."

"Olivia, I knew I had lost Elliot to you years ago, we were divorced six months before he left, I couldn't believe it when I found out you two never got together. Believe me I am fine with it, and I am happy for you both."

"Thank you," smiled Olivia looking over to Elliot and his Mom as they sat talking, holding hands. "At least some good has come out of all this."

"Yeah, I tried for years to get them two to talk, without any luck, it's so nice to see."

Olivia and Kathy stood talking in the kitchen while Elliot and Bernie talked in the living room, before Kathy and Olivia joined them to discuss telling the kids.

Kathy looked at her watch "We best be going its late," she said standing. She kissed Elliot on the cheek "I will see you tomorrow," she told him before heading to the door after hugging Olivia.

Bernie hugged him tight "I love you son," she said kissing his forehead.

"I love you to Mom."

After waving them off Olivia closed the door and looked at Elliot this was the first time they had been alone since that morning.

"I'm sorry," he said looking at her. "I got scared and …."

"El, I'm tired, it's been a long day and I don't feel like talking."

Elliot nodded "Okay…..sorry." he said looking deflated and like he was about to cry. Olivia walked towards him and stopped by his side and put her hand on his face pulling his head up to look at her.

"I will be waiting for you in bed," she told him kissing him lightly on the lips. "Don't be long." She said walking off to the bedroom.

**Don't forget to review.**

**How excited was I when Chris Meloni came back to Twitter made my weekend lol**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay I had to make a decision, keep the story at the lower rating or move it up to M rated. Me being me decided I really needed to start with the naughty stuff, however I realise some people don't like this so I am doing two versions of the story. It will carry on here as normal ( No Smut) but I have also posted the story under the M rated stories. This way people can chose which they want to read. Here is the link for the M rated story.**

Chapter 9

Olivia undressed down to her panties and pulled a t-shirt over her head to sleep in. She went into the bathroom brushed her teeth and climbed back into bed. It had been ten minutes now since she had told Elliot she was going to bed and she hadn't heard anything from the other room. She sighed and lay back maybe she had been to forward with him earlier today, maybe he wasn't ready to take the relationship any further…maybe he had been speaking the truth when he said they shouldn't have kissed. Suddenly she felt sick to her stomach when she thought about what she had done earlier. The way she had come back in stripped off and forced his hands on her, as she touched him

"What the hell did I do?" she asked herself.

She pulled the sheet back and sat up, reaching across for the clothes she had removed and put on a chair and started to dress.

"What you doin?" asked Elliot making her jump. She hadn't heard the door open and she had her back to the door.

"I'm sorry; I should have just left when Kathy did…. I shouldn't have stayed." She started to pull her jeans on, not looking at Elliot.

"Liv…"

"No its fine, I shouldn't have done what I done earlier. You asked me to stop and to leave, and I ignored you, Christ I forced myself on you, you said you didn't want to and yet I still came back and done it."

She sat not moving "I actually assaulted you, I sexually assaulted you." The more she thought about what she had done the more she hated herself.

"Liv don't say that, you know that's not true." He wheeled himself round to the end of the bed so he could see her face. "Liv look at me."

She shook her head "If the roles had been reversed and you came back to me, stripped off and made me touch you…." she shook her head. "I'm so sorry; I should never have done that. You…. you must hate me." She put her shoes on and grabbed her coat, and stood to leave. Elliot moved his chair to block her.

"Liv don't do this, I don't hate you, and you did nothing wrong…"

"Elliot move out the way."

"No, not until you calm down. You're not thinking straight." She went to push past Elliot and he moved his chair to block her.

"I forced myself on you and you say I done nothing wrong, just let me go," she pushed him back in his chair and moved quickly past him.

"Damn it Liv," he said spinning his chair round and chasing her out the room. "Just stop, will you."

"No I need to go, I will help Kathy tell the kids tomorrow, then I will be out of your life for good…..Damn it where the fuck are my keys!" she yelled. Elliot moved so he was between her and the door.

"Liv, calm down….please Baby. You did nothing wrong. You done what needed doin I was being stupid. I was scared and I was pushing you away." Olivia continued to look for her keys. "I love you, and I was stupid before, when I said it was all a mistake I was lying."

Olivia continued to search for her keys. "You needed to show me I was wrong and believe me you did. Do you know how long I have wanted to see you like that…" he realised his words weren't getting through to her. She had convinced herself she was in the wrong. "LIV FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP!" he yelled as she found her keys and turned to face him.

"I will see you tomorrow," she said as she went to walk past him without looking at him keeping her eyes fixed to the floor. Elliot pushed his chair back against the door, blocking her exit. "Elliot move."

"No, I'm not letting you leave like this, how many times do I have to say it before you believe me, you did nothing wrong….. Liv you showed me what I wanted. I was scared I wouldn't be able to give you what you needed, I thought I wasn't man enough for, I thought you deserved more." She stood still looking down at the floor. "I can't remember the last time I felt so alive, as I did when you came back. The way you kissed me, when you touched me, it was sexy as hell Liv…. Jesus it was amazing. It was like fireworks going off….. I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted you at that moment in time. "

Olivia sniffed and wiped her eyes, but still refused to look at him. Elliot moved away from the door and spun to face her again.

"I want to be with you Liv, I love you more than I thought possible. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I still don't know if I am able to make love properly and how I will actually manage to do it, but I want to try more than anything, and I want to try with you and only you. It's you I have thought about for the last two and half years, it's you that's been in my dreams every night, and it's you I cried for every night when I was alone and scared in Afghanistan." He watched her wipe the tears away as he wiped away his. He moved his chair forward and took hold of her hand gently and raised it to his lips kissing the back of it.

"I'm going to go to bed now and I'm begging you don't leave… don't run from this, from me, because I need you more than you will ever know. Stay on the couch if you want or one of the spare rooms, just don't leave. Be here when I wake up in the morning."

He turned his chair around and headed back to the bedroom, he left the bedroom door open and went straight through into the bathroom and closed the door. He picked up his toothbrush and realised his hands were shaking, he couldn't lose her, not again and not like this. But he knew how her mind worked and he knew she was stubborn. She thinks what she did was wrong, he just hoped what he said made her realise she hadn't. He finished brushing his teeth and washed his face. He reached for his painkillers and stopped. He didn't need them so why take them, it was just habit. He closed the cabinet and opened the bathroom door.

He looked towards the bed and smiled, Olivia was lying there on her side with the sheet pulled right up clutched to her chest. Elliot put his chair close to the bed and climbed out and sat on the edge as he stripped down to just his boxers. He pulled the sheet back and lay down next to her without saying a word and stared up at the ceiling. After a few minutes he clumsily turned onto his side and moved towards Olivia back and slowly and gently wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back to him. She didn't resist and took hold of his hand and pulled it up to her chest holding it tight. Elliot relaxed slightly, realising she wasn't going to push him away.

"Thank you," he whispered into her hair. "For not leaving."

She sniffled and gripped his hand tighter "I'm so sorry."

"So am I," he told her.

"What are you sorry for?" You have done nothing wrong." She said quietly.

"For being an idiot."

"You've never apologised before for being an idiot so why start now," she said smiling slightly. Elliot smiled as well as he felt her relax a little.

"Yeah well don't get used to it, it won't happen again for a long time. And I don't want to hear you say it anymore okay. We are both going to say and do things we don't mean over the next few weeks. This is new to both of us and as were both hot headed, stubborn and act first think last kinda people, hell if we keep saying sorry every time we piss each other off we could be saying it quite a bit."

He felt her chuckle against him and he pulled her closer to him. They lay in silence for a while their bodies pressed together, it felt so right.

"So you called Haung to punish me for being an idiot Huh," he said to her. He felt her stiffen slightly and kissed her shoulder softly.

"You mad at me?" she asked him.

"No, it was the kick in the arse I needed. He was going to come and see me anyway. My case was passed on to him once I came home. He told me a few home truths about myself, which I didn't want to hear."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," he said shaking his head. "Not tonight anyway."

"Okay…. We should get some sleep; we have another long and busy day tomorrow."

"Yeah….. I'm so scared for telling the kids Liv. I knew with Kathy and Mom they would be upset and then calm down and accept everything. And I knew you would get pissed, angry and upset, in fact I was quite surprised I didn't get punched or shot."

"Yeah well I took it out on your headstone with a tyre iron."

"But with the kids, what if they can't accept that I'm back, what if they hate me for leaving them."

"El they won't, like I said before I'm not saying they won't be angry and upset, but they won't hate you."

"How do you know?"

"Because they are part of you, and they love and miss you. And I know they all pray and talk to you every night before bed wishing you were still with them. They are lucky El not many kids get a second chance with a parent they thought they had lost forever."

"Yeah I guess you're right."

"Hey I know I'm right. Just give them time, everything will work out fine. And I will be with you all the way. Tonight was my hour of doubt, it's over now, and you have had yours this afternoon. From now on we talk instead of running or in your case rolling," she said giggling. Elliot lifted his head slightly.

"Did you really just say that," he said laughing before lying back down and closing his eyes. "Goodnight Liv."

"Night… I love you."

"I love you to," he ran his fingers through her hair and moved it slightly and kissed the back of her neck sending shivers through her body as his lips touched her ever so gently.

"Mmmmm," she moaned quietly as he carried on kissing and gently sucking her neck, he pulled the t-shirt she was wearing off her shoulder slightly, and covered the small piece of skin that was showing with slow soft kisses.

"You taste so good," he whispered into her ear, his voice deep and low. "I need more of you, I need to taste more."

"El….. You don't need to do this, I don't mind waiting till you're ready," she sighed as she felt his hand move under her t-shirt and his fingers made small circles around her belly button, making her shiver.

"Trust me Liv I'm ready," he told her and as if to prove a point to her he pushed his groin against her ass cheeks and she felt his erection pushing against her.

"So I can feel."

"Almost three years Liv since I have been with anyone, three years of thinking about being with you…." his hand wandered further up under her t-shirt and gently cupped her breast, taking her nipple between his finger and thumb and squeezing and rubbing it. She gasped at his touch. "I know I panicked this morning, but that's cause I thought I couldn't get hard, but you proved me wrong," he told her his lips close to her ears. "God you get me so hard," he moaned as he pushed against her. "Take off your t-shirt and turn around."

He removed his hand from under her t-shirt and she sat up and pulled her t-shirt over her head and threw it down on the floor before she turned to face him, their faces almost touching on the pillow.

"You are so beautiful," he said running his fingers lightly over her skin and down her side resting his hand on her hip. As he moved his head forward and kissed her softly at first, growing more passionate and harder. He slipped his tongue into her mouth as her tongue came to meet his. They finally pulled away gasping for breath. Olivia ran her fingers down his cheek, over his neck and traced the muscles in his chest down to his abs.

"You're not too bad either," she smiled as she stopped at the top of his boxer shorts.

"Lie on your back Baby," he asked her as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down on her as she lay on her back. He bent his head forward and gently took her nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking the small bud as his hand paid attention to the other one. He heard her moan from the touch of his mouth on her. He moved his hand down over her stomach and ran his fingers over the top of panties between her legs.

"El, Baby relax," she told him as she felt his hand tremble against her as he touched her.

"Like I said it's been a while," he said giving her a nervous smile.

"For me as well," she smiled back at him. "I couldn't bring myself to even look at anyone else after you…. left. I know we never actually got together, but I still loved you."

"You mean you haven't been with anyone since….."

"Yeah that's what I'm saying El."

She lifted her hand and wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek. "I should have told you how I felt, I wanted to but I was scared you didn't feel the same. I thought you would have blamed of yourself for my divorce. Maybe if I had told you things would have been different."

"How? You still would have needed to go."

"Yeah but you could have come with me, somehow… we could have gone together."

She kissed him and ran her hand over his chest "We are together now, that's all that matters."

Elliot nodded and moved his hand to the top of her panties; Olivia took a deep breath as he slipped his hand inside, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Jesus Liv," he moaned as his fingers touched her smooth, shaven pussy.

"Hmmm you like that?" she asked as she took hold of her panties and pushed them down and kicked them off.

"Oh yeah," he grinned as he slipped a finger between her folds and felt how wet she already was. "God you feel so good, so, so good," he sighed as his finger entered her. Olivia gasped and spread her legs wider, as he pushed in a second finger, and began to slowly move them in and out of her, as he kissed her softly his lips just touching hers. He slid his tongue across her lips and gently pulled at her bottom lip.

"El as much as I want to take this slow, and explore every inch of you….. I need you, I want you inside me." She looked up at him and saw the worried look on his face. "Hey stop worrying and lie on your back," she told him.

Elliot removed his fingers and lay on his back. Olivia sat up and took hold of the top of his boxers and pulled them down releasing his hard cock. She took hold of him and stoked him.

"El…. Can you actually feel me?" she asked as she gripped him worried he wouldn't be able to.

"Fuck…..yeah baby I can feel that," he grinned. Olivia smiled back at and straddled his waist. "If it gets uncomfortable or I hurt you, you need to promise me you will tell me and I will stop."

"I promise you," he told her as her wet pussy hovered over his hard cock. She guided him into her and slowly inch by inch she lowered her self onto him.

"Oh god, El," she gasped as she slid on to him and he stretched her wide.

"You okay?" he asked as her tight pussy gripped him hard.

"Yeah I just need a few seconds; you're a bit big, especially as it's been a while." She rested her hands on his abs holding herself above him as she got used to his size, before she began to move hips slowly taking him a bit deeper every time. Elliot tried to push up into her but found it hard to. Olivia saw him getting upset.

"Baby don't, please…don't get upset," she begged him as she started to slide up and down his hard shaft as she grinded against him. "You feel so good inside me, so fucking good."

Elliot watched her as she rode him wishing he could thrust up to meet her but he couldn't her didn't have the strength in his lower body. He promised himself there and then he would do anything he could to get the strength back in his lower body so he could make love to her properly. Despite not being able to push up into her he could feel her tight walls gripping him as she slid up and down him.

"Fuck Liv, you feel so good, so tight, so fucking tight and wet."

"I think our first time maybe quite quick," she panted. "God…." She began to grind her hips as she slid up and down him. "You feel so good."

"Liv we….we didn't , I'm not wearing a cond…."

"I'm on the pill."

"Good," he gasped, "Christ Baby, I'm so close." He moved his hand to her mound and pressed his thumb to her clit and began to rub it in hard little circles. "Come for me Liv, I want to come together." She looked down at him her body glistening in a light covering of sweat. She felt her climax building as Elliot continued to rub her, bringing her to the edge. Her eyes stayed with his as her orgasm ripped through her body and she cried out. She gripped his cock with her inner walls.

Elliot watched her as she came and felt her grip him it was all it took for his release as his hot seed spurted into her over and over. Olivia's arms gave out and she collapsed ontop of his chest and lay there gasping for breath. She felt him chuckling against her.

She lifted her head and looked at him "El?"

"Jesus Liv if it's that good without the foreplay and without me being able to move can you imagine what it will be like when we can both fully move."

"We're gonna end up putting each other in hospital," she laughed with him, resting her head back on his chest.

"Thank you," he whispered to her.

"The pleasure was all mine," she whispered back, kissing his chest. "El can we stay like this for a while?"

"Sure baby, it feels so good," he said wrapping his arms around her tightly. "I can't think of any other way I would want to go to sleep." He kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight baby," he said to her.

"Goodnight, El," she smiled closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep.

**Next up Olivia and Kathy tell the kids and a bit more lovin at some point for our favourite couple.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for all the great reviews, good to know your all still enjoying it.**

Chapter 10

Elliot raised himself up and looked down at Olivia sleeping. He ran a finger over her cheek and kissed her lips. He heard her mumble as she kissed him back in her sleep. He kissed her again a little harder and slipped his hand between her legs.

"Hmmm El," she murmured as she opened her legs a little wider.

"Yeah," he said against her lips as he pushed two fingers straight into her, she pushed up slightly to meet his fingers as they pushed into her.

"Feels good," she sighed her hand going to the back of his neck and pulling him down to her and kissing him hard. "So …so good." she moved her hips to meet his fingers as he moved them in and out of her at a steady pace, his thumb brushing over her clit moving in small circles.

"Just wait, I will be waking you up with something more than my fingers, just give me time to get stronger."

"I will hold you to that," she smiled at him. "Oooooh god baby, that feel so good," she said closing her eyes, her back arching up as she moved in sync with his fingers.

"No Liv open your eyes I want you to look me in the eyes when you come." She opened her eyes and looked into his as he continued with his fingers. "That's it Baby," he said as he felt her body tense up. "Cum for me, god you feel so good," he thrust his fingers deep inside her and felt her inner walls grip his fingers. "Just let go Liv….. I love you…so much baby, so so much."

"Oh God!" she screamed as she came hard her body convulsing as she gripped his fingers as her climax hit and her fluids covered Elliot's fingers and hand. They never broke eye contact as her body began to relax Elliot kissed her hard.

"My god you are so beautiful," he told her. She smiled up at him and he slowly removed his fingers from her and brought them up to his mouth and licked her juices from them. "Taste so good as well," he grinned at her. She shook her head and laughed and put her arms around him and pulled him to her holding him tight. After a few minutes he lifted himself from her hug.

"We should move," he told her. "We have a busy day today."

"Okay I will grab a quick shower and start the coffee….. Unless you want to shower together, to save time." Elliot looked away from her and pushed himself up on the bed so he was sitting up. "El what's wrong?" she asked him, sitting up and stroking his back, kissing his shoulder.

"Liv I gotta use a special chair in the shower," he said not looking at her, as he felt her move next to him and felt her leg come over his as she straddled him.

"And…." She said lifting up his head so she could look at him. "I've seen the chair and I don't care, this is all part of you and we just need to get on with things and work around them. You said yourself you won't be in that chair for ever and I believe you, but while you are, we will figure a way around things…..okay."

Elliot nodded "Okay….your amazing do you know that."

"Oh I have been told a few times," she said climbing off him. "I will meet you in there; do you want the other chair brought out here for you?"

"Nah I will switch over in there it's easier." He watched as she walked around the bed, he never thought he would ever see the day when he would see Olivia Benson naked in his bedroom, and it's something he will never tire of. He heard her start the shower and climbed into his chair and pushed himself into the shower room.

The shower room was a large wet room to make it easier for his chair. Olivia smiled at him as he lifted himself into the smaller plastic chair he used for the shower and wheeled himself over to her and under the large spray. Olivia rinsed the shampoo out of her hair then stood behind Elliot and squirted some onto his head and began to massage it in.

"That feels so good," he told her as she let the water rinse it off. She got the shower gel and began to wash his back and chest her hands sliding over his hard chest as she continued to stand behind him. She moved herself around to the front of him and knelt down. She squirted the gel into her hands and began to wash his legs sliding her hands up to his groin and taking hold of him, his cock already becoming hard. She let the water wash off the soap then lent forward and kissed the tip of him and felt his cock twitch at the touch of his lips.

"Liv, you don't have to…." He said his voice husky as he watched her kneeling on the floor in front of him stroking his hard cock.

"Oh I know I don't need to, but trust me I want to," she said looking up at him her eyes heavy with lust. "I want to see how good you taste." She reached past him and turned off the water. Just as her mouth covered him there was a loud knock on the door. She looked up at him "Ignore it," she smirked, her mouth covering him again as the banging on the door got louder and more impatient.

Olivia took him deep in mouth her hand following her mouth up and down his shaft. Elliot looked down watching her as she sucked and licked him, his hand resting gently on the top of her head; he thought this would only happen in his dreams. He heard the banging on the door again but didn't care. All he cared about was what Olivia was doing to him, as her tongue licked the full length of him and her hand massaged his balls. She took him fully in her mouth humming as she did, the vibrations of her lips pushing him further and further to his release.

"Liv….. You need to….stop I'm gonna cum baby."

She shook her head as she continued sucking and stroking him, Elliot heard the banging on the door again as he dropped his head back and pushed up slightly into her mouth as the orgasm ripped through his body and he came. His hot cum spurting into her mouth as she sucked and swallowed everything he gave her. Finally when he could give no more, she released him from her mouth and looked up at him licking her lips and smiling.

"Jesus Liv, "he panted. "That was …" her fingers went to his mouth silencing him.

"Ssshh Baby you can thank me later, right now I best get the door," she said as the banging continued. She stood up and grabbed a towel throwing one to Elliot. She quickly dried on her way into the bedroom and picked up one of his shirts and pulled it on. The shirt hung just on thighs. She grabbed a pair of panties as the knocking got louder.

"You get dressed I will get the door," she said running out the room. She reached the door just as the knocking started again, and flung it open.

Munch was stood there with a huge grin on his face. He looked Olivia up and down and whistled, as he walked past her. She shook her head smiling and closed the door.

"Not interrupting anything am I?" he smirked.

"Not now you're not… what you doin here?" she asked him heading into the kitchen as he followed her; she started to make a pot of coffee.

"Cragen asked me to swing by and pick you both up before we head up to Elliot's moms place."

"You're coming as well," she said turning to face him.

"Yeah, I figured I could keep Elliot Company when you're with Kathy and the kids. Then once their told I can drive him over."

Olivia nodded glad Elliot would have Munch waiting with him as they told the kids. She opened the fridge and bent down to grab some milk and heard a moan from Munch. She grinned to herself when she realised the shirt she was wearing must of crept up a bit.

"Seriously Liv, are you trying to give an old man a heart attack." She smiled as she turned around and reached up kissing his cheek.

"I will just go and get dressed and check on Elliot." Munch shook his head as he watched her go. It was the first time since Elliot left he had ever seen her so happy.

An hour and a half earlier they were all in the car after picking up Cragen from his place, and heading towards Elliot's moms. Olivia had called Kathy to check everything was still on. Kathy had told her the kids would all be there for lunch. All they knew was Olivia and Don were coming for a visit before they headed back to Florida.

She looked over to Elliot; he was staring out the window as the car made its way through the city. She reached over and took his hand squeezing it lightly. He had been quiet ever since they left his place; she knew he was scared and worried. He felt her squeeze his hand and turned his head to look at her, it was then she saw the tears on his cheeks. She moved over towards him and pulled him to her his head resting on her chest, and she held him tight.

"It's okay Baby," she whispered as he held him. "It's gonna be okay."

Cragen turned his head and looked into the back. "Is he okay," he mouthed. Olivia nodded and pulled him closer to her as he cried quietly. Before he had went away she had never seen him cry, he always kept his feelings hid away, but since he came home it was like he never stopped. He would be okay one minute and the next there would be tears. She couldn't blame him all the emotions he must be going through, plus coming home from Afghan and his injury, it must be overwhelming. She hoped after today and the kids knew, there wouldn't be as many. She felt his head move and he raised his head to look at her.

"I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love y…" he words were lost as his lips found hers. He cupped her face with his hand and pulled her down to him, the kiss was soft and slow, at times their lips hardly even touching. She didn't care her Boss and Munch were in the front seats, all she cared about was Elliot and what he needed. She wasn't sure how long they were kissing for before they pulled apart and he looked up at her.

"Don't ever leave me Liv….please," he said to her.

"Never El, partners for ever remember," she smiled at him. "You're never getting rid of me."

They looked around as the car stopped. "This is us," said Munch looking in the back, before him and Cragen got out. Munch grabbed Elliot's chair from the back and put it up ready for him.

"Call me as soon as you can," he told her. "And no matter what make sure their okay." She nodded and climbed out the car and walked round to his side as he climbed into his chair. She bent down and kissed him.

"Don't let Munch drive you mad," she said. "And try not to worry." She watched Munch get the overnight bags out the car. They had decided to book into a hotel just in case things didn't go okay at his Mom's house, and they needed somewhere to sleep. This is where Elliot and Munch would either wait for their call or wait for them to come back to. She gave him one more kiss and climbed in the car with Cragen giving a small wave as they drove off.

"Come on," said Munch patting Elliot's shoulder. "Let's go check in and get a coffee.

Olivia and Cragen pulled up to the house and Olivia took a deep breath.

"You ready?" he asked her.

"Yeah as I will ever be. I don't know why I'm so nervous, I mean its good news were telling them …. Right?" she said trying to smile.

"Yeah, it is," he said patting her knee. "So let's go and tell them their dad is still here with us after all this time."

They climbed out the car and walked up to the door and knocked. It opened almost straight away and Kathy smiled at them.

"Hey," she said hugging them both. "Come on in, everyone is in the kitchen," she said. Lowering her voice to almost a whisper she asked them, "How's Elliot, I don't know how me and Bernie kept it to ourselves this morning. It was okay last night, by the time we got home the kids were in bed."

"He's fine. He got a bit upset this morning. He is worried the kids are going to take it bad and hate him."

Kathy smiled at her "I'm sure they will be fine, they may flip out at first, but I'm sure when they came down everything will be fine."

They headed to the kitchen and Olivia could hear the kids talking and laughing with Bernie as they entered.

"Hey Livvy," said Kat coming over and hugging her.

"Hey Kat….guys, you all have a good time at New Year?"

"Yeah was cool," said Dickie. "Fireworks on the beach at midnight and all that."

"Sounds good," she said giving a small smile.

Maureen looked at Olivia and Don, and watched as Olivia looked at Kathy. "Is something going on?" she asked. All three of them just looked at her.

"What do you mean dear?" asked Bernie.

"I just have a feeling," she said. "Don't take this the wrong way guys it's great to see you, but we only seen you Christmas and normally we always meet up before we fly back to the Florida in the city. You have never come out here like this… especially you Don, we always see you in the city."

Olivia looked at Kathy "Kathy?" she said. Kathy nodded.

"Okay guys Liv and Don are here for a reason. Let's all take a seat at the table." She said to them. They all sat at the table in silence and looked at each other, Olivia could see the worry on their faces.

"Is one of you ill?" asked Lizzy. "Is that why you're here?"

"No Honey no one is ill," said Kathy smiling at her. "I promise you, there is nothing to worry about." She looked over at Olivia and Don, Don nodded and began to talk.

"Okay guys we have something to tell you, we met with your Mom and Bernie yesterday and told them and they thought it would be best if me and Olivia came to tell you what's happened," he said to them. "Its ….. It's about your Dads accident."

All four kids looked at each puzzled. "Is there some new evidence as to how he crashed?" asked Dickie.

"Something like that," said Liv leaning forward onto the table, she took a deep breath before she carried on. "Okay ….. The accident wasn't an accident…."

"I knew it," said Kat. "I always said Dad was a good driver…"

"Kat," said Kathy. "Just listen to Liv okay, let her finish." Kat nodded and looked back at Olivia.

"It seems a guy who your Dad put away took out a hit on him whilst he was in prison. He wanted your Dad dead, so he organised for someone to kill him."

"Dad was murdered…." Said Maureen looking at Olivia. "Is that what you have come to tell us….someone killed him."

Olivia shook her head, she knew it was going to be hard to explain. "The FBI found out about the hit, they had someone undercover in the prison who got word out to them about a hit being taken out, the FBI warned your Dad. They told him even though the hit was on him apparently the guy who took it out said if they couldn't get your Dad they were to go for the ones he loved…."

"They were coming after us," said Lizzy. Olivia nodded.

"So are they still after us now, is that why your both here, to tell us we are in danger?" asked Kat.

"No….god no, your all safe, I promise you," said Olivia seeing the panic and worry in all their faces. "Your dad made sure he kept you all safe."

"What do you mean?" asked Maureen. "How did he keep us safe?"

Dickie pushed his chair back and slowly stood up shaking his head. "No…..No,No,No…." he said as he moved away from the table.

"Dickie what's wrong," asked Lizzy as they all looked at their brother, his face was white. Kathy put her hand over her mouth to hold back the sob as she watched her son.

"We weren't allowed an open coffin," he said out loud but to himself. "Dad was identified by his badge…"

"Dickie what you on about," asked Lizzy.

"Nobody seen his body," he said looking directly at Olivia and seeing the tears on her cheeks. "There was no body was there?"

Olivia looked at him unable to speak as all eyes turned to her.

"Was there!" he yelled making everyone jump.

"Mom, Livvy what's he on about?" asked Kat.

"Did you know?" he asked Olivia directly walking round the table so he was stood in front or her. "Did you know he was alive all this time, and not tell us."

"Dickie stop it!" yelled Maureen. "Mom what the hell is he going on about, Dads dead, we buried him."

"Well Detective Benson, you gonna just sit there or answer the question…..Did. You. Know?"

Don stood up and put his hand on Dickies shoulder "look Son why don't you take a seat and we will explain everything."

"Go to hell," said Dickie pushing Don out the way and running from the room.

"Should I ….." said Don pointing to the door Dickie had gone through.

Kathy shook her head "No give him some time, he is like his Dad hot headed and stubborn, he needs time alone," she said.

Olivia looked round the room and saw all eyes on her. Kathy came and sat down beside her.

"Girls…. Your Dad…..he…. he is still alive," she said to them. They all just sat in silence looking across the table at their Mom and Olivia.

"I will make some tea," said Bernie needing something to do.

"He's alive," said Maureen as tears ran down her face. "But how, we buried him?"

Olivia wiped her eyes "The FBI had to fake his death and put him into protection."

"He's alive?...He isn't dead," said Kat a small smile appearing on her face.

"Yes Honey, he's alive," said Kathy smiling back at her.

"Have you seen him?" asked Lizzy wiping her eyes.

"Yes me and your Grandma seen him last night."

"What you mean he is in New York, has he been here all this time and never got in touch?" asked Maureen slight anger in her voice.

"No he has only just got back, the FBI had to send him away," said Don helping explain. "After your Dad found out they were going to go after you kids and anyone else he loved if they couldn't kill him, he knew he had to protect you, and the only way to do that was to let them think they had succeeded. After they faked his death he had to leave, change his name and never see you or contact you all again."

"So how come he is back home now?" asked Lizzy still crying.

"Because the FBI screwed up, the hit on your dad was removed and they didn't know, he never had to leave in the first place." Said Olivia.

"Is he okay though?" asked Maureen. "We can see him can't we?"

"Yeah I want to see him," grinned Kat. "I can't believe he is alive, all those nights of praying to god that I wanted him back." She looked at her sisters and slowly they all smiled.

"Oh my God!" yelled Maureen as all three girls hugged and started talking all at once. Kathy looked at Olivia and wiped her eyes as they both smiled.

"Kathy you need to tell them, the rest. If you don't mind I will go and find Dickie and tell him."

"No its fine Liv, you go find him," Kathy knew the bond Dickie and Liv had since the funeral. "I will explain everything else to the girls."

Olivia stood up and walked out the room followed by Don. "You okay Olivia?" he asked her.

"Yeah…. I will be, once I talk to Dickie."

"You need me to come with you?" he asked.

She shook her head "No, you stay here and answer the questions from the girls believe me there are gonna be a few."

Olivia grabbed her coat and Dickie's and headed out onto the beach. She saw Dickie sat on the sand and walked up behind him. His arms were wrapped around his knees and he was shivering, tear marks on his cheeks. She wrapped his coat around his shoulders and sat down beside him. They both sat in silence for a while.

"How could you keep that from us?" he asked her.

"I didn't know, not until a few days ago."

"You were his partner, you knew everything about him, more than we did. Are you telling me he never told you?"

"He never told me. The day Don told me about the crash I … I, it killed me inside, I thought I was going to die. None of us knew. He couldn't tell anyone not if he wanted to keep us all safe. He couldn't risk it. He couldn't risk any of us getting hurt, because of him."

"He just left us Liv, how did that not hurt us. How could he just leave his family like that. No goodbye, no nothing. He was there one day and the next he was fucking gone…. That's not love, if he loved us he would never have left….I hate him."

"Don't say that Dickie, Your dad loves you more than you will ever know. He gave up everything to keep you all safe. He had to leave knowing he would never see any of us again, and he did it to make sure nothing would happen to you. Yes you lost you dad but you still had your sisters, your Mom, Me, your dad had nothing, except memories." She saw Dickie wipe his eyes as more tears came, and he looked at her for the first time since she sat down next to him.

"Tell me everything," he said. "Don't leave anything out, I want to know exactly why we were left to think my dad was dead for the last two and a half years,"

Olivia nodded and put her arm around his shoulders. "Okay, on one condition."

Dickie looked at her, "I never want to hear you say you hate your dad again, ever," she told him. "Because he doesn't deserve that."

Dickie looked at her and nodded and sniffed, then smiled a small smile. "I don't hate him Livvy, I was just angry, but I do need to know everything."

"Okay," she said and started to tell him what happened from the very beginning.

Dickie looked up at Olivia "He can't walk," his face had gone white and his body had began to shake as Olivia told him about Afghanistan and being shot.

"No he can't but hopefully after his physio he will get almost full movement back."

"Did the little girl live, did he save her?"

"Yeah she did, she visited him in the hospital before he flew back home and sent him a thank you letter, which he got just before Christmas."

"That's good," he smiled. "Have you seen him yet?"

"Yeah I have."

"How did you feel when you first seen him again?" he asked her.

"What do you mean?"

"I…. I'm a little scared of what to say to him, or how I'm going to react."

"Hey there's nothing wrong with that, he feels exactly the same way, and if it makes you feel any better I kinda lost it a bit when I first seen him."

"You did?"

"Yeah. You see I knew Fin and Munch were up to something so I followed them. I barged right into the house and saw your dad just sat there eating Chinese. I kind of freaked out at first, thought I was seeing things. Then I passed out, then I shouted and got angry, then I threw a lamp at him….."

"You threw a lamp at him?" said Dickie raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, then I really lost it and smashed up his headstone."

"Wow," he said. "At least we have been told first and not just walked in on him sitting there. That must of really freaked you out?"

"It did, but after I calmed down and listened to Don, I realised he done everything to save us, he loved us all so much he gave up everything….. Not many people would do that."

"Yeah your right…..I'm sorry for the way I acted and stormed out."

"It's okay, at least you didn't throw anything or smash anything up," she smiled at him. He looked up at her and smiled back.

"Do you think when I first see him I could do it alone, just him and me."

"I'm sure that can be arranged," she said shivering. Dickie stood up and reached his hand out to her to help her up.

"Come on, we best get back in, Dad will kill me if I keep you out any longer and make you ill."

She took his hand and stood up, looking at him. "God your so much like your Dad," she told him, cupping his cheek in her hand. He smiled and put his arms around her waist and hugged her.

"I love you Livvy," he said holding her tight.

"I love you to sweetheart," she told him kissing the top of his head. "Come on let's get inside."

As they walked into the warm kitchen, the three girls looked up and Kathy came over hugging him tight to her.

"You okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah, I'm good….sorry for storming out and losing my temper." He said to everyone. Lizzy came over and wrapped her arms around her twin, and the two just stood holding each other.

"We have been talking," she said "While you were with Liv. As much as we can't wait to see Dad, we thought it would be best if you went with Liv to collect him and bring him here."

"You… you do." He said looking at his other two sisters. They both nodded. "Okay, if you're sure?"

"We are," said Maureen and Kat together.

"Just don't keep him to yourself for too long," smiled Lizzy.

Dickie turned to Olivia "When can we go?" he asked her.

"Whenever you're ready?"

"Okay lets go," he said heading to the door.

As they climbed in the car Dickie looked over to her. "Liv I want to see him alone, with no one else there at all."

"That's okay I will get Munch out the room."

He nodded and turned to the window watching everything go by as they drove to the hotel in silence.

**Next up everyone gets reunited. Please review I love getting the feed back.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Time for Elliot to face his kids.**

Chapter 11

Olivia pulled up to the hotel and turned off the ignition. She turned to Dickie who was staring straight ahead; he hadn't said a word since they had left the house.

"You okay?" she asked him.

He nodded and turned to face her "I guess I'm just a little scared to see him….. You know with him being in a wheelchair."

Olivia put a hand on his shoulder "he is still the same person, he is still your dad whether he is in the chair or not…. You have nothing to be scared of."

"Yeah," he said as he took a deep breath and removed his seat belt.

"Come on then," said Olivia climbing out the car. Dickie got out and followed her into the hotel. "I will go in and ask Munch to come with me, before you go in." She stopped by the room. "Wait here," she told him with a smile "and stop worrying."

She opened the door and walked in.

Elliot's head shot up when he heard the door open, him and Munch were sitting watching TV.

"Liv," he said spinning round in the chair, "How did it go? Are they okay? Do they want to see me?" She held her hand up.

"Whoa Baby one question at time," she smiled. "It went as expected, but before I tell you anymore I need a quick word with Munch."

"Why?" he asked her.

"I just do…..John," she said nodding towards the door. Munch got up and followed her to the door looking at Elliot and shrugging his shoulders as he followed her out. Olivia shut the door behind him leaving Elliot alone in the room. As he got outside he looked at Dickie and smiled.

"Dickie wanted to see Elliot alone," she told him. "I thought we could go grab a coffee till their ready to head back to see the girls."

"Sounds good to me," smiled Munch.

Olivia looked at Dickie "I will be in the coffee shop across the road if you need me, you have my number."

"Yeah thanks," he said trying to smile. He took a deep breath and turned towards the door and put his hand on the handle…

Elliot sat in the room staring at the door, waiting for her to come back in. He was starting to worry. Why didn't she tell him what was going on, what had happened. Why take Munch out the room. He turned his chair towards the table and picked up the beer he was drinking to try and calm himself down. He heard the door open.

"About time Liv….." he said putting his beer down and spinning his chair round. He froze as he came face to face with his son.

"Hey Dad," said Dickie not moving from where he stood.

Elliot didn't move, he just sat looking at his son for a few moments "Hey," he replied quietly, tears flowing from his eyes, as he looked at his son who he never thought he would see again. He didn't know what to say, as they just stared at each other.

Dickie looked at his dad. He looked exactly the same as the last time he had seen, a little thinner but he looked the same except for the chair. He saw the tears falling on his Dads face as they both didn't move or speak they just stared at each other.

Elliot wiped his eyes "I…I'm so sorry, Son. I had to do what I done, I…" he stuttered as he tried to explain. He never got to finish as Dickie ran towards and flung himself on to him wrapping his arms tight around Elliot as he cried.

"I missed you so much Dad," he sobbed as his dad held him tight.

"God I missed you to, everyday Dickie," he said holding him tight. "Every single day." No more words were spoken as they both cried and hugged each other.

Outside the door Olivia moved her head away and smiled at Munch. "Let's go get that coffee," she said to him.

"Dad," said Dickie his voice muffled into Elliot's shoulder. "I …cant breath; you need to loosen up a bit."

Elliot smiled and released his grip on him and Dickie stood up straight. They both wiped their eyes and looked at each other.

"You got so big," said Elliot as he looked at him.

"Well it has been almost three years."

"Yeah it has," said Elliot looking down. "I guess I missed a lot."

"Yeah I guess you have" he said looking at his dad and smiling. "But your home now…" he dropped his head. "God I wanted to be so angry with you, for leaving us…. But I can't," he said as he walked past his Dad to the hotel fridge and took out two beers. Elliot spun round and looked at his Son raising an eyebrow as Dickie popped the tops off and handed one to Elliot.

"Erm…." He said looking at the beers.

"Seriously Dad, Three years and the first thing you're going to do is have a go," he grinned. "I think I need one after today, and I hate to tell you this but I do drink now, and go to parties, I aint a little kid anymore."

Elliot laughed and took a drink "Yeah okay point taken," he said as Dickie sat on the chair next to him and turned it to face Elliot. Elliot took a drink of the beer before he spoke again. "You have to know I didn't have a choice, when I left."

"I know Dad, Livvy and Don explained everything….. I was angry at first, at you for leaving us, I kinda freaked out a bit and stormed out." He told him. "Accused Livvy of knowing you weren't dead…and keeping it from us."

"She didn't know, I promise you."

"I know she came after me and told me everything…. I don't hate you Dad, don't ever think that."

Elliot took a deep breath and let it out "God it's so good to hear you say that. I was so worried you would hate me for leaving and…."

"I understand why you had to leave and why you did it. I'm more angry at the guy who took the hit out on you and the FBI for not doing their job properly. I know you only left to protect us, I'm just glad the truth came out and we got you back. It's been awful these last three years… Especially just after we were told about the crash….." Dickie dropped his head not looking at Elliot.

"Hey it's okay, whatever happened is in the past now." He said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"It's just I got angry with everyone. I hated you for leaving us; I hated Mom for moving away from New York and taking us with her. I had a go at Livvy cause she didn't look after you like she promised. I got into loads of fights; I almost got kicked out of school. If it weren't for Livvy putting in a good word…"

"Son that's all over now. I'm just sorry you had to go through all that. You will never know how much I wanted to call you all, let you know I was okay. I just couldn't risk it. I had to keep you safe."

"And who was keeping you safe?" asked Dickie looking at his Dads legs and the wheelchair, the room falling silent again.

"It's not permanent," he told Dickie "this thing," he said tapping the side of the chair. "It's only till I get the strength back in my legs….and I will, I will walk again."

"What made you do it Dad, what made you go into that building by yourself? All those years as a cop, you know to always have back up."

"I have asked myself that question over and over especially when I was in the hospital and I always come up with same answer. I had to save that little girl. I didn't have a choice….. And at the time I had nothing to lose."

Dickie looked at him "What do you mean, you had nothing to lose?"

"I had nothing at the time. I thought I would never see you and the girls again. Olivia, my Mom, your Mom. I didn't have anyone. So I went after her alone, I didn't want to put anyone else's life in danger. All the men in my Section had families to go home to ….. I had no one. You already thought I was dead." Dickie held the tears back as he listened to his dad talk.

"Is that why you went back into the Marines, I mean you could have went anywhere, had an easy life?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you used to tell me stories about your time in the Marines you always said it was like a family, so is that why you re-joined? To have a family."

"Yeah I guess it was, in a way, plus I just needed to keep myself busy. Could you really see me doing a 9-5 job somewhere?"

"I guess not," said Dickie smiling. Elliot finished is beer and pushed himself to the fridge and took another two out.

"So how are your Sisters?" he asked him. "How did they handle the news?"

"They are all good and they handled it a bit better than me, at least they didn't storm to the beach with no coat on in the middle of winter. They can't wait to see you. They knew I wanted to see you alone first so they told me to come with Livvy to pick you up… Do you want to leave now to go and see them?" he asked, praying the answer would be no. He didn't want to share his dad just yet.

Elliot shook his head "No not yet, we can finish our beers first. I never thought I would ever see the day when I would be having a beer with my son, I don't need to rush it."

"Great," said Dickie with a huge smile on his face. "I don't think I want to share you with girls just yet." Elliot pushed his chair over to him and handed him the beer. "Welcome home Dad," he said as he took the beer from Elliot and raised the bottle.

"It's good to be home Son," he said clinking his bottles against Dickies before drinking it.

Olivia looked at her watch then at Munch "It's been two hours, do you think everything is okay up there."

"What you mean you're worried about leaving two Stabler men in the same room together," said Munch looking at her form over his newspaper.

"Maybe we should head back up…. I mean the girls will be wanting to see him." she said standing up. Munch got up and followed her.

"If we hear any yelling you can go in first. There is no way I am getting in-between to Stablers, just calming one down is bad enough."

Olivia glared at Munch "You're not funny John."

He shrugged his shoulders "Just saying."

They stood outside the room and Olivia put her head to the door trying to listen inside. "I can't hear anything." She knocked gently on the door and entered the room. She shook her head at the sight in front of her. Elliot and Dickie were both sat on the couch, feet on table in front of them surrounded by empty beer bottles watching TV.

"Hey Livvy," said Dickie pushing himself up off the couch and wobbling slightly. "Me and dad have been catching up."

"So I see," she smiled. "Just how many of those beers did you have whilst catching up?" she asked them raising her eyebrow.

"Ooops I think we just been busted," grinned Elliot, pushing himself forward.

"Livvy is cool she won't tell Mom," said Dickie walking up to Olivia and putting his arms around her and hugging her tight. Elliot looked at his son and Olivia and smiled as he realised how close they had become since he had been away. He reached over and pulled his chair closer to the couch and climbed in.

"You ready to go and see your girls now?" she asked him as he pushed himself round the couch and banged into the table leg. "Stupid fucking thing," he cursed as he backed up and tried again.

Dickie started to laughing "hey dad can you get a DUI when you're in that thing." Olivia began to laugh with Dickie, whilst Munch just shook his head. Elliot just looked at the two of them.

"Come on let's get out of here, we need to try and sober up a bit before I get you home to your mom," he said to Dickie. "Otherwise you really are going to be going to my funeral."

Elliot and Olivia took the back seat and let Munch and Dickie in the front. Within minutes of setting off Dickie had fallen asleep, and they all drove along in silence with the only noise from the radio.

"How much did he have?" asked Olivia taking hold of Elliot's hand about twenty minutes into the journey.

"Only four bottles, I'm sure he drinks more than that at the parties he goes to. I think it just hit him a bit quicker with everything that has happened today. All the emotions he went through."

"So everything went okay?"

"Yeah it was great Liv. I really thought he was going to take it badly and hate me, but he Is more pissed with the FBI, he hates them for what they put us through."

"Like father like son Huh," she smiled turning her head and staring at Elliot. "I still can't believe your home," she said turning her body to face him properly. "I keep expecting to wake up and find out it's all been a dream and none of this is real."

Elliot reached over and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear "It's real Liv," he said as he pulled her head towards him and kissed her softly on the lips. "Does….that…..feel…..like….its…not …real?" he asked kissing her softly between each kiss.

"No that feels pretty real to me," she said before kissing him and sliding her tongue in to meet his and moaned into his mouth. "Feels pretty good as well."

"Yeah it does," he agreed as his mouth moved and he kissed and sucked her neck gently.

Dickie woke up and looked into the back of the car and quickly turned back around as he saw his Dad and Olivia making out.

"Ah man, you could have warned me," he said to Munch, who was sitting with a stupid grin on his face. "Have they been like this since they seen each other? Since Dad got home."

"In-between all the fighting, yeah pretty much."

Dickie smiled and glanced back "It's pretty cool aint it," he smiled.

"Yeah Kid I guess it is, after everything that's happened they both deserve some happiness."

Elliot broke away from Olivia and dropped his forehead to hers as they listened to Munch and Dickie talking over the song on the radio "I love you," he whispered to her running his finger down over her cheek.

"Right back at ya Stabler," she said dropping her head to his shoulder and cuddling into him for the remainder of the journey.

Dickie jumped out the car and ran round to the back getting Elliot's chair out for him and put it up. He opened the back door and helped his dad into the chair.

"You okay dad?" he asked him.

"Yeah, just nervous."

"Believe me dad you have nothing to be nervous about, the girls will be fine, come on," he said all excited heading up to the house.

"It will be fine," she said to him. "This is the last hard bit, after this everyone else will be a piece of cake."

"Yeah, your right. Once I have seen the girls I can start living my life instead of hiding away."

"Just promise me one thing." She said to him beginning to laugh.

"What's that?"

"When you come to the station and see Tucker for the first, make sure I'm with you. Can't wait to see his face when he realises your actually alive and we are back together," she grinned at him. "The guy is going to shit bricks."

They headed into the house behind Dickie and Elliot stopped as he got into the door way, as Dickie headed into the living room where he could hear everyone talking. As Dickie walked in the girls all stopped talking and turned to face him. They all looked past him looking for their Dad.

"Where is he?" asked Kat as they all stood up.

"Did he not come with you?" asked Maureen. "Did he not want to see us?"

"Of course I did Sweetheart," said Elliot from behind Dickie. Dickie moved to the side and Elliot pushed his chair forward. The girls all just stood and looked at him, nobody spoke or moved.

"Wow," said Elliot. "If I knew faking my death, then reappearing after two years was all it took to shut the three of you up I would have done it years ago," he said smiling, he heard Dickie chuckle from the side of him.

"Yeah and after Two years of working away, with no allowance to pay out, you would think you could afford a better set of wheels. Is the Porsche in the garage?" Said Kat running towards Elliot and flinging her arms around him followed by Maureen.

"God we missed you Daddy," sobbed Maureen as his they held him pushing him back in his chair.

"I missed you all, so much," he told them as more tears fell and they all hugged each other. Elliot looked up from his two older girls'; Lizzy was still just stood looking at Elliot, tears streaming down her face.

"Lizzy…Baby Girl, you okay?" he asked her.

Lizzy shook her head and started to back out the room, as she got to the door way she turned and ran, a few seconds later they all heard her bedroom door slam shut. Everyone looked at each other in silence.

"I'll go," said Dickie, going to leave the room.

"No," said Elliot grabbing his arm. "I will." He looked at his other two daughters. "Do you mind?" he asked them.

"No dad, it fine, go see her," said Kat. "We can wait." Both the girls bent over and kissed each cheek.

"I love you, both," he said as he followed Lizzy down to her room.

"Well…" said Kat looking round at everyone.

"Really Kat, you don't see your dad for all this time and the first thing you do is joke about the wheelchair," said Maureen laughing.

She shrugged her shoulders "What can I say I don't like tension," she laughed back. "Come on let's get this party started," she said getting a bottle of wine out the fridge and throwing a bottle of beer to Dickie. Dickie looked at Olivia who just shook her head and smiled as he popped the top and took a drink.

Elliot knocked on Lizzy's door, when he didn't get an answer he pushed the door open slowly and went into the room. Lizzy was lay on one of the tow beds in the room her back to the door. Elliot could hear her crying and his heart broke.

"Lizzy….Baby…" he said rolling his chair up to the bed. "I'm so sorry, for everything. You have to believe me the last thing I wanted to do was leave you all, especially you kids. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I love you all so much."

Lizzy kept her back to him "Lizzy, turn around …..please," he begged her.

Lizzy shook her head "I can't," she said through her crying.

"Why not? He asked her moving closer and putting a hand on her back.

"Because, I'm scared that if I look at you and reach out to touch you, you will just disappear. Like you do every other night in my dreams."

"Ooh baby I'm not going anywhere this time I promise you. I'm back and I'm staying, I promise you."

"You can't make that promise, you promised me before you would always look after me and be there to keep me safe. You lied ….. you left me… you broke your promise."

Elliot sighed "Lizzy I had to go. To keep my promise to keep you safe I had to go. I couldn't risk you all being killed; I needed to look after you."

"But I missed you so much, I was so angry with you for breaking your promise."

"There is nothing wrong with being angry with me; I understand that, I really do. But I need you to know I am not going anywhere, not until god decides it's my time."

He heard her sniffle as she wiped her nose on her sleeve. "You promise?"

"I promise. And if you want we can get a legal contract drawn up, which gives you permission to kick my ass if I ever break that promise to you again."

He heard her laugh a little laugh. "Now you gonna turn around so I can see your beautiful face, that I have only seen in my dreams for the last two years."

Lizzy sat up on the bed and turned to face her Dad, wiping her eyes. She looked up at him and gave a little smile.

"Come here," he said holding out a hand to her. Lizzy took his hand and Elliot pulled her to him sitting her on his knee and wrapping his arms around her. "I love you so much," he told her wiping her tears away. "You're always going to be my baby girl, you know that right," he told her as she wrapped her arms around him holding him tight. She nodded her head.

"I love you Daddy," she told him as she hugged him. "I'm so glad you came back to us."

"Me to baby, me to."

Elliot looked over his shoulder as he heard someone come in the room.

"Everything okay?" asked Olivia as she looked at Lizzy sat on Elliot's knee hugging him tight as she cried.

"Everything is great," said Elliot smiling at her. "I love you," he mouthed to her. Olivia walked over to him and kissed the top of his head.

"There is beer, wine and food when you're ready, just take your time," she said walking out the room and leaving Elliot to spend some time with his youngest child.

"Is everything okay?" asked Kathy as Olivia came back into the room and picked up her wine glass.

"Yeah everything is good, in fact everything is great. For the first time since he left I don't feel like bursting into tears," she said to Kathy as she looked around the room at everyone's smiling faces.

"Yeah, I know what you mean, just look at the kids, it's like it's not real." She put her arm around Olivia's shoulder "How's things with you and Elliot?"

"Great, a few problems at first but we will sort through them."

"I hope none of them are because of me, because of mine and Elliot's past?"

"No they aren't, however I think Elliot is a bit worried about the fact your married again and living in Florida with the kids."

"Well I have been thinking about that. Once everything has settled down why don't you and Elliot come down for a holiday, relax a little in the sun. Up until then, if the kids want to stay here for a little with you and Elliot then that's fine with me."

"You wouldn't mind us coming down, what about Mike?"

"He knows all about Elliot, hell the kids talk about him all the time, it was him that suggested you both coming down."

"I suppose the kids could stay at my place and with Elliot if they do stay, we could always change their flights so they get back down before school starts again. Why don't we leave it till the morning and I will speak to Elliot about the trip and you can speak to the kids."

Kathy nodded in agreement as Elliot and Lizzy came back in the room. Dickie went up and hugged his sister as the two older girls hugged their dad again. Olivia took a bottle of beer over to Elliot before walking over to Munch, Fin and Bernie.

"I have told Don and John to use the hotel room, as I am having you and Elliot staying here tonight. I don't think the kids will let him go anywhere right now," said Bernie looking over at them all sat on the couch with Elliot in front of them.

"We will come and see you tomorrow to see if you're staying on here or heading back with us," said Don.

Olivia nodded and hugged Don and then Munch "Thank you for everything. Me and Kathy have a few ideas and some plans, so we will know tomorrow what is going to happen. But for now I just want to relax and celebrate, everything else can wait," she said turning round and looking Elliot.

**Up next Elliot goes back to the station, and a little more Elliot and Olivia alone time. Hope your all still enjoying this. I have an idea I am working on for a new story after the Season Premier. (So many stories can come from those few moments when she talked about Elliot). Don't forget to keep the reviews coming.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Elliot looked over as he heard the kitchen door open and close as Kathy walked quietly out onto the back porch. He put his hand on Olivia's knee.

"I won't be long," he told her pushing away from the table and grabbing his coat pulling it on, before following Kathy out. Olivia watched him then turned back to the kids and her conversation with Kat.

"You okay?" he asked Kathy as he came up beside her, she was sitting on the steps looking down towards the beach and water.

"Yeah, just needed a few moments alone."

"Sorry … do you want me go," he said going to turn away.

"No," she said putting her hand on his shoulder. "Stay, don't go." Elliot nodded and they both sat in silence.

"I'm sorry, Kathy…"

"Elliot stop, you don't need to keep apologising, you done what you thought was right, you had no option you had to go."

"No ….. Not for that," he said.

Kathy looked at him puzzled.

"I was a really shit husband to you, the way I treat you, before we split up."

"Elliot…"

"No, Kathy I was. All those nights and days at work, I was never at home to help you with the kids, and I should have been. I shouldn't have treated you like I did."

"Things happen for a reason," she said looking up at him.

"Yeah but I could of handled things a lot better. I knew my feelings for Liv were more than what they should have been, and it scared me. I couldn't understand how I could love you and the kids, and have the feelings I did for Liv. I didn't mean to push you away like I did. I found it easier to just argue with you, pick stupid fights and then put the blame on you. I shouldn't have done that. I should have talked to you and been honest."

"Elliot what happened between us wasn't your entire fault. I knew things had been going wrong between us for a long time. I just couldn't imagine not being with you. I was scared as well. If we had been happy, really happy, then you would have never had those feelings for Olivia, and I wouldn't have been able to walk away from like I finally did. Things happen in life that we can't control. I knew there was more to your partnership, I knew really cared about her, I just didn't want to admit it."

"You have to know nothing ever happened between us whist we were married, even after we spilt up I never told her how I felt. I just kept it all inside."

"I know nothing happened Elliot, believe it or not me and Olivia have talked quite a bit over the last two years about you and everything that did and didn't happen." She smiled at him.

"Yeah…. About that, how the hell did you and Liv become such good friends?"

"We came back to New York a few days before the funeral. I met up with Don for some lunch as we went through the arrangements. We talked about the accident and the kids and how they were coping. He never mentioned Olivia in the conversation, so I asked how she was coping with losing you. He told me she wasn't doing too well. She had cut herself off from everyone locked herself away in her apartment. I asked him out right if the two of you were in a relationship. He…. He told me that nothing ever happened between the two of you physically, but that didn't mean there weren't feelings in here," she said touching her heart. "I asked him what he meant by that, so he told me stories about some of the cases the two of you worked on. The way you looked out for each other. How you would have put yourself in the line of fire to save her and how she would of done the same. He told me how you could run an interrogation without even talking to each other; you just seemed to know what each other were thinking. In all his time on the force he had never seen two people so much in sync… You were soul mates. And as much as I wanted to hate her, I couldn't. It was because of her you came home to your kids and me for as long as you did. It was then I realised that she loved you, but never said anything because of your family. No matter what her feelings were for you she kept them hidden." Kathy took a deep breath, she looked at her hand and realised Elliot had took hold of it as she had been talking.

""So let me get this straight, you realised my Partner loved me, so you became friends?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Elliot me and the kids had each other to help us through your death, Olivia had no one. I couldn't leave her to go through losing you alone. She was a big part of your life weather I liked it or not. The morning of the funeral we received a box with some of your things in it, including your shield. The kids insisted we gave it to Olivia. I went to see her just before the funeral and I saw the hurt and pain she was in, so I told her. I told her that you loved her, and that I wasn't angry, and we held each other and cried. We needed each other and we needed to be strong for the kids."

"Thank you," he said to her pulling her to him and she lay her head on his knee as he stroked his fingers through her hair. "You have to know I never stopped loving you."

"I know and I will always love you," she said kissing his hand.

"Are you happy with Mike?" he asked her.

"I am, we just clicked, the love I feel for him is different to the love I felt for you, it's hard to explain," she said to him.

"No it isn't, I know exactly what you mean," he felt Kathy shiver with the cold. "Come on let's get back in before we freeze to death."

Kathy stood up and looked down at Elliot and cupped his face, she leant forward and kissed his lips softly, "Welcome home," she said before they both headed back into the house.

"Mom, where did Liv go?" he asked when he got back into the house and noticed she wasn't sat with the kids. "And Don and Munch?"

"Don and Munch left to go back to the hotel, they will call in the morning to find out what plans have been made. Olivia has took herself off to bed, she said she was feeling tired."

"Oh….. Okay. I will just pop in and check on her."

Bernie grabbed the back of his chair. "She said to tell you to spend time with your family….. I think she needs a little space, Honey."

"Erm, yeah okay," he said not to sure what was going on.

"Hey dad!" yelled Maureen "come and see these photos," she told him. He looked towards the bedrooms.

"Go," said Bernie pushing him towards the kids. "She will be fine."

After another couple of hours of talking and looking at photos, making plans for the next week or so, which involved the kids coming to stay in the city with Elliot and Olivia, when Kathy went home to Florida. It was time for bed. The kids headed off first whilst the three adult tidied up a little.

After saying goodnight to his Mom and Kathy, Elliot headed off to bed. He stopped outside of Dickies room and knocked before opening the door.

"Night Son," he said just as Dickie was climbing into bed. Dickie climbed back out and hugged Elliot.

"Night Dad," he smiled before climbing back in.

Next Elliot stopped by the girl's room and knocked waiting for answer.

"Yo!" yelled Kate, Elliot pushed the door open and entered the room. All three girls were in bed. "What's up?" asked Kat.

"Just come to say good night," he told her going to each of his daughters and giving them a kiss. "See you in the morning," he told them. Before turning to the door.

"It's great to have you back Dad; it just feels like a dream." Said Maureen.

"Well it's not sweetheart now get some sleep…..love you all," he said as he closed the door.

He entered the room him and Olivia were sharing. The small bedside light was on, and Olivia was curled up on her side facing away from Elliot's side of the bed. Elliot climbed out his chair and onto the bed and got undressed. He turned off the light and slipped under the blankets moving himself over towards Olivia until his front was flushed with her back and he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I love you Liv," he whispered to her, not knowing if she was asleep or awake, then closed his eyes. They had been lying in the darkness for a while when Olivia spoke.

"I will understand if you want to go back to Kathy and the kids," she whispered her voice breaking slightly.

Elliot lifted his head and looked at her the only light coming from the moonlight through the window.

"Why would you say that, why would I want to go back to Kathy?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I saw you both outside together. You have a lot of history all those years together, it's obvious you're going to have feelings for each other still."

"Liv turn around," he told her. She shook her head into the pillow. She didn't want to turn around and let Elliot see her tears. She was so scared of losing him again. But if he wanted to go back to Kathy and his kids how could she stop him.

"Benson ….. Turn your ass round," he said pulling her over onto her back. He noticed the tears glistening on her cheeks. "Hey, talk to me, what's got you like this?" He asked her wiping away the tears.

She sniffled and wiped her nose, she hated feeling like this, hated looking and feeling so weak. "I watched the two of you outside, the way you touched her and held her….. Ran your fingers through her hair. It's obvious you still have feelings for each other."

Elliot couldn't believe what he was hearing and started to chuckle to himself. Olivia shot upright in bed and turned to glare down at him. "What the hell Elliot, I'm glad you find this so funny."

"I'm sorry Liv … but outside we talked about the past and how badly I treated Kathy when we were married. But we also talked about you, and Mike. I will always love Kathy and I told her that…" he started to push himself up so he could sit against the back of the bed. "She gave me four great kids and I will always love her for that, but what I feel for you…." he rested his hand on her arm. "Turn around please?" he asked her so he could talk to her face not her back. She kept her back to him, making him angry. "Liv, turn the fuck around, I'm not gonna talk to your back."

She slowly turned around and pulled the sheet up over her naked body, and kept her head down.

"Don't do that Liv don't hide yourself from me… I love you, more than you will ever know. I have been in love with you for so long, how can you even doubt what I feel for you."

"I … I know you love me, but you and Kathy."

"Me and Kathy nothing, Liv I was in love with you long before me and Kathy split up. It wasn't Kathy I dreamt about every night I was away, it wasn't Kathy I wanted when I woke up in agony In the hospital and it wasn't Kathy who I wanted to see first when I got home. It was you; it has always been you…"

"But…"

"No Liv, no buts. I….Love ….You. I don't want Kathy I want you. I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up every morning with you, I don't want anyone else." She wiped her eyes as they both sat there in silence. Elliot reached forward and took her hand. "How can you ever doubt how I feel for you?"

"Because you left me last time, and I don't think I could go through that again."

"Well you don't have to because I'm not going anywhere, now come here," he said pulling her towards him. The sheet dropped away as she knelt up and straddled him and he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"I'm sorry for freaking out a little; I'm just scared something is going to go wrong."

"Nothing will go wrong I promise you," he said kissing her neck and sucking gently. "I don't want to hear you ever doubt how I feel about you, okay."

"Okay," she mumbled as his hands slid down her sides and cupped her ass cheeks over the top of her lace panties pulling her towards him and she could feel his erection pushing against her.

She pushed away from him and he smirked as her breast fell level with his mouth He looked up to her and grinned as he took her nipple into his mouth and sucked on it gently, causing her to moan.

"El….we can't do this," she told him as his mouth moved to her other nipple taking it into his mouth.

"Why not?" he asked in-between sucking and kissing her.

"Erm…..because of your….kids," she whispered as his hand moved over her hip and round to the front of her panties and slipped it inside cupping her pussy. "Fuck," she gasped. "Elliot someone will hear us."

"Well I guess you better practice being quiet cause I need you so bad Liv," he groaned as he felt how hot and wet she already was. "And from the feel of you, you want this as much as me." He slipped a finger between her folds and rubbed her gently before slipping his finger into her. He heard her hiss as he entered her.

"Hmmm," she moaned as his finger moved inside her, she gasped as he slid a second finger into her. She moved her hips so she rocked herself against his hand and his fingers. "More," she whispered into his ear, he did as she asked and slipped a third finger into her. He felt her getting close to her climax as she rode his hand, and he slowly removed his fingers.

"Fuck El," she cursed under her breath not wanting to be too loud in case the kids or anyone else heard her. He grinned and raised his fingers to his mouth licking off Olivia's juices and tasting her.

"God I really want to taste you," he told her. "I can't wait to be able to taste you and put my tongue deep inside you."

"What's stopping you?" she asked him.

"I don't…. it would be a bit awkward for me to move around and… you know with my legs."

Olivia smiled at him and raised herself off him. "Lie down," she told him. "Flat on your back."

Elliot didn't argue and done as he was told. Olivia straddle him again and put a pillow under his head, before moving her way slowly up his body until her pussy was level with his face. "I want you to taste me as well baby; I want your mouth on me."

Elliot grinned, his eyes level with her shaven pussy. "Jesus Liv you are fucking amazing do you know that," he told her.

"Less talk El, I want your mouth to do more than talk," she raised herself slightly so her pussy was over his face. Elliot moved his hands so they gripped her ass and lifted his head slightly. He ran his tongue the full length of her wet slit and moaned as he tasted her. Olivia shuddered as she felt his tongue and leant forward resting against the headboard of the bed.

After stroking her pussy with his tongue a few times he slipped his tongue into her hot opening her sweet juices flowing into his mouth.

"Jesus," said Olivia moving herself over his mouth as he fucked her with his tongue. "Feels so good….oh yeah …." She panted as he removed his tongue and moved his hand from her ass cheek and inserted two fingers back inside her, whilst his mouth and tongue found her clit and began to rub, lick and suck the swollen nub as she rubbed herself onto his face almost smothering him. Elliot didn't care as he felt and tasted her juices as they covered his hand and face.

"Oh God," she gasped, as she felt her orgasm begin to rise in her body. She looked down at Elliot as he ate her pussy hungrily. "Fuck baby," she cursed as he added a third finger sending her over the edge and the orgasm ripped through her body, causing her to shake and convulse Elliot's mouth and fingers never left her as she rode it out. Elliot drank her juices as she came and it was too much for him as he felt cock jerk as he came, his hot cum spurting out of him. When she finally calmed he removed his fingers and gently sucked and licked at her juices enjoying every bit and taste of her as she got her breath back.

"You okay Liv," he mumbled as she was still sat on his.

"Hmmmm, yeah baby, I am more than okay." She said not moving from him.

"Erm you think you could move slightly, Baby. I can't breathe," he chuckled.

"Shit El….sorry," she giggled as she moved carefully down his body. She looked down at his face which was glistening from her juices. "You enjoy that?" she asked him.

"Hell yeah, you taste so fucking good," he grinned at her. She reached over and grabbed a tissue from the box at the side of the bed and gently wiped his face.

"I think you need to have a wash otherwise you're gonna be a bit sticky. I'm so sorry I have never….. You know come like that before."

"I'm glad; I would hate to think of anyone else experiencing that with you."

Olivia moved off him and lay by his side and rested her head on his chest looking up at him. "El….did you cum?" she asked him as her hand found the cold cum on his lower stomach. She reached for another tissue and cleaned him off.

"Yeah, it was too much for me the taste and feel of you; it's the first time I have ever come without actually touching myself or having someone else touch me."

"That was pretty amazing," she said as she moved to a sitting position and began to climb off the bed.

"Where you going?" he asked he lifting himself up on his elbows.

"We need to clean up otherwise we are going to be sticky," she laughed going into the small en suit bathroom. She came back out with a sponge and towel and sat on the side of the bed and gently wiped Elliot's face cleaning him up and then wiped his dry um off him properly. "Back in a minute," she smiled at him and headed back into the bathroom and cleaned herself up.

She climbed back into bed and pulled the sheet and blankets up over them and rested her head on Elliot chest.

"Sorry about before," she told him running a finger over his chest.

"It's okay," he told her as he ran his finger through her hair playing with it. "I mean, when have we ever done anything easily."

"True," She chuckled "I think Don felt like a referee at times in the past with us."

"Yeah we did used to fight and argue quite a bit didn't we?"

"Yeah and there were times I really could of just punched you, you were just so annoying."

"Really you wanted to punch me, I can't believe that," he laughed.

"Yeah well it was either punch you or kiss you. I used to get so turned on when you were being a prick. We used to argue and I would storm off and feel really turned on."

"Really?"

"Yeah really," she said looking up at him. "I would go home, get a bottle of wine and … well you know …. Make myself cum. It was the only way I could get rid of the tension and any sleep."

Elliot looked at her with a smug look on his face. She slapped his chest, "I shouldn't have told you, like your ego needs any help," she laughed.

"Hey at least you made it home."

"What do you mean?"

"I used to disappear into the men's room or the shower in the cribs and jerk off. I didn't want to go home feeling all turned on and thinking of you. Do you know how many times Munch and Fin nearly caught me."

Olivia laughed and Elliot pulled her in close "Hey it's not funny I was so close one day and Munch stormed in asking if I was okay, I could hardly speak. I just kinda grunted at him and told him to fuck off. He didn't speak to me for ages." He told her. "Maybe we should have just gave in and got together there and then."

"No," she said quickly. "I'm glad we didn't."

"Why, if we had been honest with each other we wouldn't have missed all those years to be together."

"Yeah but… It…. it was hard enough losing you when we hadn't been together; I don't think I would have been able to cope if we were any more than friends. I really struggled when I lost you El, I hit rock bottom for a while."

"I'm so sorry baby," he said pulling her closer to him and holding her tight.

"Cragen had to pull me out of it. I locked myself away in my apartment and just drank; I couldn't eat or do anything. I just wanted to be left alone."

Elliot held her tight holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. "If it makes you feel any better I was a mess when I left as well. I refused to do anything I got drunk every night. I went through four different agents in the safe house after I had fights with them for the littlest of things. I even put one in hospital after I broke his jaw."

"Jesus El."

"Yeah I know, who figured I had an anger management problem, when things don't go my way," he laughed. "Any way it was then I decided to go back in the Marines. I needed to be somewhere I didn't have time to think, where I was kept busy and I had other people to look after."

"I can understand that… It was Kathy who really helped me, she invited me into your family, she let me stay close to you through her and the kids. It was a big thing that she done. Not many women would invite a women who was in love with her husband to join them for weeks in a camper van"

"That was pretty amazing, but so was the way you helped my kids. Dickie told me you were there for him when he went off the rails, thank you for that."

"Yeah well he is like a mini you, hot headed, stubborn, annoying and a right pain in the ass, but I love him to bits," she said yawning.

"So I was thinking. Maybe tomorrow we go back to the city and we let everyone else know I'm actually alive. I also have a session with Haung and my physiotherapist is coming over. I'm going to ask Kathy to drop the kids off the day after instead of tomorrow to give us time to sort things out."

"Sounds like you have it all sorted," she said kissing is chest.

"Kind of…. What do you think about me coming back to work?"

Olivia lifted her head and looked at him. "You can't be serious, El you need to get yourself strong first."

"I don't mean out on the street, just helping with paper work and shit. I want to get back to a normal life."

But you hate paperwork?"

"I know but if it means I can get back to work I will do anything."

"Well all you can do is ask, I'm not sure what the protocol is for coming back to work after your death." She said smiling and laying her head back down on his chest. "I know Cragen does need to talk to you though."

"What about?"

"It would be best to let him explain everything, don't worry for once it's nothing you have done wrong, but I will let him tell you when we go into the station," she yawned again. "Right now though Baby I need sleep."

"Me to," he said kissing the top of her head. "I have never felt so relaxed and happy as I am right now. I have all the people I love under one roof which I never thought would ever happen."

She kissed his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist. "I love you baby, now go to sleep." She told him.

Elliot lay back and listened to Olivia's breathing as she started to fall asleep despite everything he wasn't tired. Too much had happened in such a short time. He had gone from having nothing to having everything he always wanted and he wasn't going to ruin things.

"Stop thinking and go to sleep Stabler," mumbled Olivia as she opened her eyes slightly and looked at him. "You're gonna need your sleep if we are telling Casey in the morning, she is going to flip, when she finds out. Expect lots of screaming and alcohol." She said as she fell asleep.

**Next up a bit of fun with Casey and I might have a bit of fun with the Tucker story line. PLease review especially if you have anything you would like me to write in I am always open to ideas.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the delay in this chapter, I got a bit carried away with my story I NEED YOU. So I made up for it by doing a slightly longer chapter. This one is a bit lighter and a bit more fun, hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 13

"Jesus Liv," groaned Elliot as he gripped her hips tighter as she ground herself onto his hard cock leaning back slightly. Elliot had been woken by Olivia's mouth sucking and licking him under the blankets. He had just lay for a while not saying a word as she took him into her mouth over and over until it became too much and he had moaned her name loudly. Once she had realised he was awake she had crawled up his body and impaled herself onto him.

"I couldn't wait for you to wake up," she told him. "I needed to have you, needed you inside me."

"You can wake me up like that every morning if want, you won't hear any complaints here."

She smiled down at him and leant forward kissing him. "I woke up feeling a little horny after the dream I had," she told him as she continued to slide up and down him.

"Yeah, what was it about?"

"You…me ….. Fucking on my desk at work."

"I've had that dream myself," he laughed. "Quite a few times."

"Yeah well at least this time I didn't need to make myself cum after it, I had the real thing to help me."

"Glad I could help… Shit Baby that feels so good," he said as he felt her inner walls grip him hard as she slid down him, making it even tight. "And I promise you as soon as I'm able to I'm going to make that dream come true."

"It's a date….Fuck!" she cursed as she felt her climax begin to build. "You, me and my desk…. I want … I want you to bend me over it, and fuck me hard from behind."

"Fuck Liv," he grunted as he felt himself throbbing inside her. "Please tell me your close Baby cause I can't hold on for much longer."

"Almost there El, so fucking close." She leant back and reached down between her legs and began to rub her clit. She felt Elliot take hold of her hand and move it.

"No, let me," he told her as he replaced his fingers on her clit and made small circles, as she bounced harder and faster onto him.

"Oh god Baby… that's it, hmmmmm….fuck you feel so good," He felt her body begin to shake as she gripped him tight and flung herself forward and sucked hard on his neck to stop her screaming as she came. The feel of her coming and sucking hard on his neck was all it took for Elliot as he unloaded into her, biting his lip to stop him shouting out as his cum spilled inside her.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her as they both tried to calm down and breath. "You okay?" he asked smiling.

"Never felt better," she replied lifting her head up and kissing him on the lips and laughing. "Hope the hell we didn't wake the kids or anyone else up."

"Oh I'm sure if we woke up Kat she will let us know," he laughed.

"Yeah, she aint one to hold back," said Olivia as she stroked the side of his face and looked down at him. "God I love you so much, I don't think you will ever know how much."

"Well if its anything like what I feel then I have a good idea," he smiled up at her.

"SHIT!" she yelled as her fingers went to his neck.

"What's wrong?" he asked moving his fingers to hers on his neck.

"I kinda bit and sucked a little bit too hard, when I came to stop me screaming out. I have sort of left a mark," she said biting her bottom lip.

Elliot started laughing "You gave me a hicky, never thought I would get one of them again."

"It's not funny El, you can't exactly hide it, and all the kids are going to see that."

"Not to mention my ex-wife and my mother. I remember coming home with one when I was a kid; she refused to let me out for two weeks."

"My god this is going to be so embarrassing," she said dropping her head to his chest.

Elliot chuckled as he held her tight. "Hey maybe they won't notice."

"Yeah right," she sighed as she slowly moved off Elliot and lay by his side and he pulled the blanket up over them. They lay for a few minutes as Elliot ran his fingers through her hair. "I was thinking, maybe we should go back via the market and my place. If the kids are staying there then we need to get some shopping. Plus I could grab some clothes and pick up my car."

"Yeah sounds good, are you sure you don't mind the kids staying at yours?"

"El they stay all the time when they are in the city, the girls have a room and so does Dickie."

"Liv you have a one bedroom apartment, how the hell?"

She lifted her head and rested her chin on his chest. "After the trip to Florida with Kathy and the kids, the kids asked if they could come to visit in the next holiday. That way they could visit the cemetery as well. It was fine the first time as it was only for a few days but it was still cramped and nobody had any space. So when they came to visit the next time we went out apartment hunting. I had money from my Mom that was left to me, so I used that. We spent a few days looking till we found the perfect three bedroom apartment. So now when they came to stay we had plenty of space."

"And how often do my kids come and stay with you?"

"Nearly every holiday if they aren't away with Kathy. They would stay and we would spend the nights together telling stories about you and the things we used to get up to. The guys would come over at least one of the nights to spend time with them. It was a way for them to feel close to you, spending time with the people you used to spend your time with. They would have been stopping over for a few days this holiday before they flew back, before everything that happened. I don't think you realise how much your fake death affected everyone, especially the kids. They took it really hard especially as they thought you were on your way to visit them when it happened"

Elliot grabbed her face and kissed her hard. "El what was that for?"

"I think I just fell more in love with you, thank you for being there for them."

"Yeah well it wasn't hard for me; it made me feel close to you as well." They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yeah!" yelled Elliot pulling the blanket up as the both turned the heads to the door as it opened. Lizzy stuck her head in.

"Hi," she said a big grin on her face as she looked towards the bed.

"Morning sweetheart, you okay?" asked Elliot as he looked at Lizzy who was just stood with a big goofy smile on her face.

"I am now…. Now I know last night wasn't a dream, you are still here."

"I promised you I wasn't going anywhere," he smiled at her.

"I know but I had to check, Grandma's making breakfast, pancakes I think, so you best get up," she said closing the door behind her.

They both got dressed quickly and joined everyone for breakfast. Everyone looked at them before carrying on with their breakfast. Kat started giggling and looked at Maureen who was grinning.

"What's so funny?" he asked as his Mom put some pancakes down in front of him.

"The walls are pretty thin, Honey," she told him.

"Yeah Dad, it's a good idea we are staying at Olivia's don't think we would get much sleep at yours," said Kat.

Olivia felt herself go red and glared at Elliot. "What? It isn't my fault" he said to her.

"Oh we reckon it was defiantly all you're doing, Dad" laughed Maureen.

"Oh god," said Olivia dropping her head into her hands.

"I'm just gonna call Mike," said Kathy leaving the table, as much as they all got on she didn't need to hear this conversation.

Bernie sat down next to Elliot and poured some coffee. "I don't think it was all your fathers doing Maureen," she said turning to face Elliot. "I told you once before Elliot Joseph Stabler I don't like Hickies."

All the kids burst out laughing as Elliot's face went as red as Olivia's and he glared back at his Mom. "You got to be kidding me," he said. "What you gonna do, ban me from leaving the house again."

"Don't tempt me sweetheart," she said making the kids laugh even more. Elliot shook his head then looked at all his kids who were laughing and grinning around the table.

"You two are so busted," laughed Dickie.

Olivia and Elliot looked at each other and burst out laughing themselves, it was so good to see everyone so happy.

Two hours later they were on their way back to the city. Haung had called to let Elliot know he would be starting with his new physiotherapist the next day and his first session with him was an hour before that.

"Elliot I have been thinking we need to start letting everyone know your still alive, now the kids know. Do you want me to handle that?" asked Cragen as they pulled up to Olivia's new place.

"Erm yeah that would be great, but if you could wait a little longer. Liv wants to meet with Casey, Alex and Melinda and tell them herself. After that go for it."

"Okay I will wait till I get the nod from you before I release all the information. Do you want us to wait for you guys and drop you back off?"

"No its okay, I'm gonna take my car to El's place we are going to need some wheels."

"Okay well just call if you need anything."

Elliot climbed into his chair the Munch had got out for him. They waved as the car pulled away.

"So this is your new place Huh." Said Elliot looking up at the building."

"Yep, I think you're going to like it, come on," she said holding the door open for Elliot. They got in the elevator and rode up to the 5th floor. She opened the door to her new place and Elliot entered.

"Wow Liv this place is great," he said looking round the modern apartment. "I can see why the kids chose it."

"Yeah it is pretty cool, loads of space. Why don't you take a look around and I will make us some drinks. And I've been thinking why don't I pop to the store to pick up some groceries, it's only down the block. We could order in some food and eat here before we head back to yours." She said filling the kettle with water.

"Or we could stay here for the night. I don't need to be anywhere till tomorrow afternoon," said Elliot coming up beside her and wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her onto his lap, and kissing her neck. "We could start christening all these new rooms."

"Oh we could, could we," she sighed as goose pimples appeared over her skin from the small kisses he was placing over her neck. "God I love it when you do that." She told him as he sucked and nibbled gently behind her ear.

"You do huh?"

"Oh yeah," she felt his hands go under her shirt. "Oh no," she said pushing his hand away. "That will have to wait," she said standing up and shaking her head straightening her clothes.

Elliot grinned at her. "Come on Baby, we could christen the kitchen," he said pouting at her. Olivia laughed at him sulking.

"Nope, you can wait" she said walking past him quickly before he could stop her. "You can order the food; there are plenty of menus by the phone. Make yourself at home, I won't be long."

"Okay," said Elliot knowing she wouldn't change her mind. "Why don't you grab some beers and stuff as well, we may as well make a night of it."

"Sure, anything special?"

"Nah not fussed, just don't be too long."

"I won't be," she said blowing him a kiss before she rushed out.

Elliot pushed himself around the apartment checking it out. He found the kids bedrooms and loved how Olivia had let them decorate their own rooms. He still couldn't believe how close everyone had become since he had been away. He was starting to think so many good things had come from it all.

He grabbed his overnight bag and took it into Olivia's bedroom dropping it on the bed. He took out his toiletries and climbed out his chair and onto the bed. He pulled off his t-shirt and jeans and put on a pair of sweatpants. He grabbed his towel before climbing back into the chair and heading into the bathroom to freshen up. As he finished getting washed he heard the front door open and shut. He finished drying his chest and arms and pushed himself back through the bedroom and into the living room.

"Hey Baby did you forget something?" he asked as he came into the room. He stopped in his tracks and looked at the woman in front of him. "Casey?" he said as she stood and stared at him.

"Wha…..wha…y…..your dead," she stammered as she backed away from him backing up against the wall."

"Casey I…."

"No," she cut him off. "Your fucking dead, I was at your funeral, you fucking died." She said glaring at him. "I sat with Liv while she broke her heart night after night….. Where the hell is Liv?" she asked.

"She went to the store, Casey you need to let me explain, Liv was going to call you."

"How long has she known? Where is she? What the fuck happened?"

"Only a few days," he said as she walked towards him. "She found out new year's day." Casey stood in front of him looking at him.

"You're not dead," she said to him. Elliot shook his head as her hand slapped his face.

"What the hell" he shouted. "What was that for?"

"Needed to know you're really here and I'm not going crazy….plus for all those nights I sat with Liv while she broke her heart….. And for making me cry in front of everyone, I'm and ADA I don't do tears."

"What and hitting me helps with that?"

"Yeah it does," she said before flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tight. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked him as she held him tight and he wrapped his arms around her. He felt tears on his shoulders. "How could you just leave like that, it broke Liv when you left."

"I know and she knows how sorry I am for that," he said as she pushed herself away from her. "She forgave me."

"Well I kind of figured that bit out, as your in her new apartment half naked," she sniffed wiping her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah was just a bit of a shock, you don't expect to walk into your friend's apartment to check on her and find her dead partner sitting in a wheel chair in her living room half naked, but if you tell anyone I lost it and cried all over you, I will kill you for real."

"I won't," he smiled.

"I think I need to sit down," she said pulling out a chair from under the table. "Fuck I could use a drink."

"Good job I got plenty then," said Olivia walking in through the door and putting the bags down. Casey jumped up and ran to Olivia hugging her tight.

"Why didn't you call and tell me?" she asked her.

"I was going to tomorrow, I swear to you. We had to tell the kids first. I was going to get you Alex and Melinda together tomorrow to tell you all. I didn't expect you to turn up here today."

"Yeah well I haven't heard from you since New Year's Eve I was worried, so I thought I would come and check up on you."

"Come on, let's get a drink I think we could all do with one, then we will tell you everything."

"I hope that includes why Stabler is half naked coming out of your bedroom."

"It will don't worry."

"Liv," said Elliot. "I've been thinking. Why don't you invite Alex and Melinda over that way you can tell them as well at the same time?"

Olivia looked at Casey "We could do, they could be here within the hour."

Casey shrugged "It's up to you."

The call was made to Alex and Melinda; Elliot said he would stay in the bedroom until they were told. He pointed out he didn't want to get slapped again. They each had a beer whilst they waited for them to arrive. Olivia had told them it was urgent so they said they would be quick. When the buzzer went Elliot handed Olivia his empty bottle, she bent forward and kissed him gently.

"I will come and get you soon," she told him.

"Okay," he said kissing her back and going into the bedroom.

Olivia took a deep breath and went to the door when the bell went. Alex and Melinda were both stood there. They both smiled as they came in.

"What's going on?" asked Mel as she seen Casey sitting there.

"Why don't I get us all a glass of wine first," said Olivia. Her two friends sat on the could next to Casey.

"Do you know what's going on?" Alex asked Casey. "Yeah sort of but its best coming from Olivia."

"She isn't ill is she?" asked Mel.

"No I'm not ill," said Olivia putting a tray of drinks down on the table and everyone took one. "It's actually good news, really good news." She took a deep breath, then a drink of wine. "Okay," she said trying to think of the best way to say what she had to. "Well it's like this….Erm…. its….. God this is harder than I thought, despite telling the same story a few times over the last two days," she said.

"Elliot isn't dead," blurted out Casey.

"Casey!" gasped Olivia, as Melinda and Alex both spun their heads to face her. Melinda almost choking on her drink.

"What? You needed a hand to say it."

Olivia looked at her two friends who were just sat there.

"What?" said Alex?

"Elliot is alive; his death was faked by the FEDS. He isn't in danger anymore so he has been able to come out of hiding and come home," said Olivia quickly before Casey could say anything else

"But I saw his autopsy report…." Said Mel taking a large drink.

"It was all faked, that's why they wouldn't let you do it. You would have known straight away it wasn't him." said Olivia.

"How long have you known?" asked Alex.

"A few days I found out by accident, before Cragen had the chance to tell me."

"And you?" Alex said to Casey.

"About an hour ago, when I let myself in and found him here, I nearly shit myself, thought I was seeing things."

"He is here," said Mel. "Where is he?"

"He is waiting in the bedroom until I told you. We thought it best." Said Olivia.

"How is he? Is he okay, do his kids know, Kathy and his Mom.?" Asked Alex.

"Yeah they all know we told them yesterday, the only other people who knew were Cragen, Fin and Munch. I was going to tell you all tomorrow but Casey walking in and finding him kind of changed the plans. He is okay, however…"

"However what?" asked Mel.

"He has been injured when he was in Afghanistan, he is in a wheel chair, but its only temporary he is determined he will walk again."

"What the hell was he doing in Afghanistan?" asked Mel, getting more and more confused.

"Look why don't I get him and we can tell you all the full story and have a few drinks. I think we will all need it," said Olivia standing up and walking to the bedroom leaving her three friends sitting there a bit stunned.

Elliot followed Olivia out into the living room.

"Hey," he said. "Surprise," he said smiling at them.

"Oh my god," said Mel putting her hand over her mouth as she stood up and went towards him. She bent forward and hugged him. "Welcome back home Elliot."

"Thanks Mel it's good to be home," he said hugging her back before she stood up and wiped her eyes.

Alex came forward "I can't believe you're really alive," she said hugging him tight.

"Neither can I, I never thought I would be able to come back."

"What the hell happened?" she asked him. "How did you end up in Afghanistan?"

"Why don't we all get some more drinks and I will tell you everything," he said to them all.

For the next hour Elliot and Olivia explained everything that had happened. Casey and Alex ranted and raved about how they were going to crush the guys who messed up.

Olivia got up and grabbed some menus "Pizza okay for everyone?" she asked. They all nodded.

Elliot followed her to the kitchen and grabbed the wine form the fridge and a beer for himself. "So that went okay," he said as she got off the phone from ordering.

"I figured everything would be fine with them. Casey and Alex seem really pissed though with the FEDS."

"Well their not the only one, someone really fucked up and should be made to pay for what happened."

"I agree but you know the FEDS they won't say a thing and will close ranks."

"Well hopefully Casey and Alex together can crack them. I need dome answers Liv, I need to know why I was taken away from my family and the woman I love for years. I love you Liv and they took me away from you for no reason."

Olivia smiled at him "I love it when you talk like that, saying you love me."

"Yeah well I do," he said pulling her to him. She straddled his legs and sat on his knee facing him. "Your gorgeous, sexy got an amazing body what isn't there to love."

"Well when you put it like that," she grinned at him.

"Kiss me," he said to her his voice so deep and low.

"With pleasure," she whispered back to him, her lips meeting his as she kissed him softly but with so much love. Her hands cupping his face. The kiss quickly turned more passionate as Elliot's hands began to wander and he cupped her ass pulling her towards him.

"God you feel so good," he murmured into her neck as he kissed and sucked gently.

"You feel pretty good yourself," she smirked as she felt his erection pushing against her.

"How long will that pizza be?" he asked.

"About half hour," she mumbled as Elliot sucked harder on her neck. "Jesus that feels so good El." She wondered how just having his lips on her like this could have such an effect on her, she could feel herself getting more turned on. "We need to stop, Baby."

"I know" he moaned. "God I know, but it's hard to, I need you so bad."

"I know the feeling," she said dropping her head to his shoulder. "And I will show you how much later." Elliot wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"Well I guess that answers the question of who the hell had been at Elliot's neck," laughed Alex from behind them.

Olivia looked up and smiled at her.

"So do we need to make a quick departure and leave you alone?" she asked.

"No you can stay for a few drinks and pizza and then I'm kicking you all out," Olivia told her as she climbed off Elliot's lap.

Olivia closed the door as they said goodbye to their friends, and turned to Elliot. "Time for me to show you how much I need you," she grinned at him as she slowly undone her shirt and let it drop to the floor. Elliot watched her from across the room a smile on his face, as she stood across from him and undone her jeans pushing then down her legs and stepping out of them. Elliot swallowed hard, he had seen her naked and in various stages of dress the last few days, but her body still amazed him.

She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra and threw it to the floor. She couldn't believe she was doing this, she had never been comfortable with her body or being so upfront with any men, but with Elliot it was different she felt so relaxed and at ease with him. She looked over at Elliot he was looking at her with so much love and lust. She took hold of the top of her panties and looked down and then over at Elliot. She saw Elliot lick his bottom lip before biting it as he watched her.

"You okay El?" she asked him. He shook his head.

"You are fucking gorgeous Benson," he told her as she slowly pushed her panties down her legs and stepped out of them. She walked over to Elliot who was still staring at her. She sat on his lap facing him and kissed him hard.

"You want know how much I need you?" she asked him.

"How much?" he asked as Olivia reached down between her legs and stroked herself between her folds and lifted her fingers to his mouth her juices glistening.

"This is what you do to me, baby," she told him as he took her fingers into his mouth and licked her juices from them.

"God you taste so good," he told her his voice just above a whisper and so deep it sent shivers over Olivia.

"One of us is a bit overdressed," she said standing up and pulling his t-shirt up over his head. She reached for his sweatpants and he pushed his ass up off his chair so she could pull them down. "Much better," she smiled as she looked down at his already hard, thick cock pointing up towards her.

Standing up she stood either side of his legs and reached down taking hold of him and lined him up with her wet opening. The tip of his cock pushed against her wet opening as she slowly lowered herself down onto him. She hissed as she slid down his full length taking him in all in one go.

"Jesus Christ, Baby that feels so tight," said Elliot as her pussy walls gripped him tight. She lowered her head to him and kissed him hard as she began to move grinding her hips against him, squeezing him as tight as she could. She pulled her head back and looked him in the eyes.

"It was always going to be you, you know, even though we had never told each other, I would never have loved anyone the way I love you, you will always have my heart," she told him her eyes filling with tears.

"And you will always have mine, we were meant to be Liv."

Olivia gasped and her eyes widened "Oh my god El…..I…I felt you move, not much but u swear I just felt you push into me."

Elliot grinned "Yeah I think I kinda did."

Olivia flung her arms around his neck as she began to move on him again "You will be fucking me over my desk in no time," she whispered into his ear, as she ground herself hard onto him.

"Yeah well until then the bed will have to do," he said spinning his chair around.

"Elliot!" she screamed as he pushed the chair towards the bedroom with her still impaled on him. "What the hell you doing?"

"Well I can't carry you to bed so I need to improvise," he laughed as they crashed into the bed.

"God I love you Stabler," she told him as she rode him hard.

**Next up Elliot heads back to the precinct and the kids arrive.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the delay in the update I have had some major writers block and I really struggled with this chapter, plus I have been busy. Hope you find the chapter okay. Bit of naughtiness in this first half of the chapter.**

Chaptert14

Elliot turned onto his side and raised his head resting it on his hand. He looked down at Olivia who was still sleeping. He smiled and gently pushed some loose strands of hair out of her face.

"God how I missed you," he whispered. "You are so beautiful."

She murmured in her sleep making Elliot grin. He moved his hand under the sheet and rested it on her shaven mound. Slowly he pushed a finger between her warm, moist folds. He began to gently rub her clit with his finger in small circles, her juices coating his fingers. She moaned slightly in her sleep and her eyes fluttered. Elliot slipped his finger further into her folds towards her opening, as he pushed his finger in he leant forward and kissed her soft lips gently. She moaned into his mouth and opened her lips to kiss him back, at the same time as spreading her legs wider for him, allowing him to penetrate her deeper adding another finger. He broke from the kiss and looked down at her, her eyes were open.

"Morning beautiful," he smiled at her as he continued to pump his fingers slowly and gently into her pussy.

"Hmmmm, Morning Gorgeous," she smiled back. "That feels so good."

"Yeah well I aim to please," he told her as he pushed his fingers deep inside twisting and moving them slightly as he did. "You like that?" he asked her as she pushed her hips up to meet him. She nodded and he added a third finger spreading her wide.

"Fuck!" she gasped as she looked away from him and closed her eyes.

"No Liv, open your eyes baby, look at me."

She forced her eyes open and looked up at Elliot as his fingers moved in and out of her as deep as they could probing and touching her like nobody had ever done before. Her eyes locked onto his, as his thumb began to rub her clit. She moved her hips to push into his hand as he fucked her slowly with his fingers, their eyes never leaving each other.

"That's it baby, just let go," he said to her, his voice so deep and low. "I can feel your close, you're so fucking wet, come for me." Elliot could feel his cock becoming harder and harder pushing against her hip; he was so close to coming his self, without even being touched.

"El I can't hold on…. I'm gonna….oh god, what the fuck are you doing? Your so deep, it feels amazing" she told him finding it hard to even talk as his fingers moved inside her hitting places no one had even touched before. No man she had ever been with had ever made her feel like this, she felt her orgasm building like it never had before.

"Just let go Liv, don't hold back," he panted as he rubbed her clit harder and harder pushing his fingers in as deep as he could, curling one of his fingers forward pushing inside her.

Olivia screamed out his name and gripped his fingers as she came, hot fluids gushing from her and covering Elliot's hand, as her body convulsed, not once did they break eye contact, their faces only inches apart.

Watching her and feeling her cum was too much for Elliot, his cock twitched and he came, his cum spurting from him and covering her hip and stomach. "Fuck!" he growled into her mouth as she kissed him hard. Finally they both separated gasping for breath.

Elliot stopped moving his fingers leaving them inside her as her body began to calm from the climax.

A huge grin spread over Elliot's face as he looked at her "Did you just? You know….." he asked her.

Her cheeks began to turn red "Yeah I think I did, god I have never done that before….. I have heard about it, but never done it."

"What never, not with anyone?"

"No El never….. If I'm honest I never really believed women could ejaculate or whatever it is I have just done."

"So I was your first," he said his grin getting bigger. Olivia laughed and shook her head.

"Jesus as though we need your ego to get any bigger."

"How did it feel, you know compared to how it normally feels?" he asked as he slowly removed his fingers from her making her hiss.

"I don't know how to describe it, it was just more intense, and it's hard to explain. My body is still shaking." She smiled at him and ran her hand down the back of his neck. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me Liv, I enjoyed it just as much. It was a first time for me as well coming like that without being touched."

"You need to do it again sometime but let me watch," she grinned at him.

"And how do you think we will manage that?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Oh give me time, I will think of something…. Trust me."

Elliot's mind began to race as he began to wonder how she could make him come without touching him and also watch at the same time. He snapped out of it and looked down at her.

"For now I think we both need to get cleaned up and wash your sheets, there kinda wet and sticky," he laughed wiping his hand and lower arm on the sheets. "Now why don't you jump in the shower whist I get washed up? I will wait till we get back to mine before I shower. It will be easier for me there."

He sat up and pulled his legs over the side of the bed, he looked over his shoulder at Olivia who was still lying on the bed watching him.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I just can't believe you're finally mine and we are actually together. After all the times I had to watch you go home to Kathy after work, it was hard, you know."

"Trust me Liv; it was hard for me to leave you as well. And even harder for me to watch you go out on dates with other guys. Do you know how much strength it took me not to punch Cassidy when he was following you around like a lost puppy after you and him…. you know. I hated the guy and was so glad when Cragen finally got rid of him. And all the other guys who got to take you on dates. I know I had no right to be jealous I was still married to Kathy, but it was hard and it hurt… My heart broke each time, and each time I felt like shit cause I was married and wasn't supposed to feel like that."

"Yeah well all that's changed now, Kathy is happy and has moved on, and I for one have never felt this happy, before."

She jumped out of bed suddenly "Don't move," she told him as she disappeared into the bathroom. Elliot followed her with his eyes as her naked body ran into the bathroom. He didn't think he would ever tire of seeing her with no clothes on.

"Liv we need to get cleaned up and head to my place so I can shower before I meet Haung and my therapist." He called after her.

"I know," she yelled back. "But I have an idea that will mean we can bypass your place, to save time, just stay on the bed."

He heard her moving about and running water, cupboards opening and slamming shut. She emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later. She was carrying a bowl of water and two large towels.

"I think it could be time for your bed bath," she smiled as she walked over to the bed and lay one of the towels over it.

Elliot grinned back at her "Are you serious?"

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "Now lie down on the towel."

Elliot done as he was told as Olivia put the bowl of water on the bedside table. She then climbed on the bed and straddled his legs.

"I certainly don't remember my bed baths being like this when I first got injured."

"I should hope not," she smiled as she took the sponge out the water and squeezed the excess water from it. She leant forward and gently wiped the sponge over the top of his chest. She could see the faint scars from all his injuries over the years, there were so many. She dipped it back in the water and lifted his arm running the sponge up and down the full length before moving to the other arm.

"This okay?" she asked him as she continued to wash his upper body, her pussy pushing against his cock which was already beginning to get hard again.

"God yes, never felt better," he told her as she dipped the sponge in the water and began washing the rest of his chest and down over his abs and sides. The sponge rubbed against his cock every now and then making him flinch and his cock twitch, he closed his eyes and dropped his head back on the pillow.

Olivia dropped the sponge into the bowl and took out the small bar of soap she had in there and soaped up her hands, she moved back down his legs and took hold of his erect cock in her hand, and began to wash him, her hands sliding up and down his full length easily thanks to the soap.

"Damn it baby, that feels so good," he groaned pushing his head into the pillow and his eyes closed as Olivia washed his balls with one hand as the other ran up and down his full length, as she stroked him faster and harder. She felt herself becoming wet as she watched and felt his cock throbbing in her hand. She reached between her legs and began rubbing herself.

Elliot opened his eyes and looked first at her hand on his cock then then at her hand between her legs as she rubbed herself as well.

"Fuck Liv," he gasped, "That's it, I'm gonna cum," he said his voice strained Olivia moved forward slightly and stopped rubbing herself she lifted up onto her knees so she was hovering above his cock as he came, his cum spurting out, and hitting her pussy covering her swollen lips. Olivia sat back again keeping her hand on his cock she began to rub herself hard again her fingers lubricated by Elliot's hot cum. Elliot watched her as she flung her head back and came for a second time that morning. She flung herself forward and kissed him hard on the lips.

"Jesus Elliot," she panted, as she sat up and looked at him chuckling, "Guess I need to wash you again," she said looking down at some of the cum that had hit his stomach. "I will try and behave this time," she told him as she reached over and took the sponge from the bowl. "You know," she said as she wiped the sponge gently over his sensitive cock. "I'm sure you pushed your hips forward again that time as you came, I could definitely feel something."

"Guess we will find out later…. Haung reckons a lot of it is in my head."

"What did he mean?"

Elliot shrugged "I don't know I will let you know when I have seen him later; he just reckons I should be walking now, after he looked at my notes. He thinks I had some sort of mental block where I didn't want to walk, because I had no reason to…"

"Well you do now, you have a lot of reasons why you should be out of that chair, and you got it."

Elliot looked at her and took her hand with the sponge in it stopping her. "Sweetheart, I am going to do everything in my power to walk again. I promise you. A week ago I thought I had nothing. Now I am back with you and the kids, and everyone else. Like you say I have plenty of reasons to get out of this chair."

xxxxxxxxx

"Who was that?" asked Olivia, looking over at Elliot from the driver's side.

"It was a voice mail from Haung… I need to meet him at the station for my session." He said turning his head to look at her.

"You okay with that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, "I guess so I don't have much choice really…."

"Hey… everything will be fine, and I will be with you all the way," she told him reaching across to take his hand. Elliot squeezed her hand tightly.

"What time did the kids say they were getting to yours?"

"Later this evening, but they are coming straight to your place first to see you," Elliot nodded and looked out the window.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Olivia drove to the station.

"Where here," she said pulling up outside the station.

Elliot looked out the window and at the building.

"You sure you're gonna be okay?" she asked him.

"Yeah…. Just never thought I would be back here."

"I will grab your chair from the back," she said climbing out the car and slamming the door. Elliot removed his seat belt and opened the door lifting his legs and turning his body as he waited for Olivia. Two cops in uniform walked by and one stared at Elliot.

"What the hell," he heard him say as he nudged the man next him, they both stared as they walked a look of shock on their faces as they passed him slowly. Olivia stood In front of him with his chair blocking his view from the men.

"What's up?" she asked when she noticed the change in him.

"I don't think I can go in there….. it's too soon," he told her. "Cragen was going to tell everyone before I came back…." He went to lift his legs back in the car; Olivia dropped down beside him and put her hands on his legs.

"Hey," she said softly. "It's going to be fine."

"How can it be fine Liv, everyone thinks I'm dead and on top of that I'm in that fucking wheelchair, I can't have anyone staring at me, pointing the finger… feeling sorry for me." he said dropping his head.

"No one Is going to feel sorry for you… yes their going to be shocked and maybe they won't know what to say to you, but that's natural. Once they get the email Cragen is sending out they will all understand baby," she said cupping his face and kissing him softly on the lips. "In a few days it will be like you never left. Hell I give it a week max before IAB are trying to blame you for something," she laughed.

Elliot smiled at her and nodded "Pass my chair," he said to her. Olivia moved out the way and pushed the chair to him. Elliot lifted himself into the chair and pushed himself away from the door so Olivia could close it. "Oh and just to let you know," he said looking up at her as they moved towards the precinct doors. "When you call me baby like that, it really turns me fucking on," he grinned at her. Olivia slapped his shoulder and held the door open for him.

"Just move it Stabler," she laughed at him as they entered and headed to the security check point. He noticed a few people stopping and staring at him as they went past. Olivia removed her gun and put it in the small tray.

"You okay there, Charlie?" asked Olivia when the older man on the check point just stood and stared at Elliot.

"D… D….Det….. Detective Stable," he stuttered.

"Hey Charlie," said Elliot smiling at him.

"You're alive?" he said still not moving.

"Yep….. did you not get the email?" Elliot asked him. Charlie shook his head still in shock at seeing Elliot.

"No….. I aint got a computer, don't understand them," he said shaking his head still not believing what he was seeing.

"Well I'm alive, just had to go away for a while, but I'm back now….. my chair might set off the metal alarms," he said trying to bring Charlie out of the daze he was in.

"Erm yeah…." He said shaking his head. He went to the side gate and opened it for Elliot to go through.

"Thanks Man," said Elliot. "It's good to see you again," he said reaching out an shaking the man's hand.

"You to Detective," said Charlie as Elliot and Olivia headed towards the elevator. They saw and heard people stop and stare, Elliot's name being mentioned as they waited for the doors to open.

"See told you it wouldn't be that bad," laughed Olivia as the doors opened and they went in.

Olivia looked down at Elliot she could tell he was nervous and she couldn't blame him. she reached down and took hold of his hand. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Thank you," he said kissing her hand as the doors opened. He took a deep breath and let go of her hand and pushed himself out the elevator. Olivia came out next to him and walked beside him as they made their way to the squad room.

Elliot sat at the entrance of the room and looked around nothing had changed, the desks everything all in the same place. Fin looked up from his paperwork.

"Hey, Hey look whose back," he grinned standing up and walking over to Elliot and shaking his hand. "How's going man, you here to see the Cap?"

"Yeah, well him and Haung, I got my first session and he told me to meet him here."

"Is the Cap in?" Olivia asked him.

"Yeah, he just got in."

"Okay best go in and see him then, I need to sort out some time off officially," said Olivia.

"It's not like you aint got the time built up. You have worked nonstop since Elliot left."

"You coming in or waiting here?" she asked him.

"I will just wait here," he said looking over at what used to be his desk. Olivia nodded and walked over to Cragen's office knocking and entering.

Elliot pushed himself over to his desk and pushed the chair out the way and pushed his wheelchair under the desk. Fin went over to a locker and pulled out a box and put it in front of Elliot.

"What's this?" asked Elliot.

"Your stuff. Olivia refused to get rid of it, so she boxed it up and kept it," he told him as he went back to his desk. Elliot opened the box and smiled as he began to take the stuff out. Olivia had kept everything from his pens and pencils to the little notes he had wrote. He looked over at Fin.

"What can I say Man, she wasn't ready to let you go… it took her months to actually pack the desk up, she wouldn't let anyone use it."

"God I never meant to hurt her so much, I really wanted to tell her, I just couldn't risk it."

"Yeah we know that now, but at the time she thought you were gone for good, she never thought she would get the chance to tell you how she really felt for you."

Elliot's thought were disrupted as Olivia and Cragen came out the office. He spun round and smiled at her. "All sorted?"

"Yep, Cap has managed to get me a full month off, which means we can do that trip down to Florida whenever your Physio says you can." Elliot grinned at her and took her hand.

"A full month to make up for lost time," he grinned at her wiggling his eyebrows. "You're gonna need another month off to recover," laughed Elliot and Olivia slapped his shoulder.

"Okay that's my cue to leave," said Cragen. "Haung said he would be here shortly he is on his way, when he arrives you can use my office," Cragen told Elliot and turned back towards his office.

"Cap!" Elliot called after him. "What do you think my chances are of coming back to work, I mean I know I can't go out in the field or anything but I could do paperwork?"

Cragen turned and grinned at him. "I have a meeting at 1PP next week to discuss your options. I need a report from Haung first to take with me. The fact you had to leave and had no choice in the matter should go well for you. Just concentrate on getting back on your feet and enjoying your time with Olivia and your family. Work can wait for now. Now I best go and send that email to all the departments before people think they are seeing a ghost" He said walking into his office and closing his door.

Elliot stayed at his desk looking through the stuff in his box as Olivia finished off some paperwork. She looked up and smiled as she watched Elliot looking through his stuff.

"Quit staring Liv," he said without looking up.

"I can't help it, having you sit across from me again…. It's like you have never been away."

"You know I have been thinking, if I do come back how will that work for us, now we are together?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders "I don't know, I mean it's gonna be a while before your allowed back on the streets, so I guess they will have plenty of time to sort it out."

Elliot pushed himself around so he was next to Olivia and took hold of her hand "I don't care what they do as long as I can come to work  
with you each morning, I will even work with Munch if I have to," he said pulling her out of her chair and onto his knee.

"You would Huh," she said running her fingers through his short hair. "Personally I think you would kill Munch within the first few weeks, you would drive each other insane."

Elliot grinned and kissed her pulling her to him as he ran his fingers through her hair. Fin looked over and smiled, it made a change to see Olivia happy it was something he hadn't seen for such a long time.

"There will only be one drawback working with Munch," he smiled as broke the kiss and moved hi slips to her neck.

"And what would that be?" she asked him trying not to gasp as he sucked gently behind her ear

"His ass aint half as cute as yours," he mumbled. Olivia giggled and moved her head so she could capture his lips again not caring she was in the squad room, in the station all she cared about was her lips on his. Elliot ran his hands down her side holding onto her hips pulling her to him, moaning into her mouth.

Fin looked up from his desk when someone walked into the squad room and stood glaring at the make out session that was going on. "_Oh boy, this should be fun,"_ he thought to himself grinning.

"Detective Benson, what the hell do you think you're doing!" he snapped.

Olivia broke away from the kiss as she heard her name from behind her, without moving to much she looked at Elliot grinning as she recognised the voice.

"This is totally inappropriate behaviour for the work place, where the hell is Cragen?"

"See told you," she said to Elliot. "You're not even back yet and in trouble with IAB," she said as she stood up from Elliot's knee and stood by his side. "What's your problem Tucker?" she asked him.

Tucker stepped back slightly, a look of shock on his face as he stared at Elliot. "What…. What the hell," he stammered as he looked at Elliot. "You're supposed to be dead," he said.

Elliot was about to answer when Cragen's door opened "Elliot do you want to come in here Haung is on his way up," he said looking out into the squad room and seeing Tucker stood there. He grinned to himself as he walked over.

"What the hell is going on?" Tucker asked Cragen as he stared at Elliot.

"Did you not get the email?" asked Cragen.

"What fucking email," he snapped.

"The one that explained about Detective Stabler and how he has been in protective custody for the last 2 years."

"No I didn't get the email, I got a message from Detective Munch that you needed to see me urgent, so I came straight over."

"I don't know where he got that from," said Cragen. "I don't need to see you." They all stood looking at each other and then all turned as Munch came in the room staring at him.

"Ooops did I get my wires crossed," he asked grinning. "I thought you needed to see him." He winked at Olivia as he walked to his desk and sat down and Olivia shook her head.

Tucker looked round at them all his eyes stopping on Elliot looking at him sat in the wheelchair. "So is he back in the department?" he asked Cragen as though Elliot wasn't even there. "Cause if he is there is no way they can be partners, after what I saw. Detective Benson should know better and if she doesn't like it she can go as well."

Elliot shook his head "un fucking believable," he said. "I show up after being presumed dead for over two years, I'm in a wheelchair, and the only thing you have to say is I can't be Liv's partner. What the hell have you done for the last two years when I wasn't around. You must have been so fucking bored without my balls to bust."

"I mean what I say," he said to Cragen ignoring Elliot as though he wasn't even there. "If he is back you can't partner them together."

"Hey!" yelled Elliot. "Don't fucking ignore me!"

Olivia put her hand on his shoulder "El," she said trying to calm him. She could feel his body shaking in anger at the way Tucker was treating them. Munch and Fin got to their feet and walked over standing by Elliot and Olivia.

"I think you better go," said Cragen. Tucker looked around at them his eyes never once looking at Elliot. "Now!" said Cragen raising his voice. Tucker turned and walked quickly out the room. "You okay?" he asked Elliot.

"That prick," said Elliot. "He acted as though I wasn't even here."

"I'm sorry Elliot, I thought it would be funny if he came up and just saw you sitting there," said Munch.

"It's okay John, it's not your fault the guy is an idiot," said Elliot looking up at him. "And it was quite funny until he got all weird. God I just really wanted to fucking hit him."

"You're not the only one Baby," said Olivia taking hold of his hand. Elliot looked up and smiled at her.

Fin looked at his watch "In the station less than an hour and already the two of you have managed to piss off IAB, not bad going," he laughed as Haung walked in the room. He looked around at everyone.

"What did I miss?" he asked.

xxxxxxxxx

"So Elliot how have things been since you got back?"

"Yeah, good…. Really good."

"How did your children take the news?"

"Well shocked at first as you could expect… there were tears but things are great now, better than I ever thought."

"What do you mean by that?"

"By what?"

"When you said better than you ever thought."

Elliot looked at him confused. "I don't get what you mean?"

"Well you said things were better than you ever thought, did you have some doubts about how things would be?"

"Well you know, I wasn't sure how everything would go, with the kids and Kathy, my Mom. But everything went great…. I thought there may have been a few problems you know."

"Problems with what?"

"Well …. When they found out I was with Liv. I thought Kathy would be pissed and the kids upset."

"Why did you think that?"

"I don't know maybe because before I left the kids were pissed at me because me and Kathy were divorcing. Kathy was pissed at me because she knew deep down I had feelings for Liv. I didn't know they had all become best friends since they thought I was dead."

Haung looked at Elliot for a while.

"Why does that bother you so much."

"What you on about?" Elliot snapped.

"Why does the fact your Ex-wife and kids get on with Olivia bother you so much?"

Elliot glared at him. "It doesn't… why the hell would I not like the fact everyone is getting on."

"I didn't say you didn't like it… I said it bothered you, why is that?"

Elliot stared at Haung "It's not that it bothers me, it's just… it's like….." he looked down at his lap as he spoke. "It's like without me around, everyone got on together. Before I left everyone hated everyone else there were arguments all the time. But as soon as I'm dead everything changed, Kathy and Liv become best friends, and my kids spend time with Liv in the holidays and weekends….."

"And now you're worried that it's all going to end now your back."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, I'm worried now I'm back things will go back to how it was, and I couldn't handle that."

"Elliot, I don't think that will happen. Your family and Olivia became close when you left because they all loved and missed you, the put all their differences aside because of how they felt about you."

"But what if now I am back I screw it all up?"

"And how will you do that?"

"I don't know, I managed pretty well in the past."

"But in the past you were juggling all these feelings. You were in love with your Partner and couldn't tell anyone, you were under a lot of stress….. and you wouldn't talk to anyone."

Elliot looked up at him.

"And this time you done have a choice, you need to talk to me if you ever want to get back to work. And I promise you I will do my best to stop you screwing everything up …..again."

"Thanks Doc," he said smiling

"So how has everything else been…. Between you and Olivia since I last saw you."

Elliot's face lit up when Haung mentioned him and Olivia. "We have been great…. She has been great," he grinned.

"And what about in the bedroom, the last time we spoke….."

"Things are good, no great… never better. We work around the chair and me not being able to move properly."

"That's good Elliot," smiled Haung.

"I Erm… well Liv she said the last time we made love that she felt me pushing up towards her, that I moved a little."

"That's great, you need to tell your physiotherapist this afternoon."

"You know Doc, as much as I hate to say it I think you were right about my legs. I had no reason to try and even walk again, but now, that's all I want, and I don't care how much pain I go through, I will walk again."

**For some reason I really struggled with this chapter and I know it wasn't one of my best. Things will improve I promise.**


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